February 2013 - Pragmatic Compendium

church: THERE. IS. MORE.

Posted on February 28, 2013April 5, 2018 by Julie Stiles Mills

This is the 15th post of a series. I started out telling a chronological story, but got derailed before I could get past August of 2012. I’ve addressed the derailing tangent to death. I’m tired of talking about something I wasn’t even talking about. I’m skipping WAY ahead in my story. Maybe I’ll get back to explaining how God brought me to where I am today, maybe not. Today, I’m cutting to the chase. And I can see another tangent coming at me already, so I’m hoping an acknowledgement will help me nip that in the bud. (If you need to catch up or review, CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.)

I’m going to say hard things. I’ve spent a week writing this particular post and I’ve prayed about it for hours. and hours. and hours. and HOURS. Hard. Things. I promise you I’m saying them in a spirit of edification.

After a 14 post lead-in…

HERE’S MY POINT:

THERE. IS. MORE.

“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
John 10:10

Christ came that we may have life, and have it abundantly, in all its fullness.

Not abundant blessings or stuff.

Abundant LIFE.

Abundant life isn’t a state of existence to be pursued or attained. It isn’t a level of success or a degree of spirituality. It is an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ and it leads to a dependance on Him that can’t be met through or in or by ANYthing else.

Without Christ, I can accomplish NOTHING of eternal significance. Without Christ, I have NOTHING. Without Christ, I am NOTHING.

And before I say another word, I need to acknowledge something:

I know there are people in my church who understand what I’m saying.

I need to say that LOUDER:

I know there are people in my church who understand what I’m saying.

But there are so. many. people in my church who have no idea what I’m talking about.
There are people in my church who don’t want what I’m talking about.
There are people in my church who don’t give a flyin flip what I’m talking about.

And to beat a dead horse – I am not only referring to people who haven’t yet accepted Christ.
This is NOT about evangelism.
I am primarily referring to people who have accepted Christ.

I accepted Christ 28 years ago and up until 2007, I wouldn’t have known what I was talking about if I explained it to me. (good luck following that.)

There are born-again Christians in my church who have never experienced abundant life in Christ through an intimate, no holds barred relationship with him, who have no idea what I mean by that, who flat out don’t want it and/or don’t think there’s any need for it.

And if the Christians aren’t witnesses to what Christ has done and is doing in our lives and in our church, how will the non-Christians – both the people seeking God and the people who think they are Christian but have never accepted Christ – ever see evidence that a life transformed by faith in Christ is any different from their own?

There are so. many. people. – Christians and non-Christians – at my church who don’t see any need for an intimate relationship with Christ. They don’t even know that what they are missing even exists.

And that realization causes me to grieve for my church. and to pray. persistently.

Because as much as God desires an intimate relationship with us, He won’t force us into it.

The father let the prodigal son leave,
The king invited people to the wedding banquet for his son, but he didn’t force them to come,
He stands at the door and knocks, but he doesn’t bust it down and come barreling in if we don’t open it.

My church is not a Christ-centered church. The gospel is not the foundation of all we say and do.

My church has gone off on our own to accomplish good and reasonable things in the world.
My church is so focused on working for God it doesn’t even occur to us to come to the banquet and spend time with God.
My church isn’t refusing to open the door, we just can’t hear Him knocking over all the activity in the house.

There’s nothing I can do or say to bring revival to my church. There’s nothing anyone can do or say to bring revival to my church. Not even the pastor. A Christ-centered sermon here or there won’t do it. A compelling sermon won’t “convince” us to desire revival. Because revival doesn’t come from an intellectual decision to initiate it.

Only the Holy Spirit can bring revival.

Yes, the Holy Spirit can anoint a pastor and use a 20 minute sermon to draw people to Christ. But if God were to move and stir revival in my church, He wouldn’t limit Himself to that 20 minutes. He would saturate the culture of the church in a foundational dependence on Christ that results in a consuming passion to worship Him, an underlying peace that comes from an unwavering trust in Him and JOY that trumps any unhappiness or trial we might face.

“We depend on God to help us.”

no. we don’t.

“Yes we do.”

no. we really don’t.

For all the things we do at my church, all the programs and classes and service and ministries and sermons and worship sets, we don’t – as a unified body of believers – acknowledge that without Christ at the center of all we say and do, we can’t accomplish ANYTHING of eternal significance.

At my church, we link arms and stand strong together;
we would kick butt in a game of Red Rover.
At my church, we know how to follow instructions;
we would be champions at a Simon Says tournament.
At my church, we are more loyal to each other
than the Robertson Family.
At my church, if we had a box of dominoes, we would
line them up in nice, neat, reasonable, sensible rows
(I know a few who would prefer a game of Mexican train).

but.

We – as a unified body of believers – do NOT openly and consistently acknowledge that we are completely incapable of accomplishing anything on our own.

And there goes the first domino.

