pretend I said words out loud.
Took FavoriteSon to Walgreens for a rapid strep test yesterday afternoon.
NursePractitioner: “So, what’s going on?”
FavoriteSon: “I think I have strep. I woke up around 3:00 this morning and my throat was killing me.”
NP: A sore throat doesn’t necessarily mean strep.”
Me: He’s correctly diagnosed himself the last two times he got strep.”
NursePractitioner: “We’ll see.”
A few minutes later…
Me: “We doubled him up on ibuprofen to get him through the night.”
NursePractitioner: “He could have had a GI bleed in the middle of the night.”
Me: “I’ve had multiple surgeries and doubled up on ibuprofen for days after my percoset ran out. We gave him one double dose.”
NP: “He’s right. He has strep.”
FavoriteSon gave each other the “we told her so” look.
NP: I’m giving him a prescription for penicillin.”
Me: “Can you prescribe a Z-Pack instead?”
NP: Most people are immune to Z-Packs now.”
Me: Our family physician usually prescribes a Z-Pack for him when he gets strep. It’s been very effective.”
NP: “Why didn’t you just go to your family doctor?”
Me: “Because it’s Sunday afternoon.”
NP: “Well, I don’t want him to have to come back when it doesn’t work.”
Me: “Oh, we wouldn’t come back HERE.” (to myself)
Me: “Is this twice a day for ten days?
NP: “Three times a day for ten days.”
Me: THREE times a day? Two times a day is challenging enough. I know us, we won’t finish it. We’ll forget. We always finish a Z-pack.”
NP: I’m prescribing the three times a day for 10 days. If you forget a dose, just double up.
Me: “Pretend I spoke words out loud.” (to myself)
NP: “You might want to think about having his tonsils out.”
Me: “shhh. You’ve lost all credibility with me now.” (to myself)
Later, when my family doc called me back…
Me: “So do I fill the 3 times a day, 10 day penicillin or do you want to call in a Z-pack?”
FavoriteDoc: “No. I”ll call one in as soon as we hang up. But keep the penicillin script in case you get a toothache. That’s about all it’s good for.”
I LOVE our family doctor. He even called me back to tell me the pharmacy was closing in an hour.