tv “inventory”

Posted on by Julie Stiles Mills

Sandy at Jesus and Dark Chocolate posted a question:

“How much is too much TV? I also realize it’s also important to monitor what they watch, so what do you think about The Disney Channel and other networks geared towards kids? All thoughts are good thoughts, so bring it on ladies. πŸ™‚ I really want to hear what you think!!”

If you have time, click on over to Sandy’s “watching tv” post and give her a little feedback!

I started to answer in a comment until I realized I was hijacking her blog. So. I’m posting my response here and letting her know about it.

How much TV?

It varies. We don’t have a certain number of minutes per day. I have a feeling that if I set a maximum time limit, they would make sure to watch that much, when in fact, they have days where they don’t watch at all (so far today, nobody has been interested.)

We stay pretty busy, even in the summer – with the (near daily) rain, swimming, play practices, basketball camps, podcasting camp, clay animation camp, “play dates” with friends, family outings, guitar practice, computer time, video games (we play together) . . . and OF COURSE (in this house) reading! We’ve been so on the go this summer, it seems like we only had one week without anything on the schedule – and then we filled it with a beach trip to Daytona. I admit, after a stint of fast pace scheduling, we have “lazy days” where we completely veg out. Overall, TV is watched more during the summer than during the school year. During school we have extracurricular activities (we limit each kid to two things at a time – if their grades stay up) and youth group/children’s ministry starts back up on Wednesday nights.

Given all that, we don’t necessarily have “rules” – more like TV “habits.”

1. MOST of the time, we watch shows recorded with our DVR. NO commercials – saves time and sensors the junk.

2. The kids mostly watch Disney Channel, some Discovery. We have no idea what shows are on Nick. No interest at all. When Brittany’s sister got pregnant, my kids had no idea. Didn’t care. On the major networks (ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX) the only show we DVR for family viewing is American Idol.

3. TV goes OFF if nobody is in the room, watching it. TV background noise is like Chinese water torture for me.

4. The layout of our house is such that I can see and hear everything being watched. It’s made for some good conversations about choices and communication. We’ve also adopted a few family jokes and quotes we use on a regular basis. Basically, there’s not a show the kids watch that I don’t know the content, the characters, the plotlines . . . I love the layout of our house. (NO TVs or computers in the kids bedrooms.)

5. On school nights, all electronics are off at 7:30 p.m. – TV, computer, cell phones, mp3 players – ALL electronics off. NO TV in the mornings before school.

6. Shows get paused OFTEN for chore and homework breaks. Chores and homework get done very quickly when a TV show is paused.

7. We also have a library of family oriented DVDs, many of them Disney movies. One of my favorite? The Emperor’s New Groove.

This post has prompted me to do a little TV watching “inventory.” I went to each of the following network websites and looked at their listing of shows. Here’s what we watch:

Disney Channel:
Family – Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Hannah Montana, Life with Derek, Phil of the Future, Wizards of Waverly Place.
PinkGirl – Phineas and Ferb, Cory in the House (Personally, I HATE Cory in the House. FavoriteSon says “me too.”)

Discovery Channel:
Family – MythBusters
FirstHusband and I – Deadliest Catch (LOVE the editing on the beginning of the opening sequence! The timing with Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” is great.)

ABC:
Family – Every once in a while we catch an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition or a SuperNanny.
FirstHusband and I: Grey’s Anatomy.

CBS:
Family – Nothing
FirstHusband and I: We’ve been strongly encouraged to watch the Big Bang Theory and after watching a clip, I’ll be setting the DVR. We are that geeky.

NBC:
Family – Nothing
FirstHusband and I: Nothing

FOX:
Family – American Idol. Every once in a while, we catch “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader.”
FirstHusband and I – Nothing.

STYLE:
Family – Who wants a CLEAN HOUSE! PinkGirl and I love Niecy Nash. PinkGirl LOVES “How Do I Look?”
FirstHusband and I – Nothing. (But he and FavoriteSon will watch Clean House with us sometimes.)

TNT:
Family – Nothing
FirstHusband and I: The Closer and Saving Grace (both are summer series).

