Chi?
I had a massage Thursday.
Picture it. A dimly lit room. The sound of water. Soft instrumental music. Candles flickering. The soft smell of eucalyptus floating in the air. The massage therapist discovers the steel cord in my shoulder and begins to transform it back to human muscle.
Then, she says: “Did you hear about that guy over in Deltona?”
Me: “oh, no, don’t tell me any bad news, especially if it involves children.”
Her: “No, it’s nothing about kids. This guy murdered this other guy and then shot a police officer in the face.”
Good feelings gone. (From a Disney movie. Who said it? )
I spent the next hour changing the subject to more positive things. Over and over and over. Seriously. She’s had some fairly negative things to say in previous sessions, but this time, she complained every time she opened her mouth. Nothing good to say about anyone or anything. Everyone is stupid and a pain in the butt, from her ex-husband, to her son, to her boyfriend, to the vitamin sales rep . . . she even had vulgar things to say about Muscadine grapes after I changed the subject to fruit in a final and desperate attempt to keep things positive. I thought talking about fruit was safe, noting all the great fruit in season right now. She picked one to complain about and called it a shXXbag. And that isn’t the only curse word she tossed around. Seriously? How can a massage therapist not make the connection that continuous negative conversation doesn’t compliment a massage?
What is the deal? She has worked miracles on my shoulder over the last few months. Was she just having a bad day? Has she just become too familiar with me? And if so, has she not paid attention to the fact that I don’t use foul language? Or say mean things about people? I don’t want to know what she had to say about me after I left.
I’m taking a break from massage. I don’t know if I’ll go back to her. She does good work, but the experience is not positive. I spend the time and quite a bit of focused energy pointing out good things in life. Not restorative. Emotionally draining.
I went to an open house for this spa two weeks ago and got a free twenty minute acupuncture session. Interesting. I’ve got a number of health issues which could supposedly be treated with acupuncture, from reflux to eczema, not to mention the arthritis in my neck. I’ve had craniosacral massage before and it was actually very effective in relieving pain, so although I don’t understand it, I know it worked. I figure it’s time to find out whether acupuncture will work for me. Tomorrow I go for my first full session and I’m thinking I’ll try it out through my surgery date.
As usual, looking for information. Anyone have acupuncture treatments? Thoughts? Advice?
It’s a backwards edition over at Works for Me Wednesday, hosted by Kristen at We Are THAT Family. Click on over and see if you can help someone out!
Works for Me Wednesday posts prior to February 2009 are archived at Rocks In My Dryer
H-Day: April 30th.
That would be the date for what I’m hoping is the final “ectomy” in my life. I’ve had a myomectomy and a polypectomy to remove my pesky fibroid tumors in the past but they always come back.
I’m finally taking away their home forever.
I’m impressed with how fast this is happening. I made the decision in late January and just a few short months later . . .
I banked a unit of my blood on Friday afternoon! That’s a big deal because of my low iron. I passed my iron test and I didn’t even study for it. My doctor is very conservative and wanted me to bank two units of my own blood just in case. I’ve done it for my past surgeries and ended up not needing to use it, so hopefully the same will be true for this surgery. (FYI – Donating your own blood for later use is called autologous donation, just in case you ever need to know.)
This time, I had to work a little to stop the bleeding. I’ve never had that happen before. I had to use ice and extended pressure and today my arm looks pretty bad. I guess from where the blood kinda backed up under my skin? It’s a big, oblong, purple/yellow bruise, a little over 3 inches from one end to the other. I’ll spare you the photo, it’s not pretty.
I’m seriously wiped out today. I did an hour of strength training and it was a LONG hour. I was definitely weaker than normal. It took some determination to get through the hour without wimping out. I recently read another blogger say she was able to hold a plank for two minutes and I was freakishly and competitively driven inspired to do the same. I was able to do a minute forty Friday morning and I was hoping to make it to two minutes today. yeah . . . no. A minute forty five. I’m supposed to do strength training again tomorrow. I’ll try again. I started sublingual B-12 supplements today so hopefully that will help.
I have 5 more appointments/tests before the big day, including a complete cardio workup.
I can’t wait for the other side of this surgery. No more fatigue. No more low iron. No more feminine hygiene products. EVER.
I should do a giveaway. Or a bonfire.
uncool mom. cool mom.
What I learned this week:
1. I am not a cool mom.
2. I am a cool mom. FavoriteSon was asked to move up to Varsity Track now that his middle school track season is complete. He was invited to a “track party” the night before the meet. First high school party. We knew the host parents and the coach was going to be there too, so we let him go. When I picked him up around 10pm, I didn’t go up to the door and knock like the other parents. I pulled up outside, parked the car, turned off the headlights and sent him a text message:
“I’m parked outside. Whenever you’re ready. No rush.”
Then I sat in the car and rehearsed Praise Team music for the next morning’s church service. He came out in 15 minutes. I asked him if he preferred the text message or if he would have been okay with me knocking on the door to get him.
Text message. Good to know.