The second? Because we – as a unified body of believers – don’t acknowledge that the Holy Spirit – given to us freely through our faith in Christ – is the source of our strength and abilities, because we don’t approach EVERYthing we do – programs, classes, service, ministry and every aspect of our weekly services – with a openly shared understanding that we desperately need the Holy Spirit to equip us for these pursuits, we don’t make prayer our first step – our first priority – and humbly ask Him to do the equipping.

We don’t even ask Him if the things we are trying to do are within His will.

when the dominoes come tumbling down?

We set ’em up again.

We brainstorm and research and study and benchmark and make decisions based on good ideas and bad. We think and reason and rationalize and plan and execute – all without STOPPING. And spending “unreasonable” amounts of time in prayer asking God if these “things” we are planning are things He even wants us to do in the first place. As a unified body of believers, we don’t beg God to reveal to us our motivations and guide us to fruitfulness.

We are afraid to sincerely offer ourselves up and ask God to prune us. Why? Because we know He will?

Pruning HURTS.

But we need it. Because we are dragging the ground, covered in mud. Weak. Unfruitful.

We as a congregation need a clear understanding of what our church believes, what our values are, what our mission is, because without a clear understanding what we believe and why we believe it, we have nothing upon which to measure when it comes to evaluating whether or not all this stuff we’re doing supports those values.

And Christ should be at the center. Everything should branch off from that Vine.

Instead,

We do good and reasonable things.
We do things because we’ve always done them.
We do things because they are efficient.
We do things because they make sense.
We do things to make people comfortable.
We do things so people won’t leave.

We don’t even consider the possibility that God might have something completely different in mind.

Something radical.

Something better than we ever thought or imagined.

Something we can’t accomplish without Him.

Something that would give Him all the glory.

Instead, we are…reasonable. and appropriate.

We don’t ask people to tell us how they came to faith in Christ.
Instead, we ask them how they came to our church.

Baptisms are for new babies, new members and new confirmands.
Professions of faith? new members and confirmands.

If someone comes to faith in Christ outside the schedule of a new member or confirmation class, what do they do?
Who do they tell?
How do we celebrate?

Is genuine worship something we as a body of Christ are confident we experience every week?
Or are there (too many?) times when “congregational singing” would be a better description?

How many of us wake up and go to church because that’s just what we do on Sunday morning?
How many of us wake up and go to church because we look forward to spending time with friends and family?

How many of us wake up and look forward to church because we know we will encounter the manifest presence of God?

Every week.

This is what I pray for my church:

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.”
Matthew 16:15-18

“The gates of Hades will not overcome it.”

That’s not a church we can build on our own power. It’s a church only Christ can build.

But we have to realize we need the Father. And come home to Him empty handed.
We have to come to the banquet and spend time with Him.
We have to open the door and let Him in.

How do we get to that place? The place where we want to go home, want to spend time with him and want to open the door?

WE PRAY.

I’m praying desperately and persistently, that my church – as the body of CHRIST – would be profoundly dissatisfied with being nice people who do good things in pursuit of a “good Christian life.”

I’m praying desperately and persistently, that – as the body of CHRIST – we would dedicate ourselves to prayer and relentlessly ask Christ to draw us into an intimate relationship with Him that leads us to experience abundant life in Him.

because

THERE. IS. MORE.

“All the hearts who are content, And all who feel unworthy.
And all who hurt with nothing left, Will know that You are holy
And all will sing out, Hallelujah. And we will cry out, Hallelujah
Shout it, Go on scream it from the mountains
Go on and tell it to the masses, That He is God”

“We committed ourselves to unapologetic preaching, unashamed worship, unceasing prayer, and unafraid witness. And God began to reveal His glory slowly at first but increasingly over time.”
Vertical Church: What Every Heart Longs for. What Every Church Can Be by James MacDonald

CLICK HERE to read the next post in this series, entitled: Vertical Church: a clarification. and a survey.

This is the 15th post of a series. If you need to catch up or review, CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.

four minutes with God: Joshua 24:15

Posted on February 28, 2013April 5, 2018 by Julie Stiles Mills

a Quote:
“Your choice must be a deliberate determination—it is not something into which you will automatically drift. And everything else in your life will be held in temporary suspension until you make a decision. The proposal is between you and God—do not “confer with flesh and blood” about it (Galatians 1:16). With every new proposal, the people around us seem to become more and more isolated, and that is where the tension develops. God allows the opinion of His other saints to matter to you, and yet you become less and less certain that others really understand the step you are taking. You have no business trying to find out where God is leading—the only thing God will explain to you is Himself.

