“My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:2 (NIV)
Are you at the door to an opportunity but haven’t taken the step through because you don’t have confidence in your ability to succeed?
Pray.
Make sure the opportunity is within the moral will of God as revealed to us in scripture.
Pray.
Seek counsel with wise and objective brothers and sisters in Christ who don’t have anything to lose or gain from your decision.
Pray.
Genuinely ask the Lord to exponentially increase your desire to move forward if the path IS within His will for you. Ask Him to pursue you relentlessly if it IS His will for you.
Genuinely ask Him to lessen and remove your conscious thoughts of this possible path if it ISN’T His will for you. Ask him to re-direct your thoughts to a different course of action if this one ISN’T His will for you.
Pray.
And then take action.
Don’t wait for Him to say “GO,” take one step after another while diligently and prayerfully watching for Him to say “NO.”
Remember, if you could do it alone, you wouldn’t need His help. Remember where your help comes from.
“The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)
One of the most difficult things I’ve experienced in my striving to follow God’s guidance in my life is when
I pray, persistently,
I seek wisdom from His word and from faith-filled brothers and sisters in Christ,
I “count the cost” and
I make a decision that I’m am confident is one that follows the leading of the Holy Spirit, a decision that – through all the dependent tasks and decisions leading up to it – is covered in God’s fingerprints.
And then the outcome is ab.so.flippin.lutely. HORRIBLE.
How does this happen?
WHY does this happen?
Because the outcome is only horrible from my point of view.
Sometimes, after making plans and following through, circumstances go as expected and everything makes sense.
Sometimes, after making plans and following through, circumstances exceed my hopes and expectations and even my imagination and I’m left in awe of what God can do when I have the courage and motivation to be obedient and if I don’t fight back or dig my heels in while I stand in His way.
Sometimes, after making plans and following through, circumstances tank.
Things go horribly wrong and I doubt my understanding of every single answer to prayer I received leading up to that moment. I doubt my ability to interpret what scripture taught me about my decision. I doubt the wise words from brothers and sisters in Christ.
I don’t doubt God. I’m confident HE got it right. I doubt myself. MY ability to get it right.
Sometimes, after circumstances tank,
(1) I immediately get to see how God redeems the situation, often through the unexpected benefit of someone else or someone being drawn closer to and more dependent on Christ.
Sometimes, after circumstances tank,
(2) I find out months or years later how God redeemed my “failure.”
Sometimes, after circumstances tank,
(3) God never shows me or tells me why.
I hate door number 3 the most.
I’ll admit, there have been seasons of my life where a “failure” has resulted in paralyzation. I’ve spent months bogged down in fear of making another “mistake.”
Prayer has been the antidote every time. Prayer leading to dependence on Christ through the Holy Spirit.
Will I make another “mistake?”
Count on it.
I may lie low for a while and regroup, but when I persist in prayer – not necessarily prayer for a “do-over” or for God to “fix” something – but prayer for God to draw me closer to Him, for Him to bless me with the ability to see people and the world through HIS greater perspective instead of from through my own limited limited and skewed vantage point, my courage is restored.
My confidence in Him overshadows my lack of confidence in myself.
The next decision presents itself and I face it with Him. I make plans, giving Him veto power. I make plans knowing the outcome isn’t up to me.
I’ll be honest. I don’t always like the outcome. But I make plans in faith, knowing His ways are higher than my ways.
“The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)
It’s January, time for new year’s resolutions and fresh starts. New goals. New plans.
I feel a metaphor coming on.
When I use my GPS to help me get somewhere, I not only have to set a destination, but I have to set my current location.
I don’t know about you, but in life, when I set a goal, I don’t intuitively take an honest, objective look at my current situation. Intellectually, I know that when I want to “go somewhere,” I need to have a clear and realistic understanding of where I am now, before I start trying to figure out how I’m going to get where I’m going. I wish I could say I always take stock of my current situation before I start.
But.
When I STOP and pray about a goal, when I ask God to show me if the goal is in line with His Word and if it’s a goal He even wants me to pursue, when I ask for His guidance on how to achieve it, when I ask Him to show me who and what I need to help me,
I see things much more clearly.
When I genuinely pray for Him to help me figure all that out, the Holy Spirit leads me to reflect, not just on my desires and plans, but also on where I am right now.
Sometimes, that means taking a long hard look in the mirror. An HONEST look. I don’t like seeing my weaknesses. They ain’t pretty. But I need to know the truth.
Sometimes God reveals it to me. Sometimes God uses people to reveal it to me. Sometimes the truth comes unsolicited and wrapped in emotionally charged language. I can dismiss the words because they were spoken in anger instead of “in love” but when I’m smart (and brave), I strip away the emotion and search the content for nuggets of truth.
Just because feedback is mean, doesn’t mean there isn’t some truth in it.
Sometimes, I need to give people permission to tell me the truth. Friends, acquaintances, experts, strangers…
When the only feedback someone ever gives me is positive, I usually say that person “blow rainbows.” Their feedback loses credibility with me. It’s statistically improbable that I’m great at everything I do.