3. What happens at a high school track party. The coach gives a 90 minute testimony and motivational talk. Also good to know. (Both FavoriteSon and the host parents told me.)
4. I need to wear sunscreen to the Varsity Track Meets. They are during the day on Saturdays. Middle School Track Meets are during late afternoon/evening hours.
5. I need to make sure the memory card is in the camera. Before I leave the house to go to a track meet.
To find out what others learned this week, check out What I Learned this Week hosted by Musings of a Housewife.
Check out other cool moms at Works for Me Wednesday, hosted by Kristen at We Are THAT Family.
Works for Me Wednesday posts prior to February 2009 are archived at Rocks In My Dryer
Chicken Grape Salad
A track meet lasts for hours. HOURS. I suppose I understand. If FavoriteSon doesn’t rest between races, he tends to ralph. But what to feed a runner between races? Too much and again, ralph. Too little and they don’t perform as well. Then there’s getting him to eat something at all.
Here’s the scene: He runs a race (and wins, of course). I walk to the field with Gatorade or water. He waives me off and turns away. (Because it is NOT cool to talk to your mom at a middle school track meet.) His coach says, “Take the Gatorade, your mother knows what she’s doing.” (That’s RIGHT!)
After a few weeks of that nonsense, I explained to FavoriteSon: “When I walk out on that field and hand you a bottle of Gatorade, I’m invisible. Your friends don’t even see me. You know when they see me? When you waive me away and your coach calls you out in front of everyone.”
silence. thinking.
I continue, “Here’s what I’ll do – after a run, I’ll bring a small snack and drink to you on the field, hand it to you and walk away. No one will even notice me. Okay?
“ok.”
It worked out perfectly. After the first race, I walked out to the field, handed him half of a peeled navel orange and walked away. No eye contact necessary. Didn’t even interrupt his conversation. After his second race, I walked out with a banana and some Gatorade and he actually talked to me. I waited and took away the rest of the banana and the Gatorade bottle. I will not take that as a sign that it is now acceptable for me to interrupt him when he’s engaged in post-race conversation with his friends.
Last week, I packed us a dinner and brought an ice chest in an effort to stave off concession stand food. The big hit was the chicken salad. It takes about 5 minutes to make! The first version was canned chicken breast, drained, shredded and mixed with light mayo and white grapes, sliced in half. BIG hit! This week, I ran out of mayo and had to substitute spinach dip. LOVED it!
I don’t assemble the sandwiches before the meet because they tend to get soggy. I just bring the salad in a container (square, of course), some bread and a fork. I can assemble the sandwiches right there in the stands. Here’s my sandwich from today, using the leftover Chicken Grape Salad:
Find great recipes and helpful kitchen tips at Kitchen Tip Tuesdays hosted by Tammy’s Recipes!
And click on over to check out the recipes at Tempt My Tummy Tuesday hosted by Lisa at Blessed With Grace
Need more? Head over to Tasty Tuesday hosted by Kim at Forever . . . Wherever!
Find more ideas over at Works for Me Wednesday, hosted by Kristen at We Are THAT Family.
Works for Me Wednesday posts prior to February 2009 are archived at Rocks In My Dryer
conversations with my mother. 2nd edition.
This past week, Grace came straight from God, through me, directly to my mother. It was a fairly constant flow.
My mother is visiting from Arkansas. I have been filling her days and evenings with activities (with me) to distract her from my dad and sisters. FirstHusband says they owe me big time. She leaves Monday morning, early. I plan on sitting on my love seat on Monday morning, with a cup of coffee, listening to the clocks tick.
Here’s an example of this week’s conversation with my mother:
My Mother: “Did I tell you my joke about the zebra?”
Me: “No.”
My Mother: “The zebra asked St. Peter if he was white with black stripes or black with white stripes.”
Me: (no. please no. not one of these jokes.)
My Mother: “St. Peter told the zebra to ask God. God said, “You are what you are.” The zebra went back to St. Peter and said he didn’t understand God’s answer. St. Peter said, “You are white with black stripes.” The zebra asked, “How do you know?” St. Peter said, because he said “You are what you are.” If you were black with white stripes, he would have said . . . “
Me: (oh, please don’t say it. please. somebody please tell me that my own mother doesn’t think this is funny. Thank you God, that we are in the car and I’m the only one who can hear this. )
My Mother: She finishes the joke. (and if you don’t know what she said, GOOD!!! That means we’re making progress in the world.)
Me: (instead of the expected laugh, smile or chuckle) “You know I teach cultural competence, right?”
My Mother: “Yeh.” (chuckle.)
Me: “Please tell me you don’t tell that joke in public places.”
(I already know she tells these jokes in non-public places. And I’ve known her long enough to know that’s not going to change. The last time she included my email address in a group email and sent an “inappropriate” email to our family shared inbox, she concluded with “anyone who doesn’t think this is hilarious just doesn’t have a sense of humor.”)
My Mother: “Sometimes. But not when anyone can hear me.”
Me: “There are a lot of people who wouldn’t find that joke funny.”
