My newspaper subscription ran out. I know this because last week someone called to ask if I would like to renew it. Considering the labor intensive household task of carrying the newspaper from the driveway directly to the recycling bin has lost its appeal, I said “No thank you.”
The nice lady told me I would need to call another number and actually cancel the paper, she was just in sales.
okay, then.
So this week, another nice lady called to again tell me my newspaper subscription was expired. FirstHusband and I had talked a bit between these two “courtesy calls” and decided we really don’t mind getting the Sunday paper. It actually gets taken out of the bag and sifted through before laying around the house for a few days – BEFORE it goes into the recycling bin. Sometimes I even take Thursday’s paper out of the plastic bag to peruse the food section. Here’s how the conversation went:
Me: We don’t really want so many papers per week. Just Sunday is good.
Her: Well, you actually only pay for Sunday’s paper, the rest of your papers are free. It’s a really good deal. If you only get Sunday’s paper, you’ll still be paying the same amount.
Me: I realize that, but at this point, our free papers are causing us extra work on a daily basis. We have two soaking wet papers in the driveway right now.
Her: Oh.
(pause)
Her: Do you have any pets in the house?
(pause)
Me: You mean the kind of pets who might need shredded newspaper? . . . No.
Wait. Did the newspaper sales person just suggest that I use the newspaper for the direct purpose of letting my pet pee on it?
The newspaper industry is in serious trouble. I feel compelled to lend some assistance. If you don’t need any newspaper to soak up pet urine either, here are some more reasons to subscribe:
Maybe you could make this for your pet at Christmas. So festive!
We have recently started receiving the paper even though we never requested or paid for it. I called to have it stopped and the CS rep told me we were not receiving it. “Funny,” I said, “I have it in my hand and I’m not one to steal the paper from my neighbors.” She just laughed and told me to call back if I kept getting it. Helpful. Very helpful.
I think it would be easier to get a dog. Or a bird. Or a gerbil.
Or you could always start a lasagna garden. (http://organicgardening.about.com/od/startinganorganicgarden/a/lasagnagarden.htm)