Openly declare to Him, “I will be faithful.” But remember that as soon as you choose to be faithful to Jesus Christ, “You are witnesses against yourselves . . .” (Joshua 24:22). Don’t consult with other Christians, but simply and freely declare before Him, “I will serve You. ”Will to be faithful—and give other people credit for being faithful too.”
My Utmost for His Highest, Updated Edition by Oswald Chambers

my Prayer:
Lord, I will be faithful. I will serve You. Please equip me to be a witness for your grace and glory. Please bless me with wisdom. Please bless me with courage. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26

the Word:
…choose for yourselves today whom you will serve…
Joshua 24:15 (NASB)

the lyric.
“Let not conscience make you linger, Not of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness He requireth is to feel your need of Him.

Come, ye weary, heavy laden, lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry til you’re better, You will never come at all.
You will never come at all.”

post hoc, ergo propter hoc.

Posted on February 27, 2013April 5, 2018 by Julie Stiles Mills

This is the 14th post of a series. I started out telling a chronological story, but got derailed before I could get past August of 2012. I’ve addressed the derailing tangent to death. My intention with this post was to get back on topic, but it appears I’m not quite ready to do that. (If you need to catch up or review, CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.)

I’ve been paralyzed.

For a week.

Four previous drafts of the post I was trying to write sit abandoned. Because of this warped logic:

“post hoc ergo proptor hoc”

I know what you’re saying. “hhhhhhh. What is she talking about now?”

It means “after this, therefore because of this”

Surprisingly, I didn’t read it in a book. My husband actually pulled it out of his freakish memory from an episode of The West Wing.

“post hoc ergo proptor hoc”

The reason for my paralysis. This knot in my gut, sick to my stomach paralysis.

(what follows is the culmination of a much longer conversation)

Me: I’m terrified of saying something that will lead to someone turning their back on God. I’m terrified of saying something that will lead someone to say “oh, YEAH. THAT’S a God I want to know.”

FirstHusband: “I’m not going to tell you not to be discouraged. I’m telling you to push through it.”

Me: I just don’t want to cause harm.

FirstHusand: “Do you think there’s anything you can say or do to cause someone to convert to Christ?”

Me: “no.”

pregnant pause. We both know where he’s going with that question.

Me: “It’s not the same. People HAVE turned their back on God because of something someone has said to them.”

FirstHusband: “Have they really?”

Me: What are you saying?

(then there was a discussion about someone we know who turned their back on God and cites as the reason something one person said to them 15 years before.)

FirstHusband: “Did that one comment really keep them from God all these years?”

Me: “You’re saying the comment is a scapegoat.”

FirstHusband: “I’m saying that if there’s nothing you can say or do to CONVERT someone to Christ, there’s nothing you can say or do to PREVENT someone from coming to Christ. Your job is to..”

Me, interrupting: “be a witness.”

FirstHusband: “Exactly.”

” It is essential that you give people the opportunity to act on the truth of God. The responsibility must be left with the individual—you cannot act for him…Refusing to act leaves a person paralyzed, exactly where he was previously. But once he acts, he is never the same…The dominating power of the world, the flesh, and the devil is now paralyzed; not by your act, but because your act has joined you to God and tapped you in to His redemptive power.”
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

This is the 14th post of a series. If you need to catch up or review, CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.

Hide and Seek Champion

Posted on February 22, 2013October 23, 2016 by Julie Stiles Mills

This little guy jumped in my van yesterday afternoon. This is his second taunting appearance since then. He bolts and hides as soon as I get too close.

Cheeky little creep.

If I can’t catch him, there’s only one thing left to do.

Name him.

So far, the facebook suggestions are:

Randall (from Monster’s Inc.)
Liz Taylor
Mr. Greenjeans
Stellaluna
and
Cujo

FirstHusband says I should name him “Stinky” because that’s what he’ll be after he bakes to death inside a closed van in the Florida sun for a few days.

I would put Bob the cat in the van with me for a while if I didn’t think he would have an “I’M GOING TO THE VET!!!” panic attack and cower under the seat.

Just in case there’s any doubt, lizards are not my favorite.

The “Visitors”

Posted on February 21, 2013April 5, 2018 by Julie Stiles Mills

This is the 13th post of a series. Hopefully, this is the LAST post on the turn or burn evangelism tangent that completely hijacked my original point. Next post, I’m back on topic. If you need to catch up or review, CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.

When I attended Baptist churches “back in the day,” I was expected to go “Visiting.” That meant participating in some very intentional and formulaic evangelism. Church members would gather at the church at an appointed time and then go “visit” people. Sometimes invited, sometimes just expected and sometimes the visits were “cold calls.” In every case, the circumstance was the same. The Visitors (always in pairs) were expected to show up at the home of someone they had never met, knock on the door and talk to them about Jesus.

My view on that?

Creepy. “oh great, the Christian stalkers know where I live, pull the curtains, turn off the TV and the lights and everybody be totally QUIET till they go away” creepy.

or is that just me?

Surprisingly, more often than not, The Visitors reported that people responded graciously, even when they said “no. I actually do NOT want to talk about Jesus” and “no, you definitely can NOT come in.”

