pretend I said words out loud.

Took FavoriteSon to Walgreens for a rapid strep test yesterday afternoon.

NursePractitioner: “So, what’s going on?”

FavoriteSon: “I think I have strep. I woke up around 3:00 this morning and my throat was killing me.”

NP: A sore throat doesn’t necessarily mean strep.”

Me: He’s correctly diagnosed himself the last two times he got strep.”

NursePractitioner: “We’ll see.”

A few minutes later…

Me: “We doubled him up on ibuprofen to get him through the night.”

NursePractitioner: “He could have had a GI bleed in the middle of the night.”

Me: “I’ve had multiple surgeries and doubled up on ibuprofen for days after my percoset ran out. We gave him one double dose.”


NP: “He’s right. He has strep.”

FavoriteSon gave each other the “we told her so” look.

NP: I’m giving him a prescription for penicillin.”

Me: “Can you prescribe a Z-Pack instead?”

NP: Most people are immune to Z-Packs now.”

Me: Our family physician usually prescribes a Z-Pack for him when he gets strep. It’s been very effective.”

NP: “Why didn’t you just go to your family doctor?”

Me: “Because it’s Sunday afternoon.”

NP: “Well, I don’t want him to have to come back when it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Oh, we wouldn’t come back HERE.” (to myself)

Me: “Is this twice a day for ten days?

NP: “Three times a day for ten days.”

Me: THREE times a day? Two times a day is challenging enough. I know us, we won’t finish it. We’ll forget. We always finish a Z-pack.”

NP: I’m prescribing the three times a day for 10 days. If you forget a dose, just double up.

Me: “Pretend I spoke words out loud.” (to myself)

Me: “okay.”

NP: “You might want to think about having his tonsils out.”

Me: “shhh. You’ve lost all credibility with me now.” (to myself)

Me: “okay.”

Later, when my family doc called me back…

Me: “So do I fill the 3 times a day, 10 day penicillin or do you want to call in a Z-pack?”

FavoriteDoc: “No. I”ll call one in as soon as we hang up. But keep the penicillin script in case you get a toothache. That’s about all it’s good for.”

I LOVE our family doctor. He even called me back to tell me the pharmacy was closing in an hour.

2 thoughts on “pretend I said words out loud.

  1. I just ran across your page as I googled ‘am I tenacious or stubborn’…(Don’t ask). Imagine my surprise when I find that exact post. hmmmmm.
    I am intrigued by your postings, you are funny, sarcastic–but not mean. And a christian…YAY. I have never heard your voice or seen your face, but I think I know exactly what your expressions and voice are doing when you say certain things. This particular blog had me laughing. I can relate to this ‘I’m the patient (or patients mom) and therefore know NOTHING’.

    Great job and God bless!!

    1. Debbie – thanks so much for your comment! I tend to crack myself up, but there’s always a risk that someone will think I’m mean when I’m sarcastic. Hope to see you around again! (by JSM)

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