thinking of self-confidence as understanding of yourself

Thinking of confidence not as a character trait but as a clear-eyed understanding of yourself puts you on the road to developing it.” from 101 Job Interview Questions You’ll Never Fear Again by James Reed

Two thoughts came to mind when I read this quote:

1. We devalue what we are good at.

When self-confidence isn’t part of our everyday, it can feel like hubris when we exercise it in our lives. But the fact is, for each of us, there are some concepts we’ve learned or just understand better than others do and/or there are tasks some of us are able to do more competently than others can do them.

For many, recognizing that fact isn’t intuitive.

Instead,

we tend to think that if something is easy for us, it’s easy.

For everyone.

For simple concepts or tasks, maybe.

Aaaannnd that takes us back to where I started: We have a tendency to think the stuff we’re good at IS simple.

We devalue ourselves and what we have to offer.

When we hold back what we offer because we don’t think it’s valuable, we not only cheat ourselves of opportunity, but we cheat others of our contribution.

2. If this quote has any foundation, then self-confidence is required for learning and growth.

When I train someone one-on-one in the use of software, I try to start where they are.

I always begin by asking them what prior training they’ve had, if any. I follow by asking them a few “how to” questions to determine their level of proficiency. I always explain my reasoning for the questions by telling them:

1. I don’t want to waste their time teaching them something they already know and
2. I don’t want to assume they know something when they don’t.

In life, as in computer training, even when we know where we want to go, it’s difficult – and sometimes impossible – to get there (or even plan the trip) if we don’t know where we ARE.

When we don’t know where we are,
if we don’t have confidence in our current stage of growth or
if our assessment of what’s in our current toolbox is inaccurate or incomplete.

we don’t know whether we have the resources, the prerequisites, to get to the next step or level, much less the final destination or goal.

We can stay stuck, thinking we aren’t prepared or ready to move forward.

BUT, if we have a clear-eyed understanding of ourselves, we know what we have to offer now

AND we have a sense of what we still need to learn.

just my two cents on #todaysread