My Mother: (sigh.) “I know.”
Later that afternoon, at my house, in front of FavoriteSon, with PinkGirl a few feet away:
My Mother: “Can I tell my zebra joke to YourFavoriteSon?”
Me: “No, mom. He doesn’t think like that.”
My Mother: “Please?” (sticks her bottom lip out in a childish pout, which she somehow believes has persuasive power)
Me: “No. I’ve done a lot of work here. Please don’t chip away at it.”
I will spare you the comment she made about the black pastor of the church she has been attending. I will skip the mocking imitation of the Latin accented sales lady as we were leaving a store.
I know she was leveling. She needs to see others as less.
Any time I’m around someone who makes fun of others, I see it as leveling. I perceive the person making fun as lacking in self-confidence and finding it easier to put others at a lower level than bring themselves up to a higher one. I believe the same is true for people who use non-joking sarcasm to make others look stupid.
When I witness a person making fun of someone or being snidely or cruelly sarcastic (or when I am the target myself), my view is that it stems from the attacker’s weakness and deep need to be better than others. If I can view them this way, I don’t get angry so much. I feel pity for them, and can give them Grace. But not respect.
sarcasm has its place. (note: this clip has a curse word in it)
Word-Filled Wednesday: Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV
I hate flux.
Here’s an excerpt of a devotional I wrote on this verse, back in October of 2005, entitled nosebleed:
“Last month I shared my prayer as I seek God’s direction in my life: “Lord, please use people, circumstances, your Word and your Spirit to guide me in the direction I need to go in order to glorify you . . . and please, please, please SLAM the door in my face if I even BEGIN to move in direction you don’t want me to go.”
I got a door slammed in my face.
I’ve been teaching Business and Professional Communication at the University of Central Florida since the Fall of 1998, so when I received my contract for Fall of 2005, I signed it and mailed it back – no big deal. After 7 years, it’s routine.
Two days later, the phone rings. It’s my “boss.” He’s the guy who handles the scheduling and staffing for the Organizational Communication courses. He’s new to the job this semester, taking it over from my old “boss” who recently retired. He’s nice. Friendly. Turns out, he was one of my instructors when I went to UCF.
In a nutshell? UCF is going through the re-accreditation process and he needs to “confirm” my “credentials” before he finalizes the schedule. So, we go over my resume, I tell him some recent work history and then there’s the teaching of this class for the last 7 years. Twice in those 7 years, I’d been asked to allow new instructors job shadow me. So, it’s a nice conversation. I’m confident I’ve highlighted my qualifications for the job. He thanks me and tells me he’ll let me know.
I spend the next 24 hours thinking about the possibilities. Will they offer me a full time associate position? A visiting professor position? Do I really want to work full time? How would it impact my family’s life?
The next day, the phone rings and he greets me with:
“Julie, the news isn’t good.””
To read the entire devotional, Click HERE
Join in Word-Filled Wednesdays hosted by Amydeanne over at The 160 Acre Woods!
nosebleed.
This post, entitled nosebleed, was originally posted on Pragmatic Communion on October 14, 2005.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV
Last month I shared my prayer as I seek God’s direction in my life: “Lord, please use people, circumstances, your Word and your Spirit to guide me in the direction I need to go in order to glorify you . . . and please, please, please SLAM the door in my face if I even BEGIN to move in direction you don’t want me to go.”
I got a door slammed in my face.
I’ve been teaching Business and Professional Communication at the University of Central Florida since the Fall of 1998, so when I received my contract for Fall of 2005, I signed it and mailed it back – no big deal. After 7 years, it’s routine.
Two days later, the phone rings. It’s my “boss.” He’s the guy who handles the scheduling and staffing for the Organizational Communication courses. He’s new to the job this semester, taking it over from my old “boss” who recently retired. He’s nice. Friendly. Turns out, he was one of my instructors when I went to UCF.
In a nutshell? UCF is going through the re-accreditation process and he needs to “confirm” my “credentials” before he finalizes the schedule. So, we go over my resume, I tell him some recent work history and then there’s the teaching of this class for the last 7 years. Twice in those 7 years, I’d been asked to allow new instructors job shadow me. So, it’s a nice conversation. I’m confident I’ve highlighted my qualifications for the job. He thanks me and tells me he’ll let me know.
I spend the next 24 hours thinking about the possibilities. Will they offer me a full time associate position? A visiting professor position? Do I really want to work full time? How would it impact my family’s life?
The next day, the phone rings and he greets me with:
“Julie, the news isn’t good.”
(“The news isn’t good?” Wait. That wasn’t one of the scenarios I’d been playing in my head for the last 24 hours.)
“It turns out you’re credentialed to teach in the Business Department, not the Communication Department.”
“I’m not qualified to teach in the Communication Department?”
“No, no, no, no, we both know you’re QUALIFIED, you’re just not CREDENTIALED. You have an MBA and to teach in the Communication Department, you need 18 hours of Master’s level work in the Communication Department.”
“Oh.”
