When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
John 21:15-17
“If God is born like a little baby, God cannot walk or speak unless someone teaches God. That’s the story of Jesus, who needs human beings in order to grow. God is saying, “I want to be weak so you can love me. What better way to help you respond to my love than becoming weak so you can care for me? . . .
The God who loves us is a God who becomes vulnerable, dependent in the manger and dependent on the cross, a God who basically is saying, “Are you there for me?”
God is saying, “I want to be vulnerable, I need your love. I have a desire for your affirmation of my love.”
God has a desire for my affirmation of His love?
I had to stop reading. Sometimes I agree with something an author writes. Sometimes not. And sometimes, I need to think it through.
No. God doesn’t need our love. Who are we? Who am I? Compared to God? Nobody. I’m a fraction of a speck of sand compared to God.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.”
Romans 8:1 (NIV)
I was introduced to the writings of Henri Nouwen through the writings of Philip Yancey and I’m finding in Mr. Nouwen a trait I gravitate to in writers: The willingness to be open about their weaknesses and the courage to publicly share their questions about God. When I read authors who allow me to see their confusion and doubt and take me with them, through their writing, to explore the possibilities, I am the better for it. They make me think about things outside my relatively tiny little world. And I believe that God, through these writers, sometimes teaches me what my life looks like through His eyes. Henri Nouwen is a case in point.
Nouwen, in seeking to answer the question, “What do we really desire?” believes the word “communion” seems to best summarize the desire of the human heart:
“Communion means ‘union with.’ God has given us a heart that will remain restless until it has found full communion. We look for it in friendship, in marriage, in community. We look for it in sexual intimacy, in moments of ecstasy, in the recognition of our gifts. We look for it through success, admiration, and rewards. But wherever we look, it is communion we seek . . .”
My favorite coffee mug reads, “That which is good to know is difficult to learn.”
Ain’t it the truth?
Why is this so difficult to learn? Why is it so difficult to remember that these temporary distractions stand in the way of experiencing the communion with God that really satisfies and fills me with the peace of God I crave? (CLICK HERE to continue reading the complete devotion on Pragmatic Communion.)
I read, therefore I quote Gordon MacDonald and C.S. Lewis:
“Years ago, my father wisely shared with me that one of the great tests of human character is found in making critical choices of selection and rejection amidst all of the opportunities that lurk in life’s path. ‘Your challenge,’ he told me, ‘will not be in separating out the good from the bad, but in grabbing the best out of all the possible good.’ He was absolutely correct. I did indeed have to learn, sometimes the hard way, that I had to say no to things I really wanted to do in order to say yes to the very best things . . .
If we are to command our time, we will have to bite the bullet and say a firm but courteous no to opportunities that are good but not the best.
Once again that demands, as it did in the ministry of our Lord, a sense of our mission . . . What do we do best with our time? What are the necessities without which we cannot get along? Everything else has to be considered negotiable: discretionary, not necessary.
I love the words C.S. Lewis wrote in Letters to an American Lady about the importance of these choices:
‘Don’t be too easily convinced that God really wants you to do all sorts of work you needn’t do. Each must do his duty ‘in that state of life to which God has called him’ . . . there can be intemperance in work just as in drink. What feels like zeal may be only fidgets or even the flattering of one’s self-importance . . . By doing what ‘one’s station and its duties’ does not demand, one can make oneself less fit for the duties it does demand and so commit some injustice. Just you give Mary a little chance as well as Martha.'”
What C.S. Lewis refers to as “that state of life to which God has called him’ I frequently refer to as a “season” of life. There are seasons for things, as I mentioned at the end of my last therefore I quote post. I want to do everything I want to do, if you know what I mean, but I CAN’T.
I see friends working themselves to the point of sickness and stressing their minds and bodies to the point of exhaustion and poor health and ineffectiveness and I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I reacted to the demands of life and other people in my life and I just moved forward, taking action without contemplating whether I should. Without evaluating my capabilities and time limitations and without realizing the impact of adding responsibilities without letting go of others.
