1. I learned that it is possible for me to make 4 round trips to school in one day.
Drop off.
Take FavoriteSon to the athletic trainer to get a rehab plan for a strained quad and hip flexor he RE-strained after running at yesterday’s track meet – and return him to school to take two quizzes in two classes.
Pick up FavoriteSon just before P.E. – which he can’t participate in anyway – to bring him home so he can crash because his allergies are winning today.
PinkGirl pickup.
2. I learned another reason I love my house. It is 10 minutes from school.
4. I learned that it is possible to forget to pick up my new iron prescription 4 times in one day.
5. I learned that cold medicine can elevate my blood pressure.
6. I learned to use a Neti Pot to clear my sinuses. Amazing. I was a little concerned about getting saline down my throat and being able to breathe while using it, but it was surprisingly easy. And effective. We own THIS ONE because it has a lid. We actually own two because FirstHusband is a germaphobe and needs his own. With his name on it, so there’s no confusion. FavoriteSon and I just wash the other one after we use it.
7. I learned that I HATE it when a man talks to me like I have a giant pink bow on top of my head. Okay. I already knew that. (That would be the trainer at the track meet yesterday – NOT the trainer I took FavoriteSon to today. The trainer we saw today talks to me like I can understand big words and doesn’t speak in a “sing song” voice.)
8. I learned that, apparently, when a man talks to me like I have a giant pink bow on top of my head, my facial expression may give him the impression that I think he is an idiot. Which is good. Because he stopped. And I didn’t have to actually TELL him to talk to me like I was a man.
Tina has inspired me again. A few weeks ago, she wrote a post on a Bible study she was doing and what she gleaned from it.
“Being kind is definitely something I struggle with. Not with the rest of the world, but with my own children. I get impatient, frustrated, short-tempered and unkind. And I really SO do not want to be that mom. I am praying now for a gentle spirit. I’ve always admired women who have that….godly women that love the Lord and seem to just live and breathe Proverbs 31. Believe me, my children don’t, as a rule, arise and call me blessed.”
My daughter sure as heck doesn’t arise and call me blessed. Often, she’s a crank in the morning until after we give her some orange juice or Ovaltine and her blood sugar levels out. We OFTEN wake her up with a no-spill sippy cup in our hand. (Try it, you might be amazed at the difference in your kiddo’s morning attitude and cooperation.)
I write about my parenting strategies and my perspective, and it may seem like I’m getting it right, but I need to clarify. I fall off the “good mom” wagon all the time. I just get back on as fast as I can. AND, I used to fall off MUCH more often when my kids were home with me 24-7. AND I know some of the reasons why.
PinkGirl and I have our moments. MOST of the time, I can give her grace when she has a blood sugar dip and starts crying for no apparent reason. But sometimes, I find myself asking her, “WHY are you crying NOW?” and saying my standard, “Handle this differently” or “Solve your problem.” in a frustrated, impatient tone of voice instead of my encouraging, reminder voice. Sometimes, when she is “disagreeable,” I completely forget to calculate when she ate last and I react with what is to me, a lack of empathy and a toneless voice. What SHE sees is a mom “who doesn’t care about me when I’m upset!” (and she tells me exactly that.) Instead of responding with grace and providing her a complex carb/protein combo before continuing in a reasonable conversation with her, I react immediately and escalate the situation. The whole episode steals time and energy and peace from our day. It’s a waste. And I know it. I don’t like it. So I try to take my own advice and “Solve my problem” by “handling things differently.”
When find myself impatient or frustrated with my kids, I start by looking for the root causes so I can fix my real problem. Physiological, psychological, spiritual . . . I always start with the physiological. (I’ve got my fair share of problems, but today I’m only focusing on ONE of the the physical problems.) I do a little self-check.
Am I tired?
Am I hungry?
Is my iron low because I keep forgetting to take that stupid pill?
Until I “fix” these physical issues I can’t consistently parent intentionally or well. Unfortunately, “fixing” isn’t an instantaneous, one time thing. Often I have to make consistent changes over time to completely get RID of these problems rather than just trying to manage them. If I’m not careful, I could end up like this: (the first two minutes)
But back to fixing my (physical) problems and handling things differently. Let’s start with “tired.”
I sometimes have trouble getting to sleep. Sometimes I don’t get enough sleep. So I’ve made a few changes:
First, I now take Ambien when I need it. Not every day – only when I can’t get to sleep. I started with Tylenol PM. One was too much. Half was just enough. When both my GP and my GYN heard I was taking it, they both suggested Ambien instead. I started with 10mg control release. Too much. I need to wake up when a kid needs me. Then I went with the regular 10mg. Too much. Drowsy the next morning. I now take 5mg.