On Friday or Saturday night, FirstHusband and I watch TV. Sometimes we “rent” a Movie on Demand from Brighthouse. I think the last one we saw was “Fool’s Gold” with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson. What can I say. I’m a cheap date.

We also own a few series on DVD and will watch episodes (in order, of course) on weekend nights. TOTALLY giving away my geekiness here, but we actually own the entire Farscape series on DVD. And our favorite, all time show? Sports Night.

It’s inspiring.

It’s funny.

It’s got the fast paced wit of Aaron Sorkin. (The best part of this clip is at the end.).

Every show, a BEAUTIFUL view of the twin towers is shown (its last season was in 2000).

I got FirstHusband Quantum Leap for Christmas, and we recently started watching, so those will take a while to get through.

Oh! FirstHusband and FavoriteSon watch sports, mostly college football and pro basketball. (I watch enough sports to be able to ask intelligent questions and I understand the terminology enough so that when they are watching one sport on tv and listening to another on the radio, while switching to a third during commercials – I don’t get too confused anymore.)

If I remember something else, I’ll edit the post to add it, but I think that’s it.

from pink to pinkalicous

Posted on by Julie Stiles Mills

FavoriteSon was camping with friends last weekend, so it was just me, PinkGirl and her dad. What to do? What to do?

We ended up in PinkGirl’s room. We were pretty sure it was her room. It was pink. After three play dates, one followed by a sleepover – each with a different pair of sisters, this is what it looked like on Sunday afternoon.

Now, I know these 6 other girls don’t have a clue what the Underwear Principle is, but PinkGirl totally gets the concept. And the organization of her room was NOT working for her. The two air mattresses aside, her toys, books, and costumes weren’t stored well. We could have just helped her clean everything up and put everything away, but the fact is, it would have turned out this way again. (I know this from experience.) Let me explain:

Let’s start with books. PinkGirl is her mother’s daughter. She loves books. If you see the pile of books over to the right side of the photo, you can see some cubbies at the head of her bed. (Click the photo to see a larger image.) They went all the way up to the ceiling. The lower cubbies faced outward, the upper cubbies were reversed to provide easy access when she was in bed. Not working for two reasons. See that pink box sticking out of the lower cubbie? We tried to store books in those bins, inside the cubbies. She would take books out (that would be plural) to get to the one she wanted and NEVER put them back. Also, she would bring books (that would be plural) from the lower cubbies into bed with her and NEVER put them back. Not working. She needed access to her books from her favorite place to read. Her bed. She also needed to be able to pull the exact book she wanted without sifting through lots of others. So. Book storage in Pinkgirl’s Room? Not working.

Next, the toys. Little toys. Kid meal size toys. Lots of them. Everywhere. FavoriteSon had a box for each. Tarzan toys? In the box with a picture of Tarzan on it. Toy Story toys? In a box with Buzz and Woody on it. Bugs Life toys? You get the idea. FavoriteSon liked everything separated because he played in a very structured world. PinkGirl, on the other hand, can have Buzz Lightyear marrying Cinderella with Tarzan as the best man, fighting off Zurg while the entire cast of every Disney movie ever made attends the wedding. So. PinkGirl does not store her toys by “like kind.” She likes to dump a box, pick today’s cast of characters, shove everyone else out of the way and play. When she’s done, she like to dump everyone a box. Any box. It doesn’t matter. (Kinda freaks FavoriteSon out a little, but he’ll be okay.)

In addition, PinkGirl has an elevated bed and she LOVES to hang her comforter over the side and make a tent to play in. Santa brought her a Barbie Hotel last Christmas (she calls it “The Tipton“) and she has it tucked under there. (It’s pretty cool, I saw one just like it a few years ago at a garage sale for $25.00. That would have been a great deal! πŸ™‚ ) Anyway, she needs a place for Barbie storage too.

So. We bought 4 more cubbie units. One 3 x 3 unit and three 2 x 4 units. Each unit was $39.99 at Target. Each cubbie is 1 square foot. In all, we added 33 cubic feet of additional storage space to PinkGirl’s room. FirstHusband is a MASTER at putting these babies together these days, but this time he had some help.

AMAZING difference. We lined the wall with them, floor to ceiling. Somehow the height of the bed was just perfect. It didn’t block ANY cubbies completely. Check it out four days later. Still straight. (hey. four days is major in this house.)