So he fills the awkward silence with an encouraging monologue.
(I think – I wasn’t really listening.)
Finally, I say, “You know, it’s okay. Really. I don’t know you very well, but I’ll just tell you – I’m a Christian and I’ve been praying for God’s direction. This means I’m supposed to be doing something else with my time and energy.”
(WHERE did THAT come from????)
“I’M A CHRISTIAN TOO! Julie, this is going to turn out well for you. I really believe that!”
wow. i do too. really.
So we spend a few more minutes talking, he tells me I can call him if I need a reference, we hang up and I no longer teach for UCF.
Excuse me while I tip my head back for a while.
i hate flux.
I’m in transition. again. I think. I’ve got a decision to make about God’s will, service, direction, music, time, commitment, family . . .
I’m flashing back. deja vu. This post was my first on my Pragmatic Communion Blog. It was originally published in September of 2005.
this is what you get when you combine:
a mid-life crisis
(I turned 29 just 12 short years ago!),
a few good books
(okay, more than a few),
a whole lot of soul searching
(my husband LOVED the conversations – all 4,263 of them.)
a background of seemingly unrelated skills, education & experience
(God can use anything, right?)
and two years of listening and waiting on God
(I hate it when God teaches me patience – again.)
I’d like to tell you my plan, but you know what they say:
“How do you make God laugh?”
“Make a plan.”
SO,
I’ll tell you how I got here, keep you up to date on what’s going on and post my musings on what might happen in the future. Your guess is as good as mine. Here’s what I pray more than anything else:
“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you . . . “
(I do eventually stop.)
Here’s what I pray next:
“Lord, please use people, circumstances, your Word and your Spirit to guide me in the direction I need to go in order to glorify you . . . and please, please, please SLAM the door in my face if I even BEGIN to move in direction you don’t want me to go.”
Just be careful what you pray for.
(I’ll tell you about my recent nosebleed in a later post).
egg cube.
I mentioned before that my kids love boiled eggs, but I forgot to mention this little gadget.
It’s a tiny little vice-like plastic egg cuber. Seriously. It turns boiled eggs into squares. You boil the egg, peel it while it is still warm, pop it in the square shaped compartment and screw down the lid. Refrigerate for a few minutes and you get this: (okay. I accidentally froze mine. That’s why the sides are so wrinkly.)
Then, you send it to school in a kid’s lunch box or slice it in half and serve on a plate of deviled eggs and when asked about it, you make comments like, “ouch. that had to hurt.” or “I don’t know. It just came that way.” Any other suggested responses would be MUCH appreciated.
If you pop the gadget into the freezer to chill it, you can speed up the process and cube more than one before the eggs cool off too much. The cube isn’t quite as square after the egg is cool. I need to find another one. Where did I get this one? Whale of a Sale. 25 cents.
And of course, someone put a video on youtube.
I may not be able to make square watermelons, but I can make these.
Find great recipes and helpful kitchen tips at Kitchen Tip Tuesdays hosted by Tammy’s Recipes!
And click on over to check out the recipes at Tempt My Tummy Tuesday hosted by Lisa at Blessed With Grace
Need more? Head over to Tasty Tuesday hosted by Kim at Forever . . . Wherever!
Find more ideas over at Works for Me Wednesday, hosted by Kristen at We Are THAT Family.
Works for Me Wednesday posts prior to February 2009 are archived at Rocks In My Dryer
my mother is visiting.
and that’s all I have to say about that. right now.
it don’t get no easier than that!
About 10:15 this morning, I drove into the parking lot of my favorite mechanic, opened the back of my van and one of the guys immediately came out of the shop, got my tire out of the back and asked me if I wanted to wait for it or come back. I said I could come back around 2:00 p.m. And no, I hadn’t called ahead.
I came back at 2:05 p.m., and as I got out of the van, the same guy came out of the shop to get my keys. He put my tire back on my van and 15 minutes later I was driving to school to pick up PinkGirl.
Because I’ve been going to this family owned shop since 1996, they know me by name. No paperwork for me to fill-out when I dropped off the tire. Since I bought the tires from them and I have road hazard protection, no invoice to pay when I picked it up.
Sweet.
oh. and THEY couldn’t figure out where the spare was supposed to be stored either. That’s because it’s such a stupid location for a spare. Right now, it’s in the back of the van. FirstHusband? FavoriteSon? Thank you for putting my spare back for me. 
bummer. x2
This week, I learned where the spare tire is stored on a 2000 Honda Odyssey. Could have lived my whole life without learning that. What I DIDN’T learn? How to extract the tire from its storage location. Once I saw the diagram in the owner’s manual, I thanked God that my husband was not out of town and went back into the house while he taught FavoriteSon how to change a tire. I’ve previously engaged in that learning experience.
This week, I learned what happens when I forget to leave corn in the squirrel feeder for for the raccoons. They just pull the bird feeders up into the tree to empty them. I also learned that I can not fill the bird feeders when they are wedged up in the branches of a tree. I had already learned that corn is cheaper than birdseed.
