Anita Renfroe: “I like it but I shoulda put some cream on it . . .”
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I love me some good harmony. The Point of Grace ladies.
For more Saturday music, check out Then Sings My Soul Saturday every Saturday hosted by Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders.
Our Cupid is a nine year old girl with long blond hair. She was all about serving dinner to her dad and I tonight. He and I went out for a few hours this afternoon and she spent the time preparing a romantic “restaurant” in our dining room. She also prepared a salad. With dressing tossed in. FOUR hours before serving it. She called us no less than 5 times to ask when we would be back and to tell us the salad was ready.
Finally, FirstHusband and I arrived home. We had to enter through the garage and laundry room because we weren’t allowed into the kitchen and there was a curtain in the laundry room that FirstHusband had to hang over the entrance to the kitchen so we couldn’t see anything and spoil the surprise. Finally, we were banished to the upstairs to wait. We were sprawled out on our bed, chillin out, listening to the kitchen noises. A little impatient bickering between the chef and her recruited kitchen help (her brother), a crash, an “uh oh.” You know, stuff like that.
And we are TIRED. Her expectations are extremely high. She’s got a plan and we don’t dare deviate lest we ruin all her hard work. She’s trying to “make up” for the fact that our Valentine’s Day was spent driving from east Orlando to Tampa and back to see the musical “Wicked.” (It was a GREAT show – the tickets were one of PinkGirl’s Christmas presents.) This romantic dinner is a big deal. We will be expected to order from a menu, even though there’s only one entree to choose from. We will be expected to eat that salad.
Did I mention we’re tired? Face down in the comforter, I say: “Cupid is bossy.”
FirstHusband: “yeah. (pause) but she makes a mean soup and salad.” (pause again) “too bad they are one and the same.”
ewww.
But it was really very sweet. She had costume changes between characters. We met the first server, the restaurant masseuse named Mary who gave us each a shoulder rub, the manager named Stacy, and a second server named Emma (because the first server got off work.) We got a $10 coupon with our reservation and FirstHusband got to pay with the money from PinkGirl’s Pooh Bear wallet. By paying for our meal, we got free admission to the ballroom (the family room). Dancing to Ray Charles and B.B. King singing “Sinner’s Prayer” (aka Have Mercy) she only cut in to dance with her dad once. Very sweet.
Clean up was fairly minimal. In the end, we only had one water spill, a long blond hair in my saladsoup and red candle wax on the table.
Happy Valentine’s Day. Part B.
I critique myself. A LOT.
When I speak, teach or sing, I want a DVD recording. I watch my “game film.” And then I immediately focus on the weaknesses. The things I could have done better or differently and should do better or differently next time.
This consistent self-evaluation and subsequent dissatisfaction with myself frustrates FirstHusband. He wants to know why I can’t see the good. Why I can’t EVER say to myself: “Job Well Done.”
I don’t know why I do this. I’m sure I have some unaddressed emotional problem I’m suppressing and it manifests itself in this constant striving to do better.
Compliments are difficult for me to believe. I used to deflect them, until a friend told me it looked like I was fishing for more when I did that. They said that deflecting compliments prompts the person doing the complimenting to repeat and expand their complement. Not what I was going for and I HATED the idea that my compliment deflection had that result.
Compliments are even more difficult for me in a church environment. Fellow church members don’t EVER tell me anything negative. Not even friends. That’s just not what you do in church. There is one person at my church who actively, consistently “blows rainbows.” The feedback from this person has become as irrelevant as a survey with every single criteria rated as “excellent.” Polite accolades can be untruthful. They can be a LIE. It is statistically IMPOSSIBLE that I am perfect every time. NOT POSSIBLE.
I want the truth. I can HANDLE the truth. It makes me work harder, not give up and sulk.
So I seek out objective third party opinions. People who don’t know me and have no reason to abandon the truth in an effort to be polite. That’s why I started seeing a vocal coach. That’s why I record vocals for student projects at Full Sail. Strangers who don’t know me have no reason to lie. In these two situations, the people I’m singing in front of have compelling reasons to point out my weaknesses. And thankfully, in both situations, they are (1) not shy about pointing them out and (2) offering suggestions as to how to improve.
Having my weaknesses identified by a third party is . . . scary. What if I DON’T have what it takes? What if the compliments have just been polite? I watch American Idol, I see all the people who actually believe they can sing. When Simon tells them they’re horrible and Randy says, “It wasn’t good for me.” and Kara says, “I’m sorry honey, it’s a No.” there are so many singers who desperately try to convince the judges they’re wrong because “Lots of people tell me I’m really good.” How does this happen?
People lie to them. In an effort to spare their feelings, people LIE to them. People who LOVE them, LIE to them. (Okay, some of these friends and family may be tone deaf.)
I don’t want people to do that to me and I won’t do that to my kids. I’ve written about this before. About telling my kids the truth about their skill levels and helping to equip them to improve so that they can feel confident they did their best. My daughter recently got involved with a new performing arts organization. It was a scary decision for her. But she was ready. I knew she was ready. Here’s what I said to her:
“MissSkye says you are really good, but she loves you. Mom and dad love listening to you sing, but we love you too. Are you ready to find out if you’re really good? Are you ready to find out what you need to work on? Are you ready to sing in front of people who don’t know you?”
It took her about three days to decide, but in the end, she wanted the truth. She’s almost ready to start seeing the vocal coach herself.
What a brave girl. And. She’s another one of my HONEST critics.
And you know what? I’m not going doubt my emotional health because I critique myself. I’m not going to stop working hard to improve. I admit it. I hate mediocrity. I hate “good enough.”
I’ve learned that I want to strive to do my best, yes. But even more than that, I want to do what is required – in order to do my best.
To find out what others learned this week, check out What I Learned this Week hosted by Musings of a Housewife.
This week’s new praise song for our 9:30 a.m. praise and worship service!
For more Saturday music, check out Then Sings My Soul Saturday every Saturday hosted by Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders.
This week’s new praise song for our 9:30 a.m. praise and worship service! I can’t stop thanking God for letting me sing it!!! So beautiful.
For more Saturday music, check out Then Sings My Soul Saturday every Saturday hosted by Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders.
Another new song for our church’s 9:30 praise team this week:
For more Saturday music, check out Then Sings My Soul Saturday every Saturday hosted by Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders.
Our church’s 9:30 service praise team is introducing two new songs to the congregation this week. I’ve been singing it all week in my car, walking around the house with my mp3 player, freaking out the cats, I even woke up to it in my head this morning.
I can’t wait for the congregation to learn it because in my head I can hear the women singing the bridge. It just floats. So beautiful.
For more Saturday music, check out Then Sings My Soul Saturday every Saturday hosted by Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders.
I get to sing this tomorrow! I am SO happy we are doing this arrangement instead of the original. So much better! Who IS this woman anyway? She makes it look so easy. This song is not easy.
For more Saturday music, check out Then Sings My Soul Saturday every Saturday hosted by Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders.
PinkGirl watched Mary Poppins tonight. She’s been a fan for years – even BEFORE she met Miss Practically Perfect herself.
She’s We’ve watched it enough to have memorized large chunks of dialog. These days, PinkGirl is actually able to watch it without pausing the DVD for multiple costume changes.
One of my favorite parts is the laughing song. LOVE Ed Wynn as Uncle Albert. And Dick Van Dyke is just plain GENIUS. Betcha can’t watch him laugh without smiling.
Need a few more chuckles today? Check out Friday Funnies hosted by Homesteaders Heart!
If you’ve got time to hang out for a few minutes, check out what else makes me laugh: Pragmatic Compendium’s “laugh!” category.