In spite of my personal aversion to Visiting, I actually believe there are ZERO limitations for how people come to Jesus. I’ve heard stories about people coming to Christ through visiting, street evangelism, Christian tracts left in a public restroom, billboards, songs, bumper stickers…you name it. I agree with author and theologian Steve Harper when he said:

“Every form of evangelism works for some people.”

But the fact is, those things don’t draw people to Christ. Only God can do that.

“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day.
John 6:44

I believe God can use anything and anybody to draw people to Himself.

I’m the one who places limitations on what God can do. Both back in the day AND today.

“Visiting?”

Never did it.

NEV.ER.

Not once.

And at one of those churches I was the music minister’s wife.

The music minister’s stubborn wife.

I used to say that evangelism wasn’t my spiritual gift.

But I knew the truth then and I know it now. I don’t like “Visiting.” Especially cold-call visiting.

KMN.

So while I don’t decide what God can and canNOT use to draw someone to Christ, it appears I do decide how I myself will be open to being used by the Holy Spirit.

Knowing that about myself, does that mean that given a chance, I would choose to go “Visiting?”

pshhhh. no.

If another Christian told me that all Christians “should” go Visiting, would I go?

nope.

If God prompted me to go Visiting, would I go?

hhhhhhhh.

I know me. and I’ve read the “yeah, but” conversation Moses had with God when God told him to do something he didn’t want to do. I would explain to God that those types of encounters are not my forte. I would remind God that I myself find that type of evangelism off-putting. I would remind Him of the fact that I am a witness in my everyday interactions with people. I would point out specific people He placed in my path, opportunities He provided and how I responded. I would ask him to equip me for those personal encounters. And I would conveniently neglect to mention the opportunities I let pass because I was too much of a coward to speak.

And if God listened to all that whining and still prompted me to go cold-call “Visiting?”

I would stall.

And eventually go. Because I’m not that stupid. I’ve also read the story of Jonah. Disobedience is MUCH more uncomfortable than cold-call evangelism.

So, yes. I would go. But I wouldn’t like it. And God would know it. Because He’s God. and He knows me. No need for pretense. That’s one of the best aspects of an intimate relationship. No need for a pious charade.

Just obedience.

The truth is that being a witness for Christ can mean very different things to very different people. Here are a few examples. (I must admit. My favorite is the guy with the megaphone.)

That video showed 7 variations on evangelism. My thought on each?

1. no.
2. no.
3. no.
4. no.
5. no.
6. no.
7. YES.

In my last post, I said that I’ve learned the hard way that the word “evangelism” does not have a one size fits all definition and that my personal working definition of evangelism is:

“Being a witness to what Christ has done and is doing in my life – because I’m so passionate about it I can’t keep it to myself.”

Within the framework of that definition, evangelism doesn’t take place at a certain time or place. For me, evangelism takes place in my everyday interpersonal interactions.

That means in the context of my everyday interactions with people, I am very open about my faith. Because I’ve learned that if I hide the thing that is most important in my life from the people I interact with in an effort to make them more comfortable, we will never be true friends. They will never know who I really am. I will be a big fake. The hiding would be deceitful. I tell people about my faith in Christ because it is such a integral part of my life that to hide it from people would be to hide myself. It would keep people at a distance.

So if you would be more comfortable with a fake friendship, I’m not your girl. We will never have a running text thread. And you will not have your own unique ring tone or text message notification on my cell phone.

We will never be more than acquaintances.

Here’s what evangelism looks like in my life: When I interact with people, the first thing I want to do is get to know more about them as an individual. I ask questions. I listen. I ask more questions. and I listen. Sometimes, the other person shares something about their own life or experiences or goals or dreams or obstacles or fears that calls to my mind something in my own life and experience – something which relates in some way to what they’ve shared with me. Since Christ is such an integral part of my life, it’s only natural that those experiences would be saturated by His presence and influence.

I don’t filter Him out of my life stories to make other people more comfortable.

What about you? Do you filter out what Christ has done and is doing in your life in an effort to make people more comfortable? To make yourself easier to like?

Are you hiding the most important part of yourself and in the process, sabotaging the potential for authentic friendships? Are you keeping people at a distance? Settling for another acquaintance when you could have a true friend? What happens if you give the other person more credit than that? What happens if you trust them accept you for who you are even if they are different than you?

Sharing what Christ has done and IS doing in my life occurs naturally within my interpersonal relationships. It stems from a genuine extension of friendship and respect. It stems from authentic transparency.

I used to think that if I was transparent about my faith I would be rejected. Sometimes I am.

Because sometimes?

We are not as tolerant as we would like to think.

But more often than not, I’ve found that people are very gracious. More than tolerant. Friendly and engaging even. Even when we don’t agree.

Why?

Because there is a HUGE difference between telling people what I believe and telling people what I think they should believe.