Check out What I Learned Last Week!
To find out what others learned this week, check out What I Learned this Week hosted by Musings of a Housewife.
Check out more Wordless Wednesday posts over at 5 Minutes for Mom.
Word-Filled Wednesday: Romans 8:1-4
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
Romans 8:1-4 NIV
Here’s an excerpt of a devotional I wrote on this verse, entitled, never going to stop trying:
” . . . I can’t be a “first-class” Christian. What is that anyway?
I’m going to try to follow Christ. And in this “striving” Mr. Griffith talks about, I have been able to see the sin in self-condemnation.
I will sin. Any minute now. I don’t know how, but I will. I’m human. And I don’t want to waste one minute berating myself. It’s as if Jesus is standing there, waiting on me, with scars on his hands and feet, asking me to come and I respond by saying:
“I’ll be there in a minute. I’m not finished punishing myself yet.”
If Jesus was actually physically standing there, I wonder if he would roll his eyes and say:
“You just don’t get it, do you? Come here. RIGHT NOW. Sit down. Let me explain Grace one more time.”
Instead of wasting time and devaluing Grace by berating myself, I need to sincerely repent, ask forgiveness and try again. I need – and want – to start striving again as soon as possible. Self-condemnation prevents me from doing that. Self-condemnation delays my striving.
I can’t be perfect. It’s just not possible. But I’m not going to let that stop me from trying to follow Christ. If I wander off the road, the Holy Spirit is my GPS. I will find the “right” road again. But I refuse to stand there, in the middle of the “wrong” road, whining about the fact that I got lost.
Again.”
To read the entire devotional, Click HERE.
Join in Word-Filled Wednesdays hosted by Amydeanne over at The 160 Acre Woods!
never going to stop trying
This post, entitled never going to stop trying, was originally published on Pragmatic Commotion on February 19, 2009. The comment exchange remains with the original post.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.And so he condemned sin in sinful man,in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
Romans 8:1-4 NIV
I love old books.
The dusty old book I picked up this week is entitled “What is a Christian” by A. Leonard Griffith, copyright 1962.
“First and foremost, Christianity is a relationship to a Person. In that sense it differs from great world religions like Judaism and Hinduism and it differs from Communism and other rival secular faiths that compete for men’s allegiance today. All these direct our loyalty to a theological system, a code of ethics, a philosophy or an ideology, but Christianity alone directs our loyalty to a Person. Where Christ is, there is Christianity, and the Christian is a person who tries to be a follower of Jesus Christ.
We say “tries” because no one succeeds perfectly. How very wrong to assume that either you must be a first-class Christian or else you have no right to call yourself a Christian at all. We should never adopt that attitude toward other things. We do not deny ourselves the privilege of education simply because we are not first-class scholars, or the pleasure of singing because we are not of concert calibre, or the enjoyment of knocking a golf ball because we lack professional skill.
The real zest in life lies not in achievement but in effort, not in having arrived, but in striving.”
What a humbling reminder. Being a Christian comes down to ONE thing. A relationship to a Person (with a capital “P”). It is this Person I fail when I sin, not myself. When I become disappointed or frustrated about not meeting my own expectations, I need to remember who it is I am really disappointing. If my goals are in line with God’s will, if my striving is to glorify God, whose “expectations” have I really failed when I sin?
I can’t be a “first-class” Christian. What is that anyway?
I’m going to try to follow Christ. And in this “striving” Mr. Griffith talks about, I have been able to see the sin in self-condemnation.
I will sin. Any minute now. I don’t know how, but I will. I’m human. And I don’t want to waste one minute berating myself. It’s as if Jesus is standing there, waiting on me, with scars on his hands and feet, asking me to come and I respond by saying:
“I’ll be there in a minute. I’m not finished punishing myself yet.”
If Jesus was actually physically standing there, I wonder if he would roll his eyes and say:
“You just don’t get it, do you? Come here. RIGHT NOW. Sit down. Let me explain Grace one more time.”
Instead of wasting time and devaluing Grace by berating myself, I need to sincerely repent, ask forgiveness and try again. I need – and want – to start striving again as soon as possible. Self-condemnation prevents me from doing that. Self-condemnation delays my striving.
I can’t be perfect. It’s just not possible. But I’m not going to let that stop me from trying to follow Christ. If I wander off the road, the Holy Spirit is my GPS. I will find the “right” road again. But I refuse to stand there, in the middle of the “wrong” road, whining about the fact that I got lost.
Again.
By no preachment can we really satisfy that earnest inquirer who asked,
“What is a Christian?” But I wonder if we could point him to someone we know,
someone who has responded to the Master’s call and who so tries to follow Jesus
that of him it might be said, “There goes a Christian.”
A. Leonard Griffith
UPDATE: Debbie’s comment caused me to rethink my wording – and prompted me to do a little research. Found an interesting video on youtube. A preacher talks about the idea of “disappointing God” being a lie. See my comment below Debbie’s for my thoughts on this.
can I change my answer?