PinkGirl’s entire library is right within reach when she is in bed. She’s got all her books completely organized. Chapter books together, one cubby for paperback storybooks and another for hardback, one cubby for large Christian books and another for small. Dr. Seuss has his own cubby, Disney has two and “learning” books are all grouped together. She put nearly every one of the books on her new shelves all by herself.

Under the bed, she’s got all her toys in bins, Barbies in the top cubbies, everything within easy reach. And again – SHE put everything in the cubbie bins.

Just a note here, the white, plastic bins were from Walmart. At a $1.83, they are a great option for these cubbies. Target does sell canvas boxes in different colors but I HATE them. They are thin and cheap and they don’t hold their shape. I got the dark pink canvas bins (shown below) at Big Lots for less than half the price -and they are heavy, strong and hold their shape. They don’t go all the way up to the top of the cubbie, but we like that because we can see inside without pulling them out. I would have gotten more instead of using the white plastic bins, but Big Lots didn’t have the colors we wanted right now. Maybe later. For now, all but one these bins (in the photo below) are EMPTY!!! So we have the flexibility to rearrange some things as we figure out what works and doesn’t work about our latest organization of PinkGirl’s stuff. Most of the stuff in the photo below is for playing school and for creating art (With everything except paint. No painting in the bedroom.)

We also have some completely empty cubbies at the head of the bed. (she was eating a snack at her table – we don’t usually store ketchup in her room)

So. In less than a day, for less than $200, this room went from a pink explosion to pinkalicious. So far. So good.

We even manage to box up over 50 books, lots of toys, outgrown costumes and an old, giant Fisher Price doll house for charity donation. I’ve already entered it into It’s Deductible! Now if I can just get it all moved from the hallway to my van. And then to the charity drop off. Baby steps. Baby steps.

i’m going to be there.

Posted on by Julie Stiles Mills

Today, I cared for my friend, PrincessG’s two daughters while she was debilitatingly ill from her Monday chemo treatment. She knew on Monday, as the chemicals were entering her body that she would be very, very sick today. She knew, weeks ago that she would be this sick today. That’s when she asked if her daughters could sleep over tonight.

PinkGirl is in drama camp with the daughters, CutieK and KRed this week and next, so I’ve been picking them up everyday at noon and taking them to lunch. Monday and Wednesday, their dad drove all the girls to drama camp and I picked them up. After lunch, I took CutieK and KRed for play dates at the homes of other families stepping in to help. Tuesday, I took the girls to camp, worked on client site for two hours, picked them up, brought them home and let them swim until their dad picked them up. Today, I drove them to camp, made a long over due Walmart run for necessities, picked them up, fed them lunch, took them to the grocery store with me and brought them home to swim.

CutieK’s big sister, KRed was diagnosed with autism at a very young age, but after years of many different kinds of therapy, she is exceeding her doctor’s expectations. When I see FavoriteSon play with KRed, the patience he shows, I’m so proud of the young man he is becoming. The understanding he displays when she distances herself from PinkGirl and CutieK, encourages me so much. He provides a calm, laid back environment where she can “chillax.” When I see PinkGirl defend her when other kids make fun, I am so proud. I see PinkGirl automatically include her and miss her when she wants to take a break. I am so thankful for the compassion my kids are displaying in this situation.

After swimming, we pulled the kitchen table into the family room, covered it with blankets to make a tent and the girls watched “The Little Princess” on DVD while eating a picnic dinner in their tent. The last play the three of them were in was The Little Princess, so they all wanted to watch it. After the movie was over, I asked the girls if they wanted to go for a walk. PinkGirl and KRed were all about scooters and helmets and getting ready. But, even in the excitement, it was PinkGirl who noticed CutieK curled up in the recliner with her pillow. Crying.

PinkGirl was all over it. “What’s the matter? Are you okay? What’s wrong? MOM! CutieK’s crying! It’s okay. Do you need a tissue? What’s the matter?”

“I want my mom and dad.”

oh. no. that movie was NOT a good idea. A father and daughter almost separated forever and tearfully brought together at the last minute. Father and daughter crying and hugging. Why didn’t we watch Alvin and the Chipmunks?