There is a HUGE difference between telling people how I live my life and telling people how I think they should live theirs.

There is a HUGE difference between telling people how my faith in Christ impacts my life and this:

The first is evangelism.

The second is just obnoxious.

“We are called to be witnesses – to show and tell what we have seen and what we know. We are to be a witness of the way that God, through faith, prayer, and the Bible, has transformed our lives.”

Going Public with Your Faith
by William Carr Peel and Walt Larimore

evangelism is like halloween.

Posted on February 18, 2013April 5, 2018 by Julie Stiles Mills

yep. You read that right.

evangelism is like Halloween.

oh, that’s bound to get me in trouble. I can hear it: “sacrilege!” “blasphemy!” “heathen!”

or maybe you’re thinking I’ve completely lost it.

evangelism. is like Halloween?

For those of you who will click away because you don’t have time to read a crazy woman’s blog, see ya later.

But for those of you who are saying “okay. I’ll bite. WHY is evangelism like Halloween?”

Here’s a little glimpse into the crazy that is me.

My kids go to a non-denominational Christian school. When they were little, every few years, one of them would come home from school in October and tell me that one of their teachers had told their class that celebrating Halloween was a sin. They came home with horrible stories about pagan practices and a load of guilt bigger than their backpacks.

I always responded the same way.

Me: “What does Halloween mean to you?”

Kids: “costumes. candy.”

Me: “That’s right. Do we practice any of those pagan rituals?”

Kids: “no.”

Me: “What do we do with our jack-o-lanterns?”

Kids: “make jack-o-bread.”

Me: “What have you dressed up as on Halloween?”

Kids, alternating:“Minnie Mouse, Blue from Blues Clues, Cinderella, Jack Hammer Rescue Hero, Sleeping Beauty, Darth Vader, Barbie, a pirate, Boba Fett…”

Me: “That’s right. In our family, we celebrate Halloween because dressing up and trick-or-treating is fun. Costumes and candy. It’s sad that some people only see the bad things about Halloween. They’re missing out on all the fun part. Besides, you know what that means?”

Kids: “what?”

Me: “More candy for us.”

If you came away from that story with “Salvation is like getting candy.” then I am a terrible writer and you should just CLICK HERE and go waste your time somewhere else.

Here’s my point: Our family’s approach to and motivation for celebrating Halloween has nothing to do with the horrible things associated with Halloween and everything to do with what we love about Halloween.

Are there horrible things associated with Halloween?

yes.

We don’t celebrate Halloween because of those things.

Moving on to evangelism.

Over the last few weeks, I have learned the hard way that “evangelism” is not a simple word with a commonly accepted definition. Let’s look at two of them:

e·van·ge·lism /iˈvanjəˌlizəm/

1. The spreading of the Christian gospel by preaching or personal witness.

2. militant or crusading zeal

I choose Door Number 1.

Here’s what that definition looks like on the other side of my personal filters: “Being a witness to what Christ has done and is doing in my life – because I’m so passionate about it I can’t keep it to myself. Sometimes through opportunities to speak to a group, more often than not, one on one, within the context of my personal relationships.”

My approach to and motivation for sharing how my life is impacted by my faith in Christ has nothing to do with “militant or crusading zeal” and everything to do with the fact that my relationship with Christ is the best part of my life.

Some people, who know about the “militant and crusading zeal” definition (maybe because they’ve been a victim of it in the past?), will be hard pressed to hear any talk of Christ through any other filter. They would rather I shut the hell up. And be gone.

But here’s the thing. I don’t often talk about hell. Not because hell doesn’t exist. I believe it exists just like I believe pagan Halloween practices exist. And I’m not afraid of talking about hell. It’s just that hell is not at the forefront of my mind or my motivation when I talk about what Christ is doing in my life.

Rather, my passion for Christ stems overwhelmingly from the foundational peace and joy I experience because I am saturated by the intimacy of my relationship with Him.

So, to review. How is evangelism like Halloween?

Let’s extract two key paragraphs and compare:

Halloween: Our family’s approach to and motivation for celebrating Halloween has nothing to do with the horrible things associated with Halloween and everything to do with what we love about Halloween.

Evangelism: My approach to and motivation for sharing how my life is impacted by my faith in Christ has nothing to do with “militant or crusading zeal” and everything to do with the fact that my relationship with Christ is the best part of my life.

Is Halloween about pagan practices for you? Does evangelism mean "militant and crusading zeal" to you?

I am sorry for your loss. and more candy for me.

Tangent: Notice something. NOWHERE in the original definition #1 or in my filtered definition #1 is there ANY mention of converting people.

MrYehbut: “Well, you can’t deny that converting people is the goal of evangelism.”

Maybe for some. But they hold to a different definition of the word evangelism. Conversion is not my goal. Please don’t put words in my mouth or ulterior motives up my sleeve.