As a result, I failed. I failed in many ways. I failed friends, family, employers and clients. I did many things – none of them very well, in my opinion. I gained weight. My body got weaker. I got pneumonia three times and bronchitis so many times I lost count. I was cranky and irritable from a lack of both sleep and solitude. Overwhelmed with responsibilities, some of which resulted from poor, unthoughtful choices on my part.
Then, one by one, I began making hard and intentional choices. Saying no to things that were good, but not best. When I gave up a responsibility, someone else filled my shoes. In some cases, the jobs got done just as well and sometimes better than I did them. A blow the ego, yes. But the time I’ve found has been it’s own reward. More time with my family in this tiny season of life before my kids grow up. Time for solitude and a personal, daily time with God. Time to exercise and make healthy food choices for both myself and my family.
There are not enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do right now. I don’t have the energy or stamina or skills or knowledge . . . I have to DECIDE what’s important in THIS season of my life and focus on those things. Other things will have to wait. The hard part is, some things may have to wait forever.
“. . . therefore I quote” Thursday: If you have a quote to share from something you’ve read recently, feel free to comment and/or include a link to your own “quote” post.
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“Every time Christians are talking and the subject of excellence comes up, you can bet somebody will say, ‘It doesn’t really matter if things are done perfectly, as long as our hearts are right. After all, we’re not professionals.’ And there is truth in that statement. However, it’s a very short step from there to mediocrity . . . “
Mr. Atteberry gives three reasons why excellence matters. The first is that God loves excellence. To support his premise, he refers to and discusses a number of Bible verses, including Genesis 1:31 and Psalm 145:1-7. Mr. Atteberry’s second thought on the idea that excellence matters is that the Bible commands excellence and he refers to Colossians 3:23 which reads “Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” And finally, Mr. Atteberry claims that excellence is important because people respond to excellence.
“We all need to realize – like it or not – that we’ll probably get one chance to make a good impression. If what people see and experience when they walk through our doors is slipshod and disorganized, we likely will never see them again. And who knows, we may have soured them on church once and for all. Imagine the cumulative effect on the kingdom if thousands of churches across the country are making the same mistake.”
I love the following quote from Mr. Atteberry. I reminds me of Winston Churchill’s quote: “It’s not enough that we do our best, sometimes we have to do what’s required.”
“Excellence is intentional. It happens when people make a conscious choice to meet its requirements . . .”
These five requirements of excellence have had me pondering for a few weeks (emphasis mine):
“Let me mention five qualities that excellence, especially as it relates to our kingdom responsibilities, will always require:
Courage . . . there are many obstacles . . . such as apathy, a lack of funds, or small faith. But there are also shotgun-toting lovers of the status quo who view any disruption of their comfort zone as a personal attack . . . Many Christians have recognized the need for change in their churches, and even longed for it, but declined to pursue it because they knew it couldn’t be accomplished . . . they chose shallow harmony over effectiveness . . . Personally, I have never regretted choosing excellence over peace.
Giftedness . . . One of the greatest obstacles to excellence in the church is the mismanagement of God’s gifts. Too many people are not serving in their area of giftedness. There are three ways this can happen . . . some people have no idea what their gifts are. It might be because they’ve never thought about it. Or it might be because they’ve been lied to . . . some people know what their gifts are but they refuse to serve in that area . . . some people know what gifts they lack but insist on serving in those areas anyway . . . No one ever wants to admit that he’s not the right person for the job, but sometimes it’s the truth. Excellence requires that we serve in area where we can do the most good . . . and the least harm.
Money . . . The simple truth is that quality costs. Fact #1: Quality costs more, but generally pays for itself in the long run. Fact #2: Quality equipment and resources will be a blessing to your servants. Fact #3: High quality always makes a great first impression. Fact #4: A commitment to quality says something about your love for the Lord.