I also intentionally GO TO BED earlier. Sometimes (not often) as early as 10:00 p.m. I’m a night owl. Sometimes I’m not sleepy at 10:00 p.m. If I can’t get to sleep, I take some Ambien. My goal is to go to bed the same day I wake up instead of wake up the same day I go to bed.
When I read in bed, I only read fiction. I don’t need to be learning when I’m trying to calm my mind. Even when I read a devotional, I find my brain ramping up when it should be ramping down. To make sure I don’t slip up, I don’t keep any non-fiction books in the bedroom.
The low iron can make me weak and tired too, so I take a prescription iron supplement. (But I’m fixing that too.)
No coffee after 1:00 p.m. or so. Enough said.
Back when PinkGirl was a baby, I would nap when she napped. I read this over and over again when FavoriteSon was a baby and I rarely followed the advice. When PinkGirl was born, I was older, with more on my plate and more tired. I kinda had no choice.
Sometimes it was the kid’s sleep cycles that threw a wrench in mine. When a kid won’t go to sleep or wakes up in the middle of the night, what are you going to do? Sleep anyway? Not likely. I’ll write another post on overcoming kid sleep problems. We had to do that too.
I removed things from my “To Do” list. Some jobs get harder the longer they are delayed. Like dishes and laundry. But some jobs take the same amount of time and effort each time you do them, regardless of whether you last did them yesterday or last week. Like vacuuming, cleaning the toilet or dusting. So my house wasn’t up to white glove standards. big whoop.
So, given my history and challenges, I have a question for moms like Tina and I who sometimes get, as Tina put it, “impatient, frustrated, short-tempered and unkind:”
What kind of sleep are you getting? Supposedly, a sleep cycle is 90 minutes. I know that when my sleep is fragmented or I don’t get enough of it, I’m predisposed to a lack of patience and frustration. It doesn’t take much to push me off the “good mom” wagon.
Yes, when I get more sleep, my day is shorter. I have less time to accomplish all the things I “need” to. But when I get more (and better) sleep, my day – and my family’s day – is BETTER. And all those things I “need” to do? Some get done. Some don’t. Some jobs I keep doing. Some jobs FirstHusband handles. Some jobs the kids take care of. Some I decide not to do anymore.
You CAN change your situation. Even minor changes can add up. We have choices to make every day. When you say to yourself, “I HAVE to do (insert urgent, important task here).” Rethink it. Do you? What’s the worst thing that would happen if you didn’t? What things can you let go of? What things can you allow others to take responsibility for? Maybe the person who picks up your slack doesn’t do things exactly like you would. Is it THAT important that something be done your way?
I used to think I had no choices. But I was confusing “no choice” with “difficult choice.”
So, ten things I love that start with (the letter she assigned me) the letter “H” are:
I love my HUSBAND. He’s my best friend. The bonus? He loves me back.
I love my HOME. Because it is within our means and a cozy, memory making, safe, happy, comfortable blessing. I am SO thankful, that a few years ago, when the real estate market was going crazy, we didn’t buy a house we really couldn’t afford. Our daily lives would be very different. Our house would own us.
I love TheHallelujah Chorus. Every year, I have to go to EPCOT for the Candlelight Processional and get my annual Hallelujah Chorus fix. I try to go when Marlee Matlin is narrating. The year before last, we sat in the front row, near the musical sign language interpreter. Marlee, front and center, signing the Christmas story and an extremely talented sign language interpreter practically right in front of me, signing the music. INCREDIBLE.
I love the song “Hip to Be Square” It’s my ringtone. It’s my motto. What’s a motto? Nothing. What’s the motto with you? (movie trivia again. where’s it from?)
I LOVE the sound of Happy Children. Especially my own. My daughter. Singing at the top of her lungs. Her own made up songs. Without a care in the world. My son. Singing to whatever is on his itouch. When he thinks I’m not listening. If you are out somewhere trying to shush a loud child, don’t ever do it on my account. I knew kids were loud before I had them myself.
I love my Honda Odyssey. Because it’s paid for. And it starts EVERY time I turn the key. Do I want a different/new vehicle? No. And again NO. Because I would have to pay for it.
I love strong, tight Harmony. The harmony that comes when people are perfectly in tune. When they know and sing their own unique part, smooth and steady, while at the same time, they listen and adapt to blend . . . just right. I LOVE harmony. Musically and otherwise. I prefer harmony over unison. Musically and otherwise.