This is something I can’t fix. and I mean I REALLY can’t fix. For all the distraction and fun I and all the other families have been throwing at these two sweet girls, this is the one thing they would trade it all for. Being home. With mom and dad.

I sent PinkGirl and KRed out to get the bikes/scooters/helmets ready while I called CutieK’s dad, left a message and then went to the recliner to talk to her. What could I possibly say? She was trying to stop crying. Well. That’s not right. She’s 7. She should be able to cry if she needs to. And she needed to. I knelt down, held her hand and rubbed her back. Floodgates opened. I let her cry for a few minutes without interrupting. I just wrapped by arm around her shoulder and held her hand. I wasn’t going to tell her it was okay. It wasn’t okay. If everything were truly “okay” then she wouldn’t be at my house at that moment. She would be home with her mom and dad. She knew that. But when did she get to cry about it? When did she get to take a break from being brave? When the tears slowed, I said, “CutieK, I know you’re sad and I know it’s hard. It’s okay to be sad.” More tears. More back rubbing. “There are so many people who love you and who are praying for you and your family.” I wait. The tears slow again. “Your mom is getting better, you know that don’t you?” Shrug. “I know that it doesn’t look like it because she doesn’t have any hair, but that’s part of getting better. Really. The medicine she is taking is helping her, it just makes hair fall out.” quiet. Then, the other two girls burst in and inept as I am, I gear back up into distraction mode because I am that much of a coward.

“Do you want to go for a walk now? I’ll take my cell phone with us, so when your dad calls back, you can talk to him.”

“ummm hmmm.”

CutieK’s dad called before we left for the walk. I gave her some space and went outside to wait with PinkGirl, KRed, FavoriteSon and one of his friends. When the phone call was done, she joined us outside. You know a surefire way to distract a little girl from the fact that her mom has cancer? Before you take her on a walk, let her watch two 13 year old boys shoot expired soda cans with a BB gun (from a safe distance).

The good news is that, as of April, PrincessG’s cancer is “resolved” and the chemo seems to be working. The bad news is that it was stage IV breast cancer. The chemo continues because the doctor wants to kill every. last. cancer. cell. in her body. She shaved her head less than two weeks ago. The good news is that PrincessG’s lotsahelpinghands.com community has hundreds of members, all pitching in as they can. Many, many families, bringing meals, cleaning, running errands, picking up kids, caring for kids . . . you name it. The hard part is that this has been going on for months and this blessing of childcare is . . . unsettling for the kids. They want to be home. I get it. I wish, with all my heart that I could have taken CutieK home tonight when she missed her mom and dad.

But until that’s possible, I’m going to be there for this family. Because, it is only by the grace of God that I, myself, am not battling cancer. It is only by the grace of God that the little girl crying and wanting to be home with mom and dad – wasn’t my daughter.

This post was inspired by Linda’s post, “Teaching Our Kids to Care” at Mocha with Linda.

lunchbox flatware

Posted on by Julie Stiles Mills

I have a double set of Oneida flatware. It’s still a double set for one reason only – not ONE piece of it EVER leaves the house.

Back when PinkGirl was in preschool, I sent plasticware in her lunchbox. Mostly spoons. PLASTIC spoons.

Then I got green and started sending (washable, reusable) flatware. I don’t know why it took a few days for me to realize it, but PinkGirl wasn’t bringing the flatware back home. She was throwing her spoon away every day. She threw away her spoon. In the trash. Every day. Because that’s what she did with the plastic spoons.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one “misplacing” the good flatware.

So I bought a bag of mismatched flatware at a garage sale for a dollar and dubbed it “lunchbox silverware.” It’s the ONLY flatware that ever leaves the house. Every once in a while, I buy some more at another garage sale or a thrift shop. Because it disappears. But now, when a lunchbox comes home sans spoons and forks, I don’t care.

We don’t keep it in the same drawer with the good flatware. We don’t even keep it NEAR the good flatware. We also don’t separate it like we do the good flatware, we just toss it all together. Take a look:

lunchbox flatware

So, the only piece missing from my Oneida flatware set is the spoon the garbage disposal chewed up. Not bad.