How am I so sure I don’t harbor a hidden goal to “convert” someone? Two reasons: (1) I am abso-flippin-lutly confident that I can’t convert anyone. Only God can do that. (2) I love being a stepping stone in someone’s growth. It’s my favorite part about training and coaching. I love asking people questions and I love learning what makes them tick. The side benefit is that I usually learn something in that process.

Tangent Complete.

Danger Will Robinson. Rant Ahead.

Here’s the thing. I understand that there are people who have been a victim of “militant and crusading zeal.” I’ve been a victim of militant and crusading zeal. But I saw the zealots for who they were. A misguided fragment. I did NOT automatically stuff all Christians who talk about their faith in a tiny little box and write them off as annoying wackadoodles to be ignored or venomously and sarcastically ridiculed.

I personally believe that most reasonable, tolerant people are intellectually capable of evaluating individuals and situations on their own merit.

Evangelism means different things to different people. I’ve explained why I tell people about my faith, but I haven’t explained how evangelism fits into my everyday life.

So I gotta tell you, when someone stamps “militant and crusading zealot” on my forehead before they get to know me, it’s my faith in God and my respect for them as an individual that keeps me from looking for my own stamp. The one that says “lazy bigot.”

Yep. That’s bound to get me in trouble with somebody. I can feel it already. “Bloggin blind” is liberating.

“You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard.”
Acts 22:15

“Witnessing assumes that the results are up to us; being a witness assumes that the results are up to God…In biblical evangelism, there’s nothing you have to memorize, no techniques or sales pitches to practice, no complicated philosophical arguments to comprehend and communicate. It’s just telling your story naturally, in the midst of the many divine appointments the Lord gives you each day. In the biblical sense, a witness does not always witness, but a witness is always a witness who shows others what Jesus had done and is doing in his or her life…In fact, being an effective witness is as easy as inviting [someone] to have a cup of coffee.”

Going Public with Your Faith
by William Carr Peel and Walt Larimore

This is the 12th post of a series. CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.

I made a mistake.

Posted on February 15, 2013April 5, 2018 by Julie Stiles Mills

I’ve been telling a story.

My mistake was that I started at the beginning. I should have started by stating my premise and then worked my way backward.

I attempted to chronicle what God had revealed to me and how. Telling the story in the order the events took place was not a good idea.

Terrible idea.

The only people who understood what I was getting at were people who already recognized what I was describing.

A few people who didn’t understand what I was getting at – and wanted to understand what I was getting at – either asked to meet with me or sent me a personal message and we talked through it.

Thank GOD for them. They have been a blessing and an encouragement while providing accountability.

But there have also been a few who didn’t understand. There have been some who summarized 10 blog posts with “she criticized the pastor” and/or “she wants there to be an invitation at the end of every sermon” and tawked amongst themselves, spreading unfounded gossip.

That’s unfortunate. and sad.

I can’t fix that. It would wear me out to even try. Instead, I’m praying the people hearing that summary won’t take someone else’s word for it and will want to see for themselves. I’m praying that those people will seek out my blog for firsthand information and that, as they read the posts, the Holy Spirit will guide them as they form their own individual thoughts about what I’ve written.

There are some people who are reading, taking it all in and are quietly pondering. I love me some thinkers. I’m praying that the Holy Spirit moves in their lives to draw them into an even deeper, more intimate relationship with Christ as they work through what they themselves believe about all that I’ve said.

Some people don’t give a flying flip what Julie Mills thinks.

I expected all of those responses. But some things I didn’t anticipate.

I didn’t anticipate that assumptions would be made about what God had revealed to me before I could get to that part of the story.

I didn’t anticipate that those assumptions would be so far off the mark.

I didn’t anticipate that the preconceived ideas of some of the people reading would so completely envelope and suffocate my true message.

I didn’t anticipate that people would disagree so strongly with me without understanding what they were disagreeing with.

I didn’t anticipate that I would get so sidetracked by the task of explaining what I was NOT talking about.

I didn’t anticipate that I would get completely derailed by tangents.

So I’ve made a decision. Forget my story. If I get back to it, I get back to it. If not?

meh.

I’m grateful for the lesson learned. If God leads me to tell this story in the future, I will start at the end and work my way backwards.

Me, lamenting to FirstHusband: “It’s like I started out talking about oranges, but before I could even finish describing one, some people assumed I was talking about apples. And not just apples, ROTTEN apples. Now, somehow, I find myself not only talking about apples, but clarifying in painful detail the difference between rotten apples and fresh apples. I have no idea if and when I’m ever going to get back to describing the orange.

(Here’s how to crack that Julie code: Oranges represent abundant life in Christ. Rotten apples represent fire and brimstone turn or burn evangelism and fresh apples represent being open about what Christ has done and is doing in your every day life with the people in your every day life.)

So. For those of you who give a flyin flip, I’ve got another post, or maybe two, about fresh vs. rotten apples coming up and then I’m gonna start peeling an orange.

