This is one of my favorites:
A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table.
“Mind if I have a few?” he asks.
“Not at all.”
They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl.
“I’m so sorry! I ate all your peanuts!”
“Oh that’s all right,” the woman says. “Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them anyway.”