#memoryverse Proverbs 16:9 ~ when things go “wrong.”

John Piper quote God is doing 10000 things#memoryverse

“The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

One of the most difficult things I’ve experienced in my striving to follow God’s guidance in my life is when

I pray, persistently,
I seek wisdom from His word and from faith-filled brothers and sisters in Christ,
I “count the cost” and
I make a decision that I’m am confident is one that follows the leading of the Holy Spirit, a decision that – through all the dependent tasks and decisions leading up to it – is covered in God’s fingerprints.

And then the outcome is ab.so.flippin.lutely. HORRIBLE.

How does this happen?

WHY does this happen?

Because the outcome is only horrible from my point of view.

Sometimes, after making plans and following through, circumstances go as expected and everything makes sense.

Sometimes, after making plans and following through, circumstances exceed my hopes and expectations and even my imagination and I’m left in awe of what God can do when I have the courage and motivation to be obedient and if I don’t fight back or dig my heels in while I stand in His way.

Sometimes, after making plans and following through, circumstances tank.
Things go horribly wrong and I doubt my understanding of every single answer to prayer I received leading up to that moment. I doubt my ability to interpret what scripture taught me about my decision. I doubt the wise words from brothers and sisters in Christ.

I don’t doubt God. I’m confident HE got it right. I doubt myself. MY ability to get it right.

Sometimes, after circumstances tank,

(1) I immediately get to see how God redeems the situation, often through the unexpected benefit of someone else or someone being drawn closer to and more dependent on Christ.

Sometimes, after circumstances tank,

(2) I find out months or years later how God redeemed my “failure.”

Sometimes, after circumstances tank,

(3) God never shows me or tells me why.

I hate door number 3 the most.

I’ll admit, there have been seasons of my life where a “failure” has resulted in paralyzation. I’ve spent months bogged down in fear of making another “mistake.”

prayer can never be in excess SpurgeonPrayer has been the antidote every time. Prayer leading to dependence on Christ through the Holy Spirit.

Will I make another “mistake?”

Count on it.

I may lie low for a while and regroup, but when I persist in prayer – not necessarily prayer for a “do-over” or for God to “fix” something – but prayer for God to draw me closer to Him, for Him to bless me with the ability to see people and the world through HIS greater perspective instead of from through my own limited limited and skewed vantage point, my courage is restored.

My confidence in Him overshadows my lack of confidence in myself.

The next decision presents itself and I face it with Him. I make plans, giving Him veto power. I make plans knowing the outcome isn’t up to me.

I’ll be honest. I don’t always like the outcome. But I make plans in faith, knowing His ways are higher than my ways.

#memoryverse Proverbs 16:9 ~ give people permission to tell you the truth.

Courage Dear Heart C S Lewis#memoryverse

“The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

It’s January, time for new year’s resolutions and fresh starts. New goals. New plans.

I feel a metaphor coming on.

When I use my GPS to help me get somewhere, I not only have to set a destination, but I have to set my current location.

I don’t know about you, but in life, when I set a goal, I don’t intuitively take an honest, objective look at my current situation. Intellectually, I know that when I want to “go somewhere,” I need to have a clear and realistic understanding of where I am now, before I start trying to figure out how I’m going to get where I’m going. I wish I could say I always take stock of my current situation before I start.

But.

When I STOP and pray about a goal,
when I ask God to show me if the goal is in line with His Word and if it’s a goal He even wants me to pursue,
when I ask for His guidance on how to achieve it,
when I ask Him to show me who and what I need to help me,
I see things much more clearly.

When I genuinely pray for Him to help me figure all that out, the Holy Spirit leads me to reflect, not just on my desires and plans, but also on where I am right now.

rose colored glassesSometimes, that means taking a long hard look in the mirror. An HONEST look. I don’t like seeing my weaknesses. They ain’t pretty. But I need to know the truth.

Sometimes God reveals it to me.
Sometimes God uses people to reveal it to me.
Sometimes the truth comes unsolicited and wrapped in emotionally charged language. I can dismiss the words because they were spoken in anger instead of “in love” but when I’m smart (and brave), I strip away the emotion and search the content for nuggets of truth.

Just because feedback is mean, doesn’t mean there isn’t some truth in it.

Sometimes, I need to give people permission to tell me the truth. Friends, acquaintances, experts, strangers…

When the only feedback someone ever gives me is positive, I usually say that person “blow rainbows.” Their feedback loses credibility with me. It’s statistically improbable that I’m great at everything I do.