Sometimes a friend who loves me will take me aside and tell me a hard truth. Sometimes I need to ask a friend what they think and give them permission – encourage them – to tell me the truth. Sometimes, I need to pay people. In my life, I’ve paid therapists and voice teachers to tell me the truth.
And then I need to be quiet and listen. Because my knee-jerk reaction is to explain how they are wrong. How they don’t understand. To try and get them to see things from MY point of view – the point of view I had before I asked for the feedback.
Then, I need to process what I hear. Investigate. Search my heart and the circumstances to determine if there’s truth in the feedback. I’m not the most objective person when it comes to evaluating my “current location.”
Are you making new goals? Pray and ask the Lord to show you your current location.
Four years ago, I was content to sing by myself. in the seclusion of my mini-van.
Leading worship never crossed my mind.
Four years ago, I was content to write a blog. about recipes and how to use a neti pot.
Writing a book never crossed my mind.
Four years ago, I was content to lead a monthly psuedo-Bible study. sitting in comfortable chairs in the living rooms of friends.
A speaking ministry never crossed my mind.
WHY?
Why did you allow me to go 4 years in this direction if it’s not the place you wanted me to be? How long do I have to stumble around in this mess I’ve made? How long till I figure out how to climb out of this pit? And how long after that will it take me to turn my face and feet towards next?
I have NO sense that these things I’ve been pursuing are from You.
I have NO confidence in my ability to figure out where to place my foot.
so I find myself unable to take a step.
I’m standing still.
paralyzed.
by the nagging thought that I have to let it go.
all of it.
And every time the thought crosses my mind, I cry.
SERIOUSLY.
cry?
dammit!
dammit. dammit. dammit.
I do NOT cry.
and it’s really starting to tick me off.
dammit!
Crying is a flippin WASTE of time. When I’m done, nothing has changed.
Except that I have a headache. and my mascara is shot.
And so I take the chicken walk.
If these desires are not from You – if they are, in fact, selfish – I’m asking you to TAKE them.
TAKEthemTAKEthemTAKEthem. I don’t want them.
LET. THEM. DIE.
DIE.
Painlessly would be my preference.
But part of me knows that if You really did allow these desires to grow over the last 4 years – only to get me to this place of recognition that I love them too much – you did it to teach me.
That I need to be satisfied in YOU, Jesus.
I need to find joy in YOU.
Leading worship isn’t enough.
Writing about You isn’t enough.
Telling people about You isn’t enough.
YOU are enough. You should be enough.
Part of me wonders.
knows.
That You’ve allowed me to go so far down this path because You needed me to be this wrecked about being so selfish.
Some say I’m under spiritual attack.
maybe.
if so, Satan’s doing a damn good job.
But I have to ask myself.
Am I being disciplined?
Am I being pruned?
Are these thoughts from You?
I can’t discount the possibility.
I can’t automatically assume that Satan is attacking me with doubt and discouragement.
Because You are sovereign, I believe nothing happens to me that You don’t allow.
double negative.
Is that what I’m being?
Right now, everything I see about this ministry I’ve been pursuing is about me. What I want. Me trying to manufacture something. If this is true, the hours I’ve wasted are incalculable. If this is true, I need to turn my back on this self-indulgent disobedience. And if this is true, it completely sucks. Because even after looking straight in the face of this possibility – even knowing I need You to be enough – without these dreams – I’m still mourning the death of them.
Lord, if I’m wrong, you’re going to have to show me.
Smack me upside the head.
because I don’t trust my judgement.
and I am SICK TO DEATH OF THE WHINING.
and seriously. I’m OVER the crying.
It is NOT working for me.
I don’t want to do it anymore.
“To say to Him that something else satisfies you more is the opposite of worship. It is sacrilege.” Desiring God by John Piper
CLICK HERE to see a listing of all the blog posts in this series “the search for Joy.”
“There is no neutral ground in the universe; every square inch, every split second is claimed by God and counterclaimed by Satan.” C.S. Lewis
Either I’m on track and Satan is ticked and trying to derail me,
or
I’m off track and God is relentlessly trying to get me to see that He’s answering my prayer for direction.
and so I pray.
because I desperately want to be claimed by God.
I can’t let the negative feedback of man push me to the bench to sit and do nothing, waiting for God to tell me what to do. I can’t let the negative feedback of man discourage me from my ministry, especially after experiencing what I sincerely believe was a powerful interchange of the Holy Spirit with God’s people. I can’t ignore the possibility that Satan is ticked and wants to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Since that big fat liar is no match for the Holy Spirit, he chooses to attack God’s people, planting doubt and sowing discouragement.
I’m going to stay diligent on my path until God slams into me like a linebacker and knocks me off of it.
I’m hardheaded that way.
Not by might, not by power, but by my spirit says the Lord. Zechariah 4:6
#memoryverse
by John Piper