Earlier today, I posted my response to the questions posted by Jules in her weekly Devout Devotions post. After a conversation with FirstHusband, I realized I didn’t answer the question:
“Do you think people should have to live with the consequences of their sins?”
In my post, entitled, “reputations and consequences” I said:
“Yes, and that applies to me too, not just “other” people. I’ve seen so many people try the ““Jake” thing from the Blues Brothers. (Go ahead. Click on the link, you’ll see what I’m talking about. It’s 24 seconds.) Seriously. I have no patience for that. Here’s something I’ve been heard to say frequently. “Own it.” And that applies to me, too. An example that immediately comes to my mind happened just over a year ago. I had what I described as one of the most stressful days I had in years. That afternoon, picked the kids up at school and after a few hours in my company, my son said, “Mom? Can I do ANYTHING right today?” ouch. I owned it and apologized big time. I HATE “owning it.” But when I do, I learn so much. Lessons learned to guard against future sins. Hopefully.”
See? I didn’t answer the question. Taking responsibility for sin and suffering the consequences of our sin are two completely different things. My answer focused on taking responsibility for sin. And in that sense, I’m NOT changing my answer. I still believe I should take responsibility for my sin. No excuses.
But do I think people should have to live with the consequences of their sins? No. And I thank God for that. I thank God for boundless grace. The reason Christ came to earth in the first place was to prevent us from facing the consequences of our sin. Why should that be limited to the ultimate consequence?
Admittedly, there are times when facing the consequences of our sin is a means to change our direction when we otherwise wouldn’t. A glaring example would be people who break the law and rightfully suffer the consequences of their actions through our legal system. I believe that any time we face the consequence of our sin, we deserve it. But I pray and thank God for Grace. I pray and thank God for those times when restoration comes without the need to face the consequences of my sin. I welcome His discipline and guidance in any form, but much like my kids, I prefer that teaching and guidance come without pain. And just as I, as their mother, decide whether my kids should receive punishment for bad behavior or receive grace from me, I believe the decision to allow me to suffer the consequences of MY sin or receive Grace should be left to my Heavenly Father.
reputations and consequences
Jules over at Everyday Mommy has begun Devout Devotions, a weekly exchange where
“women encourage one another to:
1. Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ
2. Devote themselves to observation, interpretation and application of God’s Word in their lives
3. Encourage God-centered behavior and thought”
She posted this week’s questions on Wednesday and I’ve been rolling them around in my head for a few days. Let’s see what comes out through my fingertips as I try to organize my thoughts:
1. Before you begin a new activity for the Lord, what questions should you ask yourself ? “Is this really for God?” “Is this in line with my stated goals for my family and my life?” “Am I being pressured into saying yes when I should say no?” “Is this activity a stepping stone to something else?” “If I say yes to this, what else will I have to give up or say no to later?”
2. Whose reputation matters most to you–yours or God? How do your actions show this? It depends on where I am in my relationship with God.
If I am close to Him, it is His reputation. I have an acute awareness that my actions are a witness. I remember that what I do reflects upon him. To simplify it, when my kids have gone somewhere in their school uniform, or when FavoriteSon went somewhere in his scout uniform, the grown-ups always reminded the kids that because they were dressed in clothing that identified them with those organizations, people would look at what they did as a representation of those organizations. Simple, I know. But the relationship make sense to me.
But. If I am not close to him (and it is always ME who moves away), my honest answer is that my reputation matters more. I don’t believe it is because I want people to like me. I’m not what you might call a people pleaser. I’ve long since given up on gaining approval or love by meeting other’s expectations. That’s a big ol’ waste of my time. What I do know about myself is that much of my self-confidence comes from the power of knowledge and competence. So if I fail – if I erode my credibility through that failure and my reputation takes a hit, I do NOT like it. This is true if I fail in public or private. Sure, some of my self-confidence comes from other’s awareness of my knowledge and competence in certain areas. But, I’ve also come to realize that just as much of my self-confidence comes from ME being aware of my knowledge and competence in certain areas. So, when I fail or sin and I’m the only one who knows about it, my credibility with ME is eroded. And I do NOT like it. But again, that’s when I’m focused on me, not God, so thankfully and by His grace, that isn’t all the time.
3. The majority of culture rebel against God, at home, work and even church. How can you stand against this tide? This one is a little easier to answer. I don’t try to gain approval by meeting other’s expectations. Is that a nice way of saying that I don’t give a flying flip what mainstream culture thinks about how I live my life? How I guide and raise my children? I can live with that. No apologies here for living what I believe.
4. Do you think people should have to live with the consequences of their sins? What does God think about this?
First question: Yes, and that applies to me too, not just “other” people. I’ve seen so many people try the ““Jake” thing from the Blues Brothers. (Go ahead. Click on the link, you’ll see what I’m talking about. It’s 24 seconds.) Seriously. I have no patience for that. Here’s something I’ve been heard to say frequently. “Own it.” And that applies to me, too. An example that immediately comes to my mind happened just over a year ago. I had what I described as one of the most stressful days I had in years. That afternoon, picked the kids up at school and after a few hours in my company, my son said, “Mom? Can I do ANYTHING right today?” ouch. I owned it and apologized big time. I HATE “owning it.” But when I do, I learn so much. Lessons learned to guard against future sins. Hopefully.