“If you love learning, you love the discipline that goes with it—how shortsighted to refuse correction!”
Proverbs 12:1

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.”

Kenneth A. Wells

This is the 11th post of a series. CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.

F5. How many people like me? F5. How many people like me?

Posted on February 14, 2013April 26, 2016 by Julie Stiles Mills

Yesterday I gave something up.

I realized it was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. But I didn’t give up this “something” for Lent. I haven’t observed Lent for decades, for reasons I won’t go into right now.

When I decided to give up this “something,” I knew I wanted to give it up forever. I need to give it up forever.

What is it?

My dependence on blog stats for affirmation.

For months, I had prayed like a widow, asking God if he wanted me to post some things I began writing in August of 2012. For months I fought against God’s relentless prompting to post. I rationalized. I pleaded.

I refused.

Finally, I got a word from God I knew I could not ignore. I knew I was being blatantly disobedient and that I would find no rest until I posted. So, nauseous and against my will, I hit publish.

And then F5.

again. and again. and again.

I continued to post every day. And I continued to refresh my blog stats.

Over the last week, God revealed to me that I had a refresh addiction. That stupid little F5 key was having a significant negative impact on my blog posting. From everything I wrote to what I posted to when I posted it. It was intruding on my thoughts. and my sleep.

I skipped a day. Posted. Skipped another day. Posted again.

I knew I was holding back. I was letting digital feedback interfere with God’s direction. I knew I had to cut off the stats. I’ll still respond to comments and private messages, but I’ve moved my blog stat widget and my “Top Ten” widget down in my navigation menus, out of my line of sight. If I find that I can still see them as I work, I’ll remove them altogether. I’ve turned off email notifications for when someone “likes” a post or “follows” my blog. I haven’t viewed my stats page or my “Live Traffic Feed” widget since early Wednesday morning.

It’s the end of my second day without blog stat feedback and I can honestly say.

LIBERATING.

I have absolutely no idea how many people are or are not reading my blog. I have no idea what posts are being read or how often. I have no idea where visitors are coming from or what they click on. I have no idea what search strings are being used to find my posts. I know nothing about my blog activity.

ahhhhh.

I thought I would be anxious. But I’m surprisingly relieved.

Here’s what my new blog plan looks like:

1. Pray
2. Write
3. Pray
4. Post
5. Pray
6. Trust God to do whatever He is going to do.
7. Repeat.

I need to depend on Christ for affirmation.

To read the next post in this series, click here: “I made a mistake.“

Am I now seeking human approval, or God’s approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

favorite child.

Posted on February 14, 2013October 23, 2016 by Julie Stiles Mills

FirstHusband is out of town, so finding a fresh pot of coffee when I came downstairs this morning was a nice surprise.

Me: “Someone made coffee?”

PinkGirl: “Me.”

Me: “awww. You’re my favorite daughter!”

PinkGirl: “I would have preferred ‘favorite child.'”

FavoriteSon: “What do you want?”

PinkGirl: “nothing!”

FavroiteSon: “umm. hmm.”

“Christ-centered Church.” I do not think it means what you think it means.

Posted on February 12, 2013April 5, 2018 by Julie Stiles Mills

This is the 9th post of a series. CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.

oh, go ahead. click the youtube video. It’s 7 seconds.

Lemme ‘splain. No, there is too much. Lemme sum up.

When I talk about “preaching Christ”
I am NOT talking about preaching
“everybody is a sinner and they need Jesus or they’re going Hell.”

This is something we need to get out of the way before I continue. Purge this assumption from your mind. It is an obstacle to the actual message I’m trying to convey. A misleading tangent. A stumbling block. A wrong assumption.

So I need to say it again, louder.

When I talk about “preaching Christ”
I am NOT only talking about preaching
“everybody is a sinner and they need Jesus or they’re going Hell.”

My point, from the very beginning of this blog series is this:

THERE. IS. MORE!!!
and I WANT IT.

Is that whole “preaching Christ means preaching about getting saved” thing gone?

No?

okay, lemme ‘splain.

I’ve gotten some very eclectic feedback on this blog series. One of the reasons I held off hitting the publish button for as long as I did was that I knew that what I had written was filled with the potential to confuse, discourage and tick people off just as much as it had the potential to wake up, inspire and encourage people.

I wondered. Would I hear crickets? Would anybody even read it? Would anybody want to talk to me about what I’d written? Or would it make people so uncomfortable around me they would avoid eye contact and walk the other direction when they saw me coming? Would something I’d written hurt someone? Make them angry? Would people tolerate my ideas if they were different than their own? Would I be dismissed with the silent treatment? Would ANYone identify with me? Would ANYone agree with me?

The answer?

YES.