Find more tips and some great recipes over at Kitchen Tip Tuesdays hosted by Tammy’s Recipes.
Check out Works for Me Wednesday hosted by Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer.

DisneyQuest. pros and cons.

Posted on by Julie Stiles Mills

June 2008. PinkGirl is 50.

INCHES, that is.

And that is a GOOD thing. It is a VERY good thing. We’ve been WAITING for this for a VERY long time. Thank. You. GOD!!!!!

We went to DisneyQuest this weekend and for the first time EVER, PinkGirl didn’t go home angry or in tears. DisneyQuest is a 5 story arcade. For a VERY long time, for our family, it has been a 5 story source of sadness. Weepiness. A 5 story source of frustration and . . . temper tantrums. Because the COOLest things to do at DisneyQuest (according to PinkGirl) require the cool “enjoyer” of such cool things – to be a minimum of 51 inches tall.

Today, PinkGirl is . . . .

50 and 1/2 inch tall. But she wore the right shoes. (Well, they were her regular shoes. But still.)

So, Friday, June 6th, 2008 was a MOMENTOUS day in our family! PinkGirl got to ride BOTH the Cyberspace Mountain virtual roller coaster AND the Buzz Lightyear bumper cars! FINALLY!

We’ve been going to Disney Quest for years, and FavoriteSon has always had fun there. But he was taller than 51 inches the first time we ever set foot in the cybrolator (elevator) and watched Genie on the “magic mirror.” When you are more than 51 inches tall, the only things between you and every single ride/game at Disney Quest are the que lines and your own level of courage and adventure. When you are under 51 inches tall, the ride attendants stop you.

Take a look at these great photos and don’t miss the video link to see the Cyberspace Mountain “barrel” in action. (Skip the idealistic plea by the site owner to call or email Disney’s guest services to stop them from shutting down. I haven’t heard any “closing” rumors myself, but if Disney wants to close Disney Quest they’re going to do it, no matter what “guests” say. The only way to “save” Disney Quest is to buy tickets. Lots and LOTS of tickets.)

Let me give you my view of the “Pros and Cons” of Disney Quest.

The “Cons”
Some may not agree with me, but Disney Quest is not the best place on Disney property to bring a baby, a toddler or an elderly family member. Preschoolers are a little easier, and there are actually some things they will even enjoy, but the height restrictions will limit their fun.

First of all, strollers are NOT allowed. That makes for either a tired kid or a tired parent (from carrying said tired kid). Usually both.

There’s not a lot of seating near the action. There’s some dining seating near the games, but very, very little. So if a parent plans to sit and watch kids, they’re going to have to wait on a spot – and in some areas of the arcade – there is no “spot” to sit. There is a room full of dining tables, but it is surrounded by walls so you can’t see anyone in the game/ride areas. Lack of seating and the “no stroller” rule make for a LOT of standing for everyone.

It it is LOUD. The kind of loud that causes you to yell, “WHAT?” when someone talks to you. After a few hours of this, any little one can become overstimulated and, thus – cranky. I USUALLY have the ability to tune out background noise, so I don’t notice it so much. If you or a family member can’t take extended, loud noise, this isn’t the place to go. Consider splitting up and letting the “noise sensitive” members of your group explore Downtown Disney. There’s lots to do.

You can lose sight of a little one in the BLINK of an eye! This place is not set up like Chuck E. Cheese, where you get your arm stamped and your arm stamp has to match the stamp on the kid’s arm before you can leave with the kid. People are moving and kids are moving faster. The kids pop from game to game as a spot opens up. If they aren’t fast, they stand and wait. and wait. and wait. Lighting is not bright and it’s difficult to keep up with kids if you get distracted for even a second or two. Those parents who make their kids walk with them from game to game are serious “fun suckers” and (at $37 for ages 10 and up) they are throwing away some very expensive fun time. I usually either park myself (standing, of course) in a central location and follow the kids with my eyes or I kick it into gear and keep up.

Some of the rides can be scary for little ones. PinkGirl HATED the Pirates of the Caribbean ride/game last summer. Wearing 3D goggles, four people go into a small room, surrounded by a screen. Standing on a platform that looks like the deck of a pirate ship, the platform tips and sways, while everyone shoots cannons at attacking pirate ships and at some point, the Krakken comes out of the water and you have to shoot it too. This year, PinkGirl (age 7) LOVED Invasion, which is similar, except you are sitting down. You have to rescue people and shoot aliens. What a difference a year made. You just have to know your own kid and make a judgment call.