Sometimes a friend who loves me will take me aside and tell me a hard truth.
Sometimes I need to ask a friend what they think and give them permission – encourage them – to tell me the truth.
Sometimes, I need to pay people. In my life, I’ve paid therapists and voice teachers to tell me the truth.

And then I need to be quiet and listen. Because my knee-jerk reaction is to explain how they are wrong. How they don’t understand. To try and get them to see things from MY point of view – the point of view I had before I asked for the feedback.

Then, I need to process what I hear. Investigate. Search my heart and the circumstances to determine if there’s truth in the feedback. I’m not the most objective person when it comes to evaluating my “current location.”

Are you making new goals? Pray and ask the Lord to show you your current location.

and “Courage, dear heart.”

#memoryverse Proverbs 16:9 ~ Plan B

Plan B#memoryverse

“The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

I had such a great plan. I had prayed and I thought God had answered with a big ol’ “YES!”

and then things started to fall apart.

What do you do when a plan begins to fall apart? I’ve tried to force circumstances before. To create situations and opportunities. To manipulate them. To push them.

It’s taken me decades, but I’ve learned that my efforts are only effective when God intervenes. Especially when a plan requires more than one person to accomplish it.

I find myself thinking of Nehemiah. He didn’t rebuild the wall all by himself. And he wasn’t the one who convinced the king to allow him – to actually help him – rebuild the wall. After finding out the wall had been torn down, the first thing Nehemiah did was pray:

“O Lord, please hear my prayer!…Please grant me success today by making the king favorable to me. Put it into his heart to be kind to me.”

After praying, Nehemiah didn’t say anything to the king at all. He had prayed and he trusted God to answer. He waited. He continued doing the work he was supposed to do.

The king noticed there was something wrong. Was he just a perceptive man? Or did God make him aware there was a problem?

The king asked Nehemiah what was wrong. He made a few guesses, but not assumptions. He didn’t presume to know. He asked. Was he just a curious man? Or did God prompt him to ask?

Nehemiah told him what was troubling him, but didn’t ask the king to do anything for him. Why not? He could have just asked the king for what he wanted right then. But he didn’t. He waited on the Lord. He had prayed and he trusted God to answer.

And the king said, “How can I help you?” Was he just a kind and compassionate man? Or did the Lord “put it into his heart” to help Nehemiah?

Back to Nehemiah. A powerful king just asked him “How can I help you?” Did Nehemiah blurt out his request? It’s interesting to me that the question and Nehemiah’s first response are both contained in one verse. The actual request follows in the next verse:

4 The king asked, “Well, how can I help you?” With a prayer to the God of heaven,
5 I replied, “If it please the king, and if you are pleased with me, your servant, send me to Judah to rebuild the city where my ancestors are buried.”

Nehemiah didn’t say a word without God. He knew that the king would only say yes if God willed it.

That story has changed the way I approach problems and decisions. If a plan requires other people to accomplish it and God wants the plan accomplished, God will “put it into their heart.” When he doesn’t do that, I have a choice. Do I push through anyway?

or do I start praying about Plan B?

#memoryverse Proverbs 16:9 ~ send me.

Send Me I trust You Lord#memoryverse

“The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

When I ask Him to allow me to serve Him more, when I ask Him to “send me” I have to trust that

sometimes, He sends me and doesn’t let me in on the reason why.

sometimes, I get exactly what I’ve prayed for – He allows me to serve Him more – and I don’t even realize it.

sometimes, He allows me to be a part of His story while not allowing me to read that part of the book.

My obedience doesn’t need to follow my understanding and it doesn’t need a promise that understanding will follow my obedience.

The only prerequisite is prayer.

And prayer needs to be the FIRST thing I do, not the last resort after I’ve tried everything else.

#memoryverse Proverbs 16:9 ~ trust or do not trust.

Trust or Do Not Trust there is no middle ground#memoryverse

“The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

I can pray and ask God for what I want and/or think I need to achieve my goals, but in the end, He is all-knowing and all-powerful. I either trust His sovereignty in EVERY situation or I don’t.

No middle ground.

He knows what is best and He has the power to make ANYthing happen.

When I live grounded in that awareness, disappointment doesn’t form a pit in my stomach like it does when my mind is relentlessly plagued with multiple scenarios of “what ifs.” I know my current situation is a result of God’s providence.