Thorough Planning and Preparation . . . concerns about spontaneity, while sometimes legitimate, are just as often an excuse for not planning and preparing . . . God can do plenty of inspiring during the planning and preparation stage . . . whoever said that having a well-thought-out plan means you can’t deviate if the Lord does move in a mighty way . . . Nobody is good enough to wing it all the time and keep producing topflight results. You show me a person who insists upon flying by the seat of his pants in his service to the Lord and I’ll show you solid candidate for membership in the Slipshod Hall of Fame.
Perseverance . . . you will be surrounded by people who don’t see things the way you do. You’ll encounter people who have chosen mediocrity as a lifestyle. They’re comfortable in it and will resent your efforts to change things . . . your passion for excellence is going to be very difficult for them to understand . . . some people who have the best of intentions are simply blind to mediocrity . . . can look right at a slipshod, disorganized mess and not see a problem. If you start talking about changing it, they’ll give you a blank stare and say, “Why?”
Hang in there and give your service to God your best effort . . . try harder. That extra effort you give might be the difference between some lost person being drawn in or driven away.”
I can NOT do everything I want to do WELL. When I’ve tried, I’ve ended up doing things “good enough.” If you know me, you probably know what I think of “good enough.”
If I’m passionate about something, if it’s important to me, I want and need to focus my time and energy on it. I’m passionate my relationship with God. I’m passionate about caring for my family. I’m passionate about speaking and teaching. I’m passionate about singing and leading faith based music. I’m passionate about reading and learning. But. If I try to focus my time and energy on those things while simultaneously, spending my finite amount of time and energy on other things which don’t support those passions – or, in some cases, are counter-productive to those passions, I get . . . mediocrity.
I’ve spent a considerable amount of time pondering and praying about my priorities. I know what’s important to me. The difficult thing is letting go of other things, which aren’t necessarily bad, and are sometimes even good, but just don’t fit within my goals.
We have a saying in our house concerning food – a chocolate Easter bunny, a pizza, a family size bag of chips, a half gallon of ice cream . . .”You can have it all, you just can have it all AT THE SAME TIME.”
I can be involved in lots and lots of activities and services. Just not at the same time. There are seasons for things. I have to know what’s MOST important to me NOW.
I have to choose on purpose. I have to do what’s required. I have to strive to do MORE than what’s required. God deserves my best effort.
“. . . therefore I quote” Thursday: If you have a quote to share from something you’ve read recently, feel free to comment and/or include a link to your own “quote” post.
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58 prominent, accomplished women were asked what they dreamed about becoming when they were children. Surfers, ballerinas, opera singers, Olympians, doctors . . . Each women was featured in a two page layout. Their answers appeared on the left and a photograph portraying them in that role appeared on the right.
What they dreamed about becoming when they were children.
Some of the answers fit the question. But the two that struck me the most didn’t. Instead, they answered the question:
What is your dream? Subtle difference.
The dream of CNN reporter Soledad O’Brien, photographed snuggled in bed with her four children – including twin boys – all under the age of five?
Eight hours of sleep.
Then, you turn the page and you see . . .
Madeleine Albright.
Her dream? Worldwide democracy.
I busted out laughing. Eight hours of sleep vs. worldwide democracy. Did the editors put those two back to back on purpose?
But really. It IS a matter of perspective. Tell me that Madeleine Albright wouldn’t dream of eight hours sleep if she had four kids under five years of age.
Peggy at The Simple Woman’s Daybook is taking the summer off, but I decided to go ahead and post a Daybook entry anyway.
Outside my window . . . the mailbox flag is still up. The mail man carrier is two hours late. Probably due to extra deliveries because of the July 4th holiday on Saturday.
I am thinking . . . about all I need to do. And then pushing it all aside for a little prayer and Bible study time in between dropping off and picking up two kids at two day camps in two different locations.