Second question: What does God think about this? Immediately I remembered a devotional I wrote last year and the exchange that followed. Elle and Debbie had some comments really made sense.
Find more responses to this weeks questions over at Devout Devotions hosted by Jules at Everyday Mommy
539 out of 200
This post, entitled 539 out of 200, was originally published on Pragmatic Commotion on February 19, 2009.
yep. I said that right. That would be 539 text messages on a plan that allows for 200 per month. And the month wasn’t even half over.
FavoriteSon and FirstHusband went on a field trip to Washington DC last week and while the students weren’t allowed to talk to each other on their phones, they were allowed to text each other. Just for the fun of it, when they got back, I got online to check FavoriteSon’s usage.
Voice Minutes Used: 8 (and he didn’t even call his mother)
Text Messages: 539
That was February 14th and the billing cycle ends in March.
So after a little family pow wow, I got on the phone and increased his text message to 1,500 for an extra $10 per month. Back dated to include the 539 messages so he won’t have to pay 10 cents for each one over 200.
Because he’s 13. And communicating with his peers. Which he wasn’t really doing so much last year. Before the contact lenses. and the clear skin. and the cool hair. and the team sports. and he’s a good kid, who gets good grades and does his chores. most of the time. and is sweet to his baby sister. some of the time.
Besides. He’s paying for it.
The rules? We’re making them up as we go along, but so far:
1. This rule was instituted the day he got his phone: No phone in the bedroom at night.
2. We get to look at his text messages. If we ask, he allows us. (he can read mine too)
3. He promises he will not text anyone anything their parents will need to call us about.
4. No texting during homework or family meals.
5. He doesn’t forward chain texts & tells his friends to stop sending them.
6. He has to check his own minutes and self-regulate.
He is very motivated to keep these rules. He’s eligible for an upgrade.
What teenager cell phone/texting rules have worked for you?
freedom to be different.
Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]
Colossians 3:21 The Amplified Bible
My daughter is a free spirit.
She sings. Loud. She sings Disney princess songs and hymns. Praise songs and jingles. She sings her own personal compositions. Sometimes they rhyme, sometimes not. Her own songs are l-o- n-g. She sings about everything. Love. Jesus. Her Heart. Disney. Sometimes she throws in a line about gross bodily functions before cracking herself up because it is SO hysterically funny. (She’s 7.) She sings in the car and doesn’t care who stares. She will climb to the top of a playground structure and sing her songs to an audience in the sky. She doesn’t care if people can hear her. She wants people to hear her.
Please don’t tell her to be quiet.
She dances. She twirls. She vogues. She bounces. She skips. She runs when and where there is open space. She swings. HIGH. She calls out “Watch me!” and wants me to take her picture. This is what happy looks like.
Please don’t tell her to sit still.
She loves to dress up. She can’t watch “Annie” without pausing the DVD player for multiple costume changes. She “invents” outfits and hairstyles. She wears prints with stripes, pink with orange and mismatched socks for “flair.” She loves lipstick and jewelry. She loves pink. Not pastel pink. PEPTO pink! BOLD pink.
Please don’t “correct” her wardrobe selections.
She loves to perform. The fireplace hearth is her stage. She wrote a play when she was in pre-kindergarten. She sat in a chair for hours on a Friday night, writing on one piece of paper after another. When it was all said and done, written on each piece of paper were the lines of each character in her play. When I typed it up for her later, she knew immediately which paper to read from next as she dictated the dialog for me. The spelling was creative, but the play was complete with a hero, a villain, a quest, and lots of songs to sing.
Please don’t tell her to “act like the other kids.”
She finds wonder in so many things. A lizard hiding in the grass. A crushed acorn. The shape of a cloud. She can’t go for a walk around the block without stopping every few feet to pick up a leaf, pet a neighbor’s cat or point out something interesting. She wants to see everything and go everywhere. And she wants to tell you all about it. Because it’s made such an imprint on her, she believes she should share it.
Please don’t make absentminded comments when she’s talking to you. She’s smart. She knows.
Don’t get me wrong. She’s not wild and undisciplined. She understands that she should whisper in a library, sit quietly attentive and respectfully listen to her teachers in class, and wear her uniform to school. She understands that sometimes she needs to follow directions instead of direct her own elaborate scripts. She knows to share and to take something she finds to lost and found. She knows that if we forget to pay for the case of soda under the grocery cart, that we are going back inside the store to make it right. She knows proper manners for the using the phone, how to handle a laptop computer and how to carry scissors. She understands that she can’t break out of line at school to chase a lizard or twirl. She knows not to run in a parking lot and to look both ways before she crosses the street. She knows to wear shorts under her skirts so no one can see “London” and that she can’t wear makeup to school and church. She even knows the only time her belly button should show in public is when she is wearing a bathing suit.