The food service changed the first weekend of June 2008. One week later – not a good change so far. No more Cheesecake Factory and in the FoodQuest counter service restaurant, the portion size of the BEST chicken Caesar salad I’ve ever had is now less than half. No more pizza by the slice, rather individual pizzas, which are smaller than the slices were. If you bought the plastic cup for refills, they will still honor it and allow you to purchase a large drink at refill price.

The SongMakers are frequently broken, but when the work, they are pretty fun. Up to four people can fit inside an isolated sound booth with a touch screen computer, which is used to create an original song. You pick the style of music, the song title, lyrics and either a male or female singer. Then you pick from over 1,000 rhyming lyric “snippets” to create a song. It comes out to 2,000,000,000 (two BILLION) possible lyric combinations per song. When the song is finished, you pick the artwork for the CD cover. Of course, the CD is available to purchase. Last year, I think it was $12.95.

The “Pros”

It is FUN. Do NOT touch my right arm when I’m busy shooting the Centipede. And, under NO circumstances are you to touch my Superzapper. Seriously. Back away.

There are ALL kinds of video games. LOTS of “retro” games and LOTS of newer games. Pinball out the wahzoo – even human pinball, where you stand on a platform and rock to move your ball around on a big screen with 12(?) other players. (GREAT workout!) LOTS of virtual “ride” type games.

A big favorite is the Cyberspace Mountain virtual roller coaster. With Bill Nye the Science Guy as your guide, you design your coaster, incorporating a sequence of maneuvers varying in thrill levels. You can select barrel rolls, loops, jumps . . . whatever you want. In the end, the computer “rates” your coaster for a fear factor or thrill level, from 1 (nice and easy) to 5 (i’m gonna ralph). PinkGirl’s first coaster measured a “1” and didn’t go upside down at all. FavoriteSon’s measured a 5 and went upside down as many times as was possible. FavoriteDad rode with both kiddos. When the attendant asks you if you have anything in your pockets, trust them when they encourage you to empty them into the little bowl and lock them in the cabinet outside the door to your coaster. (you keep the key.) Ladies? You might want to tuck in the front of your shirt. Leave hats in the cabinet too or you will end up holding it and it will cover your face for the recording. Because you may want to buy the video of yourself riding your coaster. cha ching. Family members are allowed to stand outside your coaster and watch you inside the barrel too.

Another hit for those over 51 inches is the Buzz Lightyear bumper cars. You need a driver and a shooter. The driver tries to roll over the “asteroids” (black rubber balls) because the car picks them up and deposits them inside the car. The shooter retrieves the asteroid, loads it in the shooter, closes the “hatch” on the shooter, points and shoots at one of three possible targets on another car. Since your car has three targets also, the driver’s second task is to avoid incoming asteroids. If you get hit, your car spins out of control for 10 to 15 seconds. If you’re not careful, you could spend the entire ride simulating the Teacups at Magic Kingdom. Oh, and don’t try to shoot before the cars start up. If your shooter jams, you’re going to be annoyed. And sick from spinning because you were defenseless for the entire ride. Good times. Good times.

For us, the fact that many of the virtual rides are suited for groups of 2 or 4 is a good thing. For some families, that won’t work out so well. Before PinkGirl was old/tall enough, we used the Rider Switch Pass, also known as the “baby swap” to allow both FirstHusband and myself to have fun with FavoriteSon while the other stayed with PinkGirl.

If you go in “good” weather, it’s usually not horribly crowded. In bad weather it is very often PACKED. (Think it’s a good place to hang out to avoid the rainy Florida summer afternoons? So does everyone else on Disney property.) Summer during the day is often PACKED with summer camp field trips. Last summer, we would often go to a water park (Typhoon Lagoon is pretty much across the street) and then hop on over to Downtown Disney and Disney Quest for dinner and evening fun just as the summer campers were loading on their buses. Perfect timing.

