I feel like I’m starting over.

I met with my writing mentor a just a few months after I began writing my book. She took a few minutes to go over my outline and her first comment was:

“I see more than one book here.”


She said I was trying to stuff everything I wanted to say in one book and it was just too much.

So I spent a few weeks restructuring my single existing book outline into four new outlines – and a few months moving content from my one existing word processing document into an appropriate location within four new documents. At that point, I had the beginnings of four books:

A book on Christian living,
a book on spiritual growth,
a book on Christian relationships
a book on Christian parenting.
(a few months ago, also I outlined a book on Christian conflict resolution)

Sounds so impressive, huh?

More like overwhelming. daunting.

So, I spent the next year or so (off and on – life gets intrusive) writing the book on Christian living. A few months into the process, I got bogged down in the content, took a giant step back and started a new document, making massive changes to the organization. I began copying the content from the old document into the new, with a totally new approach.

I felt like I was starting over.

Source: 27.media.tumblr.com via Julie on Pinterest

I continued writing and worked on the Christian living book for months and at this point, I’m more than halfway finished with it.

But in December, I hit a wall.

(And it was early December, nearly a month before my mother’s death, so I didn’t see a connection – maybe God was preparing me, but at that time, I didn’t see it)

Everything I wrote, I either deleted or set aside in a supplemental document named “notes.” More often than not, I didn’t write anything at all, but instead, sat with my fingers hovering over the home keys, staring blankly at the computer screen. After a few frustrating weeks of unproductive effort, I stopped writing altogether.

No idea was good. I was paralyzed. stuck. the dreaded writer’s block.

Then, last week, saturated in the awareness of impending life changes on multiple fronts, I spent some time staring blankly out the window instead of at the computer screen. I prayed a little and listened a LOT, begging God to direct me.

Let me just say right now: “Be careful what you pray for.”

fer cyrin out loud. no wonder.

I’ve been writing the wrong book.

I need to be working on the spiritual growth book first. By writing the book on Christian living, I was putting the cart before the horse. Without a reason for Christian living, what’s the point? There was no foundation. No motivation.

“Christian living” is empty and meaningless on its own.

So I’ve put the Christian living book away. Haven’t opened it in weeks. Yesterday, I finished the draft of the introduction to the spiritual growth book.

I feel like I’m starting over.

fer cryin out loud.

3 thoughts on “I feel like I’m starting over.

  1. Don’t think of it as starting over. Think of it as multitasking. Besides, why should you write books any different than you read them.

  2. But hey, once you finish the 1st one, you’ve got a great start on the 2nd!! 🙂

    Somewhere in me is a book, just waiting for the kids to grow up. I think it’s fiction, though!

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