Heat. DRY heat. Specifically, the 6 x 4 foot cedar sauna in my garage. I bought it on eBay over 6 years ago. Someone won it at a home show and didn’t want it. I was digging my heels in at the expense, but FirstHusband strongly encouraged it. I haven’t gotten tired of it. I used it today. And I’m already planning on using it tomorrow.
Health. I’m so thankful for it and I’m not taking my health or the health of my family and friends for granted. I do NOT want a handicap sticker for my car. NO THANKS. I’m getting stronger. I’m walking. I’m eating healthier.
I got stuck here at the end. Do I cheat? Something like, “Honkin Big Pile of Books” or “Huge cup of coffee?”
I asked FirstHusband what he thought. He immediately said “Hope.” I asked him what he meant and he said, “Whenever you run across someone who is in, what they believe to be, a hopeless situation, you don’t accept that the situation is hopeless. You encourage them to consider an option or a path they hadn’t considered before. You love hope.
He’s right. I can be annoying that way. I was talking with FavoriteSon just yesterday about a problem he had and I clearly remember saying:
“I’m not saying I know what you should do. I don’t have the answer right now. I just believe there IS one.”
Want to participate in this meme? Write about ten things you love that begin with the first letter of your MIDDLE name. Then come back and comment on this post and link up to yours!
FavoriteSon is FAST. I mean REALLY fast. Check out the photos on Pragmatic Commotion in the post “that’s what I’m TALKIN’ about!“. (I take better photos when I’m not screaming “GO! RUN!! RUN!! RUN!!! THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!!!” I should probably also look through the lens instead of directly at the field.)
While I am hugely proud of him, I must be honest. He’s got an advantage.
Idiopathic toe walking.
There are a few causes for toe walking, including autism and cerebral palsy, but in this case, FavoriteSon gets it from his dad. The physical condition is caused by tight/short heel cords (Achilles tendon). FirstHusband doesn’t walk on his toes anymore, and we always figured FavoriteSon would also outgrow it. And he has, somewhat.
A few years ago, when he was 9, he had a few months of physical therapy and it really helped. After years of toe walking, his body had adjusted and his hip flexors were tight also. So when he stood on what we, in our family, call “regular feet” with his heels on the floor, he was bent forward at the waist at about a 45 degree angle. As he went back up on his toes, he stood straight and tall. We had been monitoring the condition since he began walking and he always hated going to the pediatrician because he would be asked to walk on his heels and it was very uncomfortable. His condition had remained fairly constant until he went through a growth spurt at around 9 years old. When he dropped to his heels and bent over at a 45 degree angle, we determined he needed to see a specialist. The specialist first recommended physical therapy and if that failed, possibly surgery. When the doctor explained that the surgery would involve poking lots and lots of holes in the muscle and then wearing braces on his legs as the muscle healed, FavoriteSon decided he did NOT want surgery. Thankfully, the physical therapy made a huge difference. It was hard work. And it was very uncomfortable. And he complained. But after a few months, he bent forward at about a TEN degree angle when he dropped down onto his heels. A ten degree angle wasn’t enough to warrant surgery. FavoriteSon was VERY happy. And he knew exactly what he had to do when he went through another growth spurt. He had to stretch those muscles to catch up with the bone growth.
This is the winning stretch for him:
And how is he now? Walking on your toes for 13 years makes for some strong calves. And running without putting your heel down first? Makes for some FAST sprinting. So the boy can SPRINT. Sustained running? no. He can’t run much farther than a mile at a time without his heel cords “burning” as he puts it. So, he runs track, not cross country. And he HATES jogging. I was talking with a friend (who is a runner) about his condition and she said, “OH! So he’s already up there!” Yes. He’s always up there.
I can pick him out in a crowd or across a football field because I can recognize his gait. He still walks on his toes, but only slightly. And he can stand heels down without bending over at the waist.
His biggest problem now? His nickname on the football field. “Prancer.” pshhh. A fat man in a red suit can catch “Prancer.” Don’t be calling him Prancer when I’m in earshot. I protect my young.
What is FavoriteSon’s favorite school lunch these days?
Cold pizza.
The “take and bake” Walmart pizzas for $8.00 are an easy way to go on this one. We bake the pizza on Sunday, cut it up into 10 pieces and FavoriteSon packs 2 slices in his lunch every day. Of course, since he’s 13, that’s not ALL he takes for lunch, but it’s a good start.
This week, he talked me into taking him (and his sister) to American Pie for dinner while FirstHusband was on travel, so he’s eating Amercian Pie leftovers for the next few days. That wasn’t $8.00.
Posting this tip was FavoriteSon’s idea. Good job, bud.
To find out what others learned this week, check out What I Learned this Week hosted by Musings of a Housewife.