Disney Quest is also a GREAT place to hang out if it is too early to check in at a resort. If you arrive in town and don’t want to waste a day of your ticket package on a theme park for only a few hours of time, Downtown Disney and Disney Quest are a great option. When we stay at one of the resorts, we often spend the evening there after dinner, sometimes leaving just in time for Extra Magic Hours. It was really great when PinkGirl was little. One of the grownups could stay in the room and get PinkGirl to bed, while the other could take FavoriteSon to Disney Quest for some big kid/one on one time. This was really helpful when we stayed in a one room resort suite. The little kid could sleep, but the big kids (us included) didn’t have to be quiet in the dark. It’s also a GREAT place to have fun in the heat of the day.

The annual pass is GREAT for us. For the last few years, we’ve been premium annual passholders. that means we could get into Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Hollywood Studios, Animal Kingdom, Blizzard Beach, Typhoon Lagoon and Disney Quest ALL year – no block out dates. Our tickets expire June 8th and this year, since we bought the boat, we are going to spend most of our summer vacation time on the ocean. I think we’ve decided to buy Disney Quest/water parks annual passes for $129 and, later in the fall, buy seasonal passes (with blockout dates). With a single admission fee of $37, we only have to go to Disney Quest 3 times before we (almost) break even. That doesn’t even include any water park visits.

Now that PinkGirl is tall enough to do EVERYthing at Disney Quest, we are going to be having a LOT more fun there.

Check out the Frequently Asked Questions at www.allears.com for more insider tips.

sometimes, we have to do what’s required.

Posted on by Julie Stiles Mills

“Not every kid made the team when they tried. We got disappointed and that was all right. We turned out all right. It was a different life, when we were boys and girls. Not just a different time, it was a different world.”
A Different World, by Bucky Covington

PinkGirl is 7 years old and has been in 2 to 4 plays a year since she was 2 1/2 years old. At 7, she has had a LOT of people tell her how “wonderful” she did after a performance. And yes, she’s done a good job. She has play rehearsals for 15 weeks before a performance, so she gets good at whatever part or song she’s to perform.

BUT.

She wanted to sing with me at church a few months ago and while I was practicing, she wasn’t. I rehearsed in the car. She wanted to listen to Radio Disney. I rehearsed in the house. She was playing Barbies. So I told her she couldn’t sing with me unless she could sing the song the same way 3 or 4 times in a row without messing up. Sound harsh?

Too bad.

I’ve got a framed quote in two different locations in my house and I’m trying to teach my kids its true meaning:

“It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.”
Sir Winston Churchill

I’m a vocalist, a speaker and a trainer. I know that hard work – and I mean HARD work – goes behind every performance, every presentation, every training session. I understand that I can only be good at what I do if I WORK at it. I memorize my lyrics and sometimes I interpret a song using sign language. I work with a sign language coach to make sure I’m getting the concepts right. I practice over and over and over and over . . . Since I’m an extemporaneous speaker, I don’t memorize presentations or lectures, but I do have my outline DOWN. I may not know exactly what words I’m going to say, but I do know EXACTLY what I’m going to talk about and in what order. When I speak or train, I’m prepared.

So I wouldn’t let PinkGirl sing with me unless she practiced. At a minimum, she had to know the words to the song. She had to be able to sing the song the exact same way, more than a few times in a row – BEFORE I would allow her to perform. Sound harsh?

I can live with that.

I know what would have happened if she sang without practicing. She’s cute. People would tell her how well she did. They would tell her that she did well – EVEN IF SHE DIDN’T. And that’s not good. Sure. It’s kind. In the “now.” But what does it teach her in the long run? Nothing good, as far as I’m concerned. It teaches her that “good enough is good enough.” (I HATE that phrase.) It certainly doesn’t teach her a good work ethic. It certainly doesn’t give her a realistic view of her strengths and weaknesses. How does she know what areas of her life need improvement if the only feedback she gets is praise – for “trying.” In this particular case, she wasn’t even trying. And that doesn’t fly.

I think that’s a big problem these days. We need to – in a kind and loving way – give our kids honest feedback and help them develop realistic expectations.