I am thankful for . . . our abundant blessings. Too many to count:
All in my little family have faith in God and strive to live in His will.
Our physical health.
My husband’s job stability and my loyal clients.
Our material blessings – our home and its air conditioning.
Electronic appliances we often take for granted – our cell phones, computers, mp3 players, microwave, dishwasher, washer/dryer, game systems. Ice maker.
Reliable, paid for vehicles.
The comfort, companionship and humor of our cats.
From the learning rooms . . .
My Utmost for His Highest, July 5th entry: “The one thing that keeps us from the possibility of worrying is bringing God in as the greatest factor in all our calculations.”
Psalm 37:5 “Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.”
From the kitchen . . .No baking bread. Nothing in the crockpot. Leftovers tonight. Flowers on the table. So far. Soon, I will walk into the kitchen and hear a cat scramble off the table. I will then see half-eaten flowers on the table next to the vase. Later, the cat will puke flowers somewhere.
I am wearing . . . bermuda shorts and a tshirt. Hair up in a knot. Flip flops. It. Is. HOT. The tshirt is too hot. I need to change into something sleeveless.
I am creating . . . a computer macro for one of my clients. Fun. In a geeky sort of way.
I am going . . . to get the mail. I just heard the mail truck.
I am hoping . . . to find “delight” in something today. Like a rainbow. Or the smell of baking bread. Or . . . whatever. I’m looking for delight, so I know I will find it. That’s why I put flowers on the table.
And it’s why I just took a break from drafting this post and asked FavoriteSon to bake bread. (in the bread maker – it’s his “thing” in the family – He is such a great guy!)
I am hearing . . . my son. The kitchen timer went off and he immediately stopped playing his video game to unload the dishwasher and bring in the recycling bins. I didn’t even have to remind him. I told you I told you he was a great guy!!
These Pentel pens. Easy flow, quick drying. My FAVORITE pen.
Cobalt blue glass. This sits next to my reading spot in the living room.
A few plans for the rest of the week:
Bible study and prayer time every day.
To NOT SPEND ANY MONEY all week.
Kid chauffeur duties.
Cleaning.
Purging the house of STUFF.
Invoicing.
Finishing up a client project.
Walk every day.
1. “crud.” That’s what our dishwasher is leaving behind. It is also what I am saying about the fact that our dishwasher is not washing our dishes.
Crud is NOT the word I used when I Googled my Kenmore model and found a forum with over 750 entries by owners who have problems with this dishwasher. Instead, I said, “ARRGG!” What? I love that word. Try it. “ARRGG!”
2. “EWWW!” That’s what I said when I sat down at the piano to help PinkGirl with her scales and smelled cat urine. EWWW is also the word I used when I saw the output tank of my SpotBot after cleaning the source of the stanky smell. I will spare you a photo.
3. “Dang It!” That’s what I said when I saw cat foot prints on the SpotBot track marks the next day. I need to get some Enzyme cleaner. Fast.
4. “Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.” That’s what I said over and over again the day after using my SpotBot on said carpet stain. On my hands and knees for 15 minutes moving my arm back and forth while holding the SpotBot wand and my abs are KILLING me. I thought it would be okay, it’s six weeks post-op for cryin out loud. Ow.
5. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” That’s what I said to FavoriteSon this week! 14 years old! When did THAT happen?
6. “Bummer.” That’s what I thought when FirstHusband sent me a text message on Wednesday night that read:
“On the ground in Birmingham. Wasn’t planning to be in Birmingham today. Always a risk flying into Atlanta.” and then “Finally . . . 4 hours late.”
He sat ON the plane, ON the runway in Birmingham for THREE HOURS waiting to fly into Atlanta on Wednesday night.
Then I said “Bummer” again on Thursday night, when I got this text:
“Plane late out of Atlanta. Currently scheduled to land in Orlando at midnight. Be home around 1am.”