Sometimes, my disappointments are actually His protection, preparation or redirection.

When I COMMIT my will to Him and GENUINELY trust Him to lead me in His way,

He will.

He does.

He has.

#memoryverse Proverbs 16:9 ~ plan, prepare, trust, follow & wait.

Proverbs 16 9 cover#memoryverse

“The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

I can do everything I know to plan and prepare,
but in the end, the result is not up to me.

I need to pray and seek wisdom and be a diligent steward of the gifts and talents God has blessed me with,
but in the end, GOD is all powerful and nothing happens to me that He doesn’t will or allow.

Sometimes He allows stuff I don’t particularly like.

Sometimes He works a miracle in the middle of an impossible situation.

Remember. God is Sovereign.

When you live grounded in that truth, the pressure to force circumstances is lifted. When you are confident that God is in control, you can experience peace in the middle of trial.

Ask God to help you practice His presence in your moments and your days. Ask Him to help you make wise decisions as you strive to be a good steward of your relationships, your time, your body, your money and your stuff. Love God and Love others.

Don’t stay still, waiting for Him to say GO.
Take the first step and stop if He says “no.”

Be open to His course corrections and detours.

Remember. His ways are not our ways.

and His timing is perfect.

I made a mistake.

only mistake is one from which we learn nothingI’ve been telling a story.

My mistake was that I started at the beginning. I should have started by stating my premise and then worked my way backward.

I attempted to chronicle what God had revealed to me and how. Telling the story in the order the events took place was not a good idea.

Terrible idea.

The only people who understood what I was getting at were people who already recognized what I was describing.

A few people who didn’t understand what I was getting at – and wanted to understand what I was getting at – either asked to meet with me or sent me a personal message and we talked through it.

Thank GOD for them. They have been a blessing and an encouragement while providing accountability.

But there have also been a few who didn’t understand. There have been some who summarized 10 blog posts with “she criticized the pastor” and/or “she wants there to be an invitation at the end of every sermon” and tawked amongst themselves, spreading unfounded gossip.

That’s unfortunate. and sad.

I can’t fix that. It would wear me out to even try. Instead, I’m praying the people hearing that summary won’t take someone else’s word for it and will want to see for themselves. I’m praying that those people will seek out my blog for firsthand information and that, as they read the posts, the Holy Spirit will guide them as they form their own individual thoughts about what I’ve written.

There are some people who are reading, taking it all in and are quietly pondering. I love me some thinkers. I’m praying that the Holy Spirit moves in their lives to draw them into an even deeper, more intimate relationship with Christ as they work through what they themselves believe about all that I’ve said.

Some people don’t give a flying flip what Julie Mills thinks.

I expected all of those responses. But some things I didn’t anticipate.

I didn’t anticipate that assumptions would be made about what God had revealed to me before I could get to that part of the story.

I didn’t anticipate that those assumptions would be so far off the mark.

I didn’t anticipate that the preconceived ideas of some of the people reading would so completely envelope and suffocate my true message.

I didn’t anticipate that people would disagree so strongly with me without understanding what they were disagreeing with.

I didn’t anticipate that I would get so sidetracked by the task of explaining what I was NOT talking about.

I didn’t anticipate that I would get completely derailed by tangents.

So I’ve made a decision. Forget my story. If I get back to it, I get back to it. If not?

meh.

I’m grateful for the lesson learned. If God leads me to tell this story in the future, I will start at the end and work my way backwards.

Me, lamenting to FirstHusband: “It’s like I started out talking about oranges, but before I could even finish describing one, some people assumed I was talking about apples. And not just apples, ROTTEN apples. Now, somehow, I find myself not only talking about apples, but clarifying in painful detail the difference between rotten apples and fresh apples. I have no idea if and when I’m ever going to get back to describing the orange.

(Here’s how to crack that Julie code: Oranges represent abundant life in Christ. Rotten apples represent fire and brimstone turn or burn evangelism and fresh apples represent being open about what Christ has done and is doing in your every day life with the people in your every day life.)

So. For those of you who give a flyin flip, I’ve got another post, or maybe two, about fresh vs. rotten apples coming up and then I’m gonna start peeling an orange.


“If you love learning, you love the discipline that goes with it—how shortsighted to refuse correction!”
Proverbs 12:1

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.”

Kenneth A. Wells


This is the 11th post of a series. CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.