This past basketball season, FavoriteSon was one of 11 boys who made the 7th grade team. In the beginning of the season, he was getting very, very very little playing time. We called the coach to talk with him about it, and he graciously explained it this way: “He’s the 11th best player in the seventh grade.” ouch. Tough to hear. But what do we do with that? Do we tell FavoriteSon, “You keep doing your best. We love you.” Well, sure. But that’s not all we did. We asked the coach for specifics. What did FavoriteSon need to work on? What could we DO?

The first thing we did was tell FavoriteSon the truth. We let him be sad for a few minutes and then we asked him:

“So, what are you going to do”

“Idunno.”

“Do you love basketball?”

“Yeh.”

“Enough to practice every day?”

“Yeh.”

Then we (FirstHusband and myself) put forth some serious effort into helping FavoriteSon get better at this sport he loves. With continuous feedback from the coach, we helped him improve his skills. We helped him with his communication skills to increase his credibility with his coach and his teammates. We explained how he could show the coach how he was improving. We encouraged his work ethic by pushing him to give 100% EVERY time he got on the court, whether it was in a game or just in practice. He worked at it. EVERY day. He had his first life lesson in “doing what was required.”

In the end, FavoriteSon’s coach awarded him the “Chameleon” award at the end of season banquet.
In the end, PinkGirl learned the song (Down in the River to Pray) and sang with me.

I can live with that. And more importantly, so can FavoriteSon and PinkGirl.

This post was inspired by Audra over at www.audrakrell.com

mom. Mom. MOM!

Posted on by Julie Stiles Mills

My son wears headphones around the house sometimes, listening to his mp3 player. They completely block all external sound (or so he says). When I need to talk to him, call him, ask him a question – whatever – I can’t get his attention.

So I flash the lights on and off.

After an entire afternoon of this, he responded with, “STOP needing me!”

Yeah. Welcome to MY world, kiddo.

Today, I had a client call at 9:00 a.m. Just a quick little scheduling confirmation. First time on the phone with a client since school got out on May 23rd. The call lasted about 7 or 8 minutes. Think I could do it alone? ALL by myself? To quote PinkGirl, “Yeahhhhhhhhhh.NO.” PinkGirl HAD to talk to me. RIGHT THEN. I had to do the finger to the lips thing about 10 to 15 times. In less than 8 minutes.

I had another call at 10:19 a.m. from another client. Remember, I’ve had no client calls (or even WORK) for over a week. This time BOTH FavoriteSon and PinkGirl HAVE to talk to me. He said, she said. He did, she did. Bicker. Bicker. Bicker.

(wimper)

For the kids, this is boredom at its finest.

What to do, what to do? Last year we threw money at this problem. We bought an above ground swimming pool, which I affectionately refer to as a “redneck” pool. (Trust me when I tell you. I am SO allowed to use that term.) We’ve heard from friends that older kids lose interest in swimming pools, leaving empty nesters with the task of caring (and paying) for their big screened-in, built-in pools. So we opted for an above ground pool that we can get rid of when our kids grow up.

But for now? It’s a hit.

redneck pool

I’m one of those moms who is compelled to be with their kids while they are swimming. I need to see. I need to hear. Often, I can sit on my back porch, under the ceiling fan, reading, working on the laptop computer, blogging, talking on the phone. When I need to make lunch or dinner, I can see the pool through the kitchen window. When it gets too miserably hot, I can sit in my family room – in the air conditioning – and watch them through the sliding door. (I leave the door open a little so I can hear. FirstHusband complains a little about the air conditioning, but he understands.) We invite friends over to swim a LOT. We run the dryer a little more – to dry and warm towels and bathing suits, and we are spending a little more on food for lunch and snacks, but over all – our redneck pool is a hit!

So what happened this morning? The kids don’t often swim in the morning. Something about the water being too cold. wimps. It appears I need to let voice mail pick up morning phone calls and return calls in the afternoon, during swimming.

Except for the weeks they are in day “camps.” Basketball camp, “podcasting” camp, drama camp. Gotta love camp.

We’re also nicking away at learning a little guitar and piano.

(Disclaimer: My kids are 7 and 12 (almost 13) years old. When they were preschoolers, fighting “summer” boredom was a year round challenge. MOPS? You have my utmost respect.)


There are almost 300 “Mom, I’m bored.” ideas over at Works for Me Wednesday, hosted by Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer.