a little more pragmatic romance.

A few days ago, I highlighted (and heckled) the worst 10 romance ideas from the book “Random Acts of Romance: surprise and delight the one you love.”

To be fair, I also highlighted 10 “pragmatic” romance ideas I actually liked, promising to post more later.

It’s later.

Here are some more romance ideas I really liked:

“After a romantic dinner, retire to the roof and watch the stars.”

We can actually pull this one off very easily(although not tonight, it’s pouring. and 46 degrees, expected to drop.) We have a two story house and our bedroom window opens up to the roof. We can climb out and put out a blanket on the back of the roof, facing a pond and the woods and, if we time it right, the moonlight and stars. A bottle of wine, a few pillows. I like this idea. When it’s warmer.

“Find the same perfume or cologne you wore when you and your lover first met. Sprinkle it on generously, then greet your partner with a hug and a kiss when he gets home that night.”

FirstHusband just did this one – kinda. He used to wear a cologne called “Tuscany” when we were dating. A few days before Christmas, I said, ‘I wonder if they still make Tuscany.’ FirstHusband responded with a seemingly disinterested “I dunno.” Then he gave me a bottle for Christmas. He had already purchased it before I mentioned it. Sneaky.

“Talk about the little physical things that first attracted you to one another – like those deep blue eyes or that brilliant smile.”

Easy. Sounds like rooftop talk to me, dimples.

“Listen for clues to the things your lover likes, then surprise him by buying one of the things he describes or doing on of the things he mentions.”

hmmm. Like . . . a BOAT? okay. (Long time reader update: I know. We already own a boat. But . . . long story short? It is uneconomically repairable. So we actually own big flotation device with a bunch of non-working engine parts contained inside a motor housing. Technically, not a boat if we define “boat” as something we can take out on the water and actually go somewhere on purpose rather than float aimlessly until a sea tow boat comes to drag us back into port.)

“When she least expects it, look her straight in the eyes and tell her you love her.”

We tell each other I love you pretty often, but I like the unexpected thing. Like when PinkGirl puked on him after eating breakfast on a Disney cruise. That would have been a good time to say I love you. Hopefully a non-kid-vomit opportunity will present itself.

“Listen to the music or read the writers that your sweetheart enjoys, then surprise her by starting a conversation about them.” and

“Get two copies of a book, fiction or nonfiction, so you can both read and talk about it.”

We are reading a book together and talking with each other about it, with plans to read another book together after we finish this one. Not a surprise, but still good for the talking and closeness. The music is a little more difficult. We’ve had many conversations about this. We don’t really like the same type of music. Truth be told, the only time I think FirstHusband even listens to contemporary Christian music is when I rehearse or perform. That’s okay, because Willie Nelson or George Jones aren’t on my mp3 player.

We compromise a lot. We both like Lyle Lovett. (This is one of my favorites: “She’s No Lady . . . she’s my wife”)

“Tell your partner how many times you’ve fallen in love with her throughout the years – and what triggered your feelings each time.”

Countless. In twenty years of marriage? Two years of dating before that? Countless times.

Seeing PinkGirl ralph on him while he comforted her was one, for sure. Some men would have dropped the kid – or at least held them at arms length – or handed the spewing cutie to mom.

Watching him with his son, throwing footballs in the backyard until his shoulder ached. Watching him run basketball drills with his son until after dark. Watching him put together a basketball hoop in the RAIN at 2:30 in the morning on Christmas eve . . .

Reading aloud to me while I was recovering from surgery. Being my hands and feet while I was recovering. And it wasn’t the first time. That man has seen the worst of me.

“Tell your lover something flattering every day, whether it’s about the way she smells, the curve of his biceps, her beautiful eyes – whatever.”

“Every night, remind him of something he did that day that made you happy.”

Why haven’t I always done these two?

One thought on “a little more pragmatic romance.

  1. These are really good suggestions. Valentine’s can be quite the everyday holiday if these become the rapport of marriage.

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