And no, he wasn’t sitting in the Atlanta airport that entire time. He flew from Atlanta to somewhere else and back between Wednesday and Thursday evening. He got home around 1:45 this morning and was already at work before we got up this morning. BUM. MER.
7. “YES!” That’s what I said when I got rid of graciously mailed out FOUR, count em’ FOUR free books to other paperbackswap.com members. Let the purging continue! Want a free book? Join paperbackswap.com, list some of your unwanted books, PICK ONE from my list and I’ll send it to you FREE!
Lisa Writes linked up to a book meme that looked very interesting.
List 15 Books in 15 Minutes – Books I’ve read that will always “stick with me.”
The Bible (that’s easy)
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
Decisionmaking and the Will of God by Garry Friesen
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel
The Taste of New Wine by Keith Miller
What’s Next by Rena Pederson
When Work Doesn’t Work Anymore by Elizabeth Perle Mckenna
Guilt Free Living by Robert Jeffress
Where is God When We Hurt by Philip Yancy
Stop Screaming at the Microwave by Mary Lo Verde
The Family Manager by Kathy Peel
The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
You Can Negotiate Anything by Herb Cohen
Communicating at Work by Ronald B Adler and Jeanne Marquardt Elmhorst
This list sends my thoughts all over the place. Memories, realizations, reminders . . . I don’t know if I’ll post it, but I may come back and expand on these – what main concepts I took away and how I’ve incorporated them into my daily life. For now, I wanted to get the list done in 15 minutes – without distractions.
Thanks for the link Lisa!
If you want to participate, check out some of the original memes at:
In the last few weeks, I’ve spent hours reading much on the paradox of evil and suffering vs. a loving and all powerful God. Hours. I’ve been thinking. learning. praying. blogging.
I began with the personal belief that God is loving, all-knowing and all-powerful – in spite of the evil and suffering in the world. I intentionally choose to accept this paradox. Intellectually, I don’t understand it. Emotionally, I hate it. Spiritually, I believe it.
But I was not ready.
Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you. [Peter 3:15]
I had no answer other than, “I don’t understand it. I hate it. But I believe it.”
Not very pragmatic. So I went to books, as usual. I seek knowledge, as usual. I read C.S. Lewis for the first time. (The Problem of Pain) I read Philip Yancy for the first time. (Where is God When It Hurts?) I read Lee Strobel for the first time. (The Case for Faith) I read Herbert Lockyer. (Dark Threads the Weaver Needs) I’ve got a book list including John Piper’s Spectacular Sins and others. I’m still reading and I’m sure I’ll continue blogging about my learning curve and thoughts. But.
Today I watched a 55 minute video and it pulled everything together. E V E R Y T H I N G.
I paused it. Rewinded a few times. Made notes. Typed minute 48. Minute 48 is compelling to be sure. But the truth is that the entire video is compelling.
If you have ever – EVER – considered the “Is this all there is?” question, I promise you that this 55 minutes of your time won’t be wasted. Randy Pausch’s last lecture pales.
Rachel Barkey is dying of cancer. She is 37. She has two children under 5 years old. This is her testimony. Four things she has learned:
Know God.
Know Yourself.
Know the Gospel.
Know your Purpose.
She says in her blog that she wants to “finish well.” Helping to share her message is one small thing I can do to help her finish well. I can also pray.
Don’t have 55 minutes in one sitting? Watch a little at a time. Break it up and watch each of these “things she’s learned” separately. I challenge you, I encourage you, I beg you – to take 55 minutes out of the busyness and redundancy of daily life and think on these things.
Here’s minute 48:
“I am dying.
But so are you.
Neither of us knows if we will even see tomorrow. And perhaps the reason that I am suffering now, the reason that God is waiting to bring judgment against all the evil in this world is because he is waiting for you. For you to acknowledge your sin and to turn to him for forgiveness.
Maybe you are the one we are waiting for.
