jello ain’t cuttin it.

I’m. HUNGRY. I learned that a pre-op clear liquid diet is . . . challenging. It’s only 4 pm and I swear, if I pass anyone eating anything, anywhere, I am not responsible for my actions. If you have food, BACK. AWAY. I’m going to have to leave the house just so my children can eat the frozen dinners I bought for them earlier this week – when I was allowed to eat food.

Although I HAVEN’T learned it yet, I keep telling myself that, on Friday, when I have stitches across my abdomen, I will be SO glad I stuck to this #$%^&* clear liquid diet. Did I mention I’m hungry?

I learned that my hair stylist has no idea how I like my hair. It’s big and FEATHERED. All I’m missing are high top Reboks, scrunch socks and turquoise eyeliner. Thank goodness I have time to wash it before tomorrow.

I learned that my OLD Oster blender pitcher works better than my NEW Oster blender pitcher. The new one almost immediately forms an air pocket around the blades and I have to stop the blender, pop the air pocket by stirring and then continue blending. Yesterday the new pitcher was dirty and I used one of the old (interchangeable) pitchers. Worked PERFECT.

I learned that I HATE the smell of lavender essential oil. I had my pain relief massage Monday and the massage therapist was out of eucalyptus oil (my FAVORITE). I said OK to the lavender because it’s supposed to be the most relaxing. Within 20 minutes I was coughing and she had to wipe it all off. yuck.

I learned (yet again) that I CANNOT have real flowers in my kitchen or my cats will jump onto the counter/table where they are NOT allowed to be, EAT the flowers and promptly puke up said flowers. Most often, on the kitchen counter. Monday, I came home to find partially digested flowers on the telephone (on the counter). ewwww. FirstHusband is saying “I told you so.” as he reads this.

I learned that when I don’t eat, I get cranky and sarcastic. What’s it to ya?

To find out what others learned this week, check out What I Learned this Week hosted by Musings of a Housewife.

9 thoughts on “jello ain’t cuttin it.

  1. Believe me, the less that’s in your system, the easier it will be post-op.

    Somehow I missed this is an abdominal hyst. I was thinking vag. So that sentence above? Bold it and all caps.

    And don’t forget to WALK, WALK, WALK. When you have gas, WALK. Even when you want to curl up and be still, WALK, WALK, WALK.

    I’ll be thinking ’bout ya. Will your husband blog us an update?

  2. I’m so glad to hear that your cats aren’t allowed on countertops. Those sneaky ones just need some kind of invite – I guess for yours it’s flowers. What a lovely gift you came home to.

    I was really hoping that you could somehow coast through these days without feeling hungry. Maybe by tomorrow your hunger won’t be nagging at you so much. Prayers to you though, I know this is tough. And prayers to your family for having to put up with you during these hunger days LOL

  3. I’ve been thinking about you all day today. I called you earlier to see if you wanted to get out and talk about anything other than surgery, liquid diets or stitches.

    I second Mocha with Linda’s walk, walk, walk theory. I didn’t do enough walking after my oophorectomy and paid for it dearly. It was awful, and it ended up including more stitches. 🙁

    Does pudding fall under a liquid diet?

  4. ack. I am just catching up on my blog reading and there you are all pre-hysterectomy mode and I have my biopsy tomorrow that tells us whether “YES WE ARE YANKING IT ALL RIGHT NOW” or “Well, you can wait a bit” and I have been trying to not think about it and make it all go away and now, now I know there are all sorts more things to dread than I had even imagined. What’s with all the walking? And why can’t you eat?

    Good point about the roots and pedicure.

    And I had forgotten about the IV. I hate the IV. And the blood pressure cuff.

    WHY OH WHY DO WE HAVE TO ENDURE THIS? Wasn’t the monthly curse enough?

    Some comfort I am.

  5. Julie’s FirstHusband here thanking all for prayers and best wishes. Julie is in the surgery now. She was hungry and had a little headache but she perked up significantly when they gave her the “twilight” (also known as the “happy”) drugs. This hospital is really nice and they are taking great care of her. I will post an update this evening.

    Thanks again for the prayers.

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