What she doesn’t know yet is that someday she may be too embarrassed to express herself “out loud” like she does now. She hasn’t spent time with “that” person. You know, the person who will try to convince her that her free and confident self-expression is inappropriate or wrong. The person who will introduce doubt and self-consciousness.
I pray that when faced with that person – that criticism – she is confident enough to stand strong and be herself. I refuse to silence her just because of what other people might think. I refuse to force her to wear what I think she should or tell her that she should only wear two braids, instead of six. I refuse to make her sit down when there’s no reason she can’t run. I refuse to squelch her spirit – just because it’s different than mine.
Sometimes it looks like she is dancing without music. She’s not. The music is in her heart. We can hear it if we just listen.
Dr. Tim Kimmel
Grace Based Parenting
This devotional, entitled “freedom to be different.” was originally posted on Pragmatic Communion on February 19, 2008. It was inspired by the book, Grace-Based Parenting
ch ch ch changes.
I’ve decided to make some changes here at Pragmatic Compendium. I’m going to make it more of a compendium. Here are the changes:
1. I’m going to be republishing existing content from my other blogs into Compendium, so that this will be a one stop shop for all my posts. I’m doing this for a few reasons. First, I frequently can’t find my own posts because I can’t remember where I put them. Secondly, the stats from the other blogs don’t show much traffic from Compendium, so my readers are missing my posts. Compendium is only part of who I am. There’s more!
2. I’m going to keep the other blogs too and continue to publish in them. Every time I post in one of my other blogs, I will publish the exact same content in Compendium too.
Why not just put everything in Compendium and do away with the other blogs?
- The other blogs do get traffic, just not much from Compendium. Most traffic comes from subscription services/readers and search strings.
- Pragmatic Communion is JUST for devotions. By still publishing in Communion, readers who only want to read the devotions don’t have to wade through everything else to find them.
- Pragmatic Commotion is JUST for family stuff. Kid stories and quotes, photos, stuff like that. By still publishing in Commotion, friends and family who want to keep up with my family life don’t have to wade through everything else to find things only related to my family. I might not publish all the kid/family photos on Compendium. I’m not sure yet.
- Pragmatic Communication is JUST about communication: talking, writing, reading, and listening. I’m revamping my business website and will be linking to communication “articles” in Pragmatic Communication. My communication clients want to read about communication tips without wading through recipes, my favorite youtube clips and everything else unrelated to communication.
- Pragmatic Computing (my first blog, by the way) is JUST for computer tips and troubleshooting. It is also linked from my business website and my computer clients like to find computer tips without (again) wading through everything else.
3. I’ll be changing the sidebar widgets to remove the links to the last three posts on each of my other blogs. Since the content will already be within Compendium, readers don’t need to see the last three entries on those blogs. I will instead have a single link to each of the other blogs in the sidebar, in case readers want to JUST see devotions, or family stuff, or communication articles, or computer tips.
4. I think I will be removing links TO Compendium which currently appear in my other blogs. That means there will be no clear path BACK to Compendium when someone clicks over to one of the other blogs from here. However, ALL links from Compendium to the other blogs will open in a new window or tab, leaving the Compendium page open. My reasoning for this one?
- Communication and Computing? Clients don’t need to read such personal stuff about me. It makes things awkward for them. When I get to know a client better, I tell them about Compendium. I got a new client last week. A 64 year old man. He really doesn’t want to stumble upon my hysterectomy woes. Neither do I want him to. Talk about awkward.
- Communion – I haven’t decided whether to link back to Compendium yet. I think I’ll leave that two way clicking path available.
- Commotion? I will set all comments on Commotion to be approved before they appear.
5. I’m beefing up the categories and tags on all the blogs to, hopefully, make it easier for me readers to find posts about certain topics.
6. I haven’t decided how my menu bar at the top will change, but it will. (I’m open to suggestions.)
I LOVE my template, so it will NOT change.
So here’s a call for feedback! What else should I consider? What other changes should I make? What changes should I NOT make?
Then Sings My Soul Saturday: Susan Ashton
I’ve been flashing back to the 80′s with my TSMSS posts recently, but this week, I’m not going back quite that far. Actually, “So Far: The Best Of Susan Ashton
LOVE this message. And WHERE IS SHE NOW?!
For more Saturday music, check out Then Sings My Soul Saturday every Saturday hosted by Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders.
New to Compendium? Peruse my topics & my “little known facts” page to see if we have anything in common, watch a short video of my testimony or check out my website, vocal samples or speaking samples.
Feel free to steal my ideas, ponder my musings, disagree with my rants, jump on my bandwagon, read my favorite books, comment, email me, or just lurk. Whatever works for you.
Fitness Log: April
April Totals as of 4/3
HIIT Incline Days: 2
HIIT Incline Miles: 7.5
HIIT Incline Hours: 2.5
Strength Training/Yoga Days: 1
Forearm Planks: 2Recent Comments
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