sarcasm: religious and political poison.

Reading too much on the internet today and keep thinking one thing: Sarcasm is an ineffective persuasive technique. It's condescending, arrogant, divisive and shuts down dialog. It's too often used by people in a manner to indicate that an issue is simple and anyone who doesn't see the simplicity and logic of their side of … Continue reading sarcasm: religious and political poison.

the positive impact of negative feedback.

I've known for a very long time that I'm different. Not "better" different. Because, really, "better" is relative. Better than what? The comparisons are limitless. and I'm thinking at least 50% of them wouldn't be pretty. "Different" can imply too much trouble. too much work. weird. tiresome. exasperating. I don't deny those adjectives. They're not … Continue reading the positive impact of negative feedback.

“Christ-centered Church.” I do not think it means what you think it means.

This is the 9th post of a series. CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series. oh, go ahead. click the youtube video. It's 7 seconds. Lemme 'splain. No, there is too much. Lemme sum up. When I talk about "preaching Christ" I am NOT talking about preaching "everybody is … Continue reading “Christ-centered Church.” I do not think it means what you think it means.

Jesus said turn the other cheek. He didn’t say I had to stand within smack radius.

"so, have you spoken to them about their behavior?" That was the question I was asked after publishing my post entitled "you see the big hat too . . . right?" (For those who don't have time to read that post, here's the twitter version: "passive-aggressive narcissist. boundaries, distance & prayer. attempted normal relationship. failed. … Continue reading Jesus said turn the other cheek. He didn’t say I had to stand within smack radius.

you see the big hat too . . . right?

Ever try to describe the behavior of a passive-aggressive person to someone else? Inevitably, you come off sounding petty. And a little crazy. There's disbelief: "No way. That doesn't seem like them." There's doubt: "Are you sure? Maybe you misunderstood." There's advice: "You should talk to them about it. They probably have no idea you … Continue reading you see the big hat too . . . right?

I’m going to stop being discouraged and be awesome instead. True Story.

I haven't exactly been sad. But I'll admit. For the last few weeks, I've been discouraged. I found myself in the middle of a new work group dynamic and the results have been . . . discouraging. Actually, it's an old dynamic that I allowed to resurface. I should have known better. I can't be … Continue reading I’m going to stop being discouraged and be awesome instead. True Story.

step away from the puppy.

Warning: Sometimes, emotional bullies wear puppy suits. wounded puppy suits. And when you pay attention to them, the whimpering doesn't get softer, it gets louder. and louder and louder... They require more and more of your time and attention. You can't make them happy. You aren't the reason they're UNhappy. But if you don't give … Continue reading step away from the puppy.

desensitized.

I'm not one to avoid conflict. I've found that, much too often, constant unanimous agreement results in substandard ideas and dispassionate forward motion. Confrontation doesn't scare me. I don't avoid conflict because I'm afraid of the person I need to confront or the possible repercussions of the confrontation. That said, there are some situations in … Continue reading desensitized.

Dear PinkGirl: don’t copy me.

There’s a certain person in my daughter’s life, who if she allows it, erodes her joy. I’ll call her TheBully. Without getting into detail, I'll just say that her behavior toward PinkGirl is often passive-aggressive. Every day after school, PinkGirl tells me what TheBully did that day. And every day, PinkGirl and I talk about … Continue reading Dear PinkGirl: don’t copy me.

don’t eat the marshmallow. yet.

Writing about "Don't Eat The Marshmallow" today. LOVE these kids. (the premise is that children who are capable of delayed gratification are more "successful" than children who can't delay gratification. The test? Give a kid a marshmallow and tell them they can eat it - BUT if they can wait 10-15 minutes, they can have … Continue reading don’t eat the marshmallow. yet.