Jesus suffered. God did not spare him. Why would he spare me? If my suffering would result in good for you? If my suffering is the means that God would use to bring even one person to himself, it is an honor for me to suffer.
Does that seem strange?
I suppose it does.
But really, it is the only way that all of this makes any sense at all.
A God who sees my suffering but is is unable, or worse, unwilling to spare me? A God who sees my suffering but allows it? With no greater purpose or hope? My God is able to save me and he will. But save me from what?
I’ve been reading C.S. Lewis, so that’s what I’ve been saying to myself the last few days. He’s no easy read, at least for me, anyway. I find myself looking around for a nearby dictionary. Sometimes, if a laptop is within reach, I’ll Google a word, sometimes, I’ll decide to look it up later and promptly forget. But I’m doing a lot of “rewinding” as I read C.S. Lewis.
I’m actually understanding quite a bit more than I expected. Admittedly, sometimes Lewis will dissect a premise or an argument to the point of tedium and lose me in the process. Sometimes I find myself thinking, “Okay, I agree with that, I don’t really need you to prove it until I die of boredom . . . ”
Is that wrong?
It’s C.S. Lewis, for crying out loud. I should have more respect.
nah. I’m more comfortable thinking of him as “Jack” as he preferred to be called.
Anyway. Sometimes, I actually get what Jack’s saying immediately and he states it in such a way that I don’t even need a dictionary or a rewind. I got this right away:
“A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.”
I like that one. Does that really drive home the meaning of the phrase, “It’s not about me” or what?
But, I digress.
I got a big honkin book from the library because I wanted to read “The Problem of Pain” and it wasn’t on my bookshelf. This thing contains 6 of his books in one. Not a book you take to the beach or tuck in your purse.
If you’ve been around for the last few weeks, you know I’ve been thinking, studying and working on the paradox of pain and suffering vs. an all-powerful and loving God. I’m looking for a reasonable response for myself, for other Christians and non-Christians who object to the possibility that the two could co-exist. (You can read what I’ve learned so far by checking out the posts under the “suffering” category.)
The thing is, I can’t even begin to approach reasonableness unless I can base it on the premise of the existence of God in the first place, and more importantly, the truth of the salvation of Jesus Christ. See, I want to go to the Bible for the suffering vs. loving God argument, but if the Bible isn’t accepted as a foundational reference to the argument, I got a whole bunch of nothin. I have to begin with proving the Bible. Proving Jesus. Proving Christianity. And this isn’t physical science. My proof isn’t going to come from a Mythbusters experiment. My proof comes from . . . well. Faith.
Jack knew that. And he didn’t pretend to “get it.” Check it out:
“. . . I could write a preface explaining that I did not live up to my own principles! . . . I feel myself so far from true feeling of that I speak, that I can naught else but cry mercy and desire after it as I may . . . If any man is safe from the danger of underestimating this adversary [pain], I am that man. I must add too, that the only purpose of the book is to solve the intellectual problem raised by suffering; for the far higher task of teaching fortitude and patience I was never fool enough to suppose myself qualified, nor have I anything to offer my readers except my conviction that when pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all.”
I’m left believing that Jack and I have much in common in this respect. Although I’ve alluded to past struggle in my life, the truth be told is that I’ve not suffered pain in the sense that many, many have. In the sense of what would be described as tragedy. So I start where Jack did – 20 years before he watched, helplessly as his wife suffered and died. 20 years before he wrote of his personal experience with pain in “A Grief Observed” which is also on my reading list. I start intellectually. In a relatively safe place. Knowing that if when I face true personal tragedy, I will have to start over.
But hopefully, as Jack did, I will come full circle. Grounding my personal suffering in my intellectual understanding.
And all this from the preface of the book.
Next? Chapter 1. After I look up the word “tincture.”
“
by Oswald Chambers
by Janet Evanovich. 
after cleaning the source of the stanky smell. I will spare you a photo.