But one thing I didn’t expect was that some people would think that by saying I wanted a “Christ-centered” church and that I wanted my pastor to “preach Christ” I was saying I wanted every sermon to be like this:

or worse yet, like this: (be sure and read it with a southern accent and yell the one syllable words that have morphed into two syllable words ending in “ah.”)

“EV-ER-EEbody IS A HORRIBLE, SINNER!!!! IF YOU DO NOT ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST-tah, IF YOU ARE NOT BORN AGAIN-nah, YOU’RE DESTINED-dah TO BURN IN HELL-lah FOR ETERNITY. DO I HEAR AN AMEN?!”

seriously.

That is NOT what I’m talking about.

and yet, in spite of everything I had written, that’s what some readers were coming away with.

I’m telling you. It was driving me nuts. I went back over my Christ-centered posts again and again and I didn’t SEE it. I could NOT find it.

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? WHERE DID I SEND THAT MESSAGE?

I didn’t.

Kudos to my friend “Flutterby43” for reminding me about decoding. Sad, really. I was a communication major. I should have remembered this.

Encoding is, to simplify it, the words and pictures I use to convey my message. DEcoding is how that message is interpreted. The constant here is that the encoding of my message is the same for everyone who is reading my blog posts. The variables are the personal filters that my message has to make it through as people interpret (decode) that message. The discrepancies in those interpretations are due to the fact that sometimes my message isn’t making it through the decoding process unscathed by those personal filters.

Translated? We all have baggage, people. And sometimes, that baggage leads us to interpret – or decode – messages in messages that aren’t really there. I’ve done it. We’ve all done it. We’ll all do it again.

But this time, I got some feedback about this message.

Here’s the conversation that finally led me to figure it out:

Flutterby43: “My quiet, introverted nature gravitates toward a more contemplative worship style, and I would be overwhelmed and, yes, SCARED by fire and brimstone – but I totally get where you’re coming from.”

Me: “Your comment “fire and brimstone.” Where does that come from? You’re not the first person to take that away. What did I say that caused you to think that? I can’t find it. I don’t see it.”

Flutterby43: “You didn’t use the term – That’s just my phraseology – honestly, if I had a pastor telling me every week that I needed Jesus, because I’m a hopeless sinner, it’d get old. (Again, that’s just my interpretation of what you’re saying) I know I need Jesus. I know I’m a sinner. But I’m just not an “in your face” kinda gal. I tend to beat myself up on my own – if I heard that every week, I’d come away from church feeling so bad about myself, I’d probably just crawl into bed and never leave the house!” (emphasis added)

Me: “ahhhhhhhh. Thank you! That was driving me crazy. I think I get it. “Preaching Christ” gives the impression that I’m talking about evangelism. and it appears evangelism means “fire and brimstone” and “turn or burn” to some people. I REALLY need to finish this series. I still haven’t gotten through what I mean by Gospel and preaching Christ. I thought I clarified that I wasn’t just talking about evangelism, in my post “the gospel is more than evangelism,” but I need to hurry up and explain – more and better.

There’s more to Christ than salvation.”

I knew when I started posting this series that it was long and that it would take me a while to get through it, but I didn’t think through how the drawn out nature of the process could lead to premature and incorrect assumptions about my point.

My bad.

The fact is, some people are going to run my message through their personal internal filters and think I am saying:

“I want to hear fire and brimstone turn or burn sermons every week. And every chance they get, I think everybody in my church should tell all their friends (and strangers) that if they don’t repent they’re going to hell! And when they don’t, they should feel really guilty about it. It’s just more evidence that everybody is a horrible, hopeless sinner and bad Christian.”

That’s NOT what I’m saying. Thankfully, from the feedback I’m receiving, I’m confident that some people are identifying with what I actually AM saying – my true message is resonating with them.

But here’s the thing, now that I know there are some people are going to interpret the words “Christ-centered” as “fire and brimstone turn or burn evangelism”, it’s MY RESPONSIBILITY TO MODIFY MY ENCODING in an effort to clarify my message and minimize any misinterpretation.

So, I’m holding off on my story for a little longer. I’ve got some encoding work to do.

To read the next post in this series, click here: F5. How many people like me? F5. How many people like me?

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)

“Everything is made to center upon the initial act of “accepting” Christ . . . and we are not expected thereafter to crave any further revelation of God to our souls. We have been snared in the coils of a spurious logic which insists that if we have found Him we need no more seek Him. This is set before us as the last word in orthodoxy, and it is taken for granted that no Bible-taught Christian ever believed otherwise. Thus the whole testimony of the worshipping, seeking, singing Church on that subject is crisply set aside. The experiential heart-theology of a grand army of fragrant saints is rejected in favor of a smug interpretation of Scripture which would certainly have sounded strange to an Augustine, a Rutherford or a Brainerd.”
The Pursuit of God (free on Kindle from Amazon)
by A. W. Tozer.

This is the 9th post of a series. CLICK HERE to view a page listing all the posts in the series.