favorite child.

just enough dysfunction to make you funnyFirstHusband is out of town, so finding a fresh pot of coffee when I came downstairs this morning was a nice surprise.

Me: “Someone made coffee?”

PinkGirl: “Me.”

Me: “awww. You’re my favorite daughter!”

PinkGirl: “I would have preferred ‘favorite child.'”

FavoriteSon: “What do you want?”

PinkGirl: “nothing!”

FavroiteSon: “umm. hmm.”

#smartaleckid

smart alecMe: “Hey, FavoriteSon. I know that Jesus is the common thread through the entire Bible but is there an actual Bible verse stating that?

FavoriteSon:“I dunno.”

Me: “You’re slacking on your ‘walking concordance’ duties. How much have we paid for your Christian education anyway?”

FavoriteSon: “I got it. Ecclesiastes 10:19”

Me: “uh huh. I can tell already that you’re jerking me around.”

FavoriteSon: “No. Really.”

Ecclesiastes 10:19: “A feast is made for laughter, and wine makes life merry, but money is the answer for everything.”

Me: “hhhhhhhh”

Volcanoooooo (a sixth grade science project)

Here’s how PinkGirl’s volcano science project turned out yesterday:

If you’ve been around for a while, you might remember FavoriteSon’s volcano project. Here’s an excerpt from that blog post:

We end up at Michael’s craft store with four packages of quick drying clay, a terra cotta pot and . . . a rocket engine. Yes. Michael’s sells rocket engines. FirstHusband is smiling and FavoriteSon is explaining how there really IS a type of volcano that explodes like that . . . The boys spend all morning Saturday wiring and soldering. Then they go into the backyard to test it before they make a terra cotta pot LOOK like a volcano. It works. It explodes. I look at FavoriteSon and say, “When you get sent to the office on Monday, give them your dad’s work number so he can explain how that’s perfectly safe.” . . . Then it’s tested again, this time adding sand to the top of the volcano so it shoots dirt up into the air and looks even more realistic . . . either FavoriteSon will be suspended or he will get an “A” on this project. (postscript: he got an “A”)

So. This time, explosives are NOT an option. PinkGirl has the same science teacher FavoriteSon did. No playing the “I had no idea” card. But PinkGirl wanted “a BIG explosion.” How to do that without ignition? FirstHusband wanted to buy a portable compressor, but his attempt to justify the expense by coming up with other things to do with it after making a volcano explode?

FAIL.

So my father (SuperPappy) suggested the shop vac reversed. The lampshade idea came to me during a severe allergic reaction to crafting after my husband said the words “paper mache” to me. We picked out a dirty, torn lampshade and got a 25% discount. Final Sale. No returns.

No problem. Crafting avoided.

As you can see, the explosion was a HIT. The ash went higher than the fence.

Here’s the written report PinkGirl wrote to accompany the volcano shown in the video:

“Volcanoes are amazing things of nature and only God can create them. Still for my project I tried my best and I also had fun while doing it. From deciding what type of volcano mine is or what type of eruption it will have it was a fun learning experience that I would love to tell you about.

The First thing I did was paint the lampshade (which is my volcano). It was actually a lot harder than I thought it was going to be because I had to mix paint to find the right color. The second thing I did was cut a hole in the box big enough for the pipe. Then I cut the top of the lampshade out with bolt cutter. (It was awesome!) After that I measured and cut the pipe to the right size with a hack saw. (My dad helped a little for this part but I did cut with a hack saw.) Next I glued the pipe to the adapter and cut the small pipe to the right size and glued it to the adapter and the elbow of the other pipe. Then I put another hole in the side of the box and put the side pipe in it. Next is my favorite part. I put coal in a bag and crushed it with a hammer. After that I poured the ash and coal in and covered it with saran wrap. Then I painted the box green and put the “Snow” on the volcano. The last step was decorating it with little touches to make it look better.

During the process of building my volcano I learned all about Composite volcanoes and plinian eruptions. Composite volcanoes are made out of ash, tephra, and lava. Plinian eruptions are violent and have lots of ash and poisonous gasses. Mt. Saint Helens was a composite volcano and had a plinian eruption.

I always thought a volcano just meant lava and smoke but I now understand that volcanoes are much more complicated than that. God must have had fun designing and creating volcanoes. He is a very creative God who has an amazing imagination. Volcanoes are dangerous magnificent things that create new land, give us dazzling treasures, and really open our eyes to show us how marvelous our world really is. I can only imagine what other planets are like.

t-minus 12 hours.

Me: “PinkGirl, you know what time it is?”

PinkGirl: “what?”

Me: “Time to lay out your clothes for school tomorrow.”

faux fainting.

extreme, dramatic faux fainting

Me: “And pack your lunch.”

PinkGirl: “Noooooooooo!!!!!”

and just like that. Summer is over.

facebook fragments of a Mother’s Day weekend.

In case you don’t follow me on facebook or twitter, here’s a little compilation of my weekend updates:

Friday, May 11, 2012 – Trying to learn this: “The difference between being 95% prepared & 100% prepared (whatever that is) is infinitesimal. It is not perceived. But the energy expended in moving from 95% to 100% is immense, much more than that required to move from 75% to 95%.” Alan Weiss

Saturday, May 12 2012
11:24am – My husband loves me! He just used his AMEX points to buy me a new phone for Mother’s Day!!! (I’m not eligible for an upgrade till November). I hope I love it as much as I think I will! But if not, I ordered it from Walmart. They let you return anything.

4:19pm – Tackling the paper mountain that is my office. I’ve avoided working in there since I brought the 45+ pounds of paper home from my mom’s house after her death in December. Time to reclaim my work space. #somuchpaper

7:45pm – More than three hours later and I’m still going through the 45+ pounds of paper I’ve ignored since I brought it home from my mom’s after her death in December. Thousands of pieces of paper – mementos, letters, records, photos…when I started this weekend project, I didn’t even connect it with Mother’s Day. God is weird that way.

10:53pm – took over 6 hours to sort all the paper from my mom’s house. Now I’m ready to deep clean and purge my office of our own paper and clutter. Well. not NOW. Maybe tomorrow.

Sunday, May 13, 2012
2:34pm – So proud of PinkGirl! She did a wonderful job on “Mighty to Save” this morning during the 8am and 11am services. And an added mom bonus? She LISTENED and FOLLOWED MY ADVICE during her vocal warm up this morning!!! A Mother’s Day miracle! #ilovemydaughter

3:08pm – I ordered my new phone yesterday. I’m ready for it to be here now. #impatient

I’m going from a 2.5 x 2.5 inch Motorola Flipout to a 7 inch Dell Streak

This is a HUGE change for me. No more tucking my phone in my bra. Just saying.

3:27pm
PinkGirl’s text to her dad about singing special music at the 8am service this morning: “The power went out so we stopped and I messed up double so yay!” 8:29 AM
PinkGirl: “DAD!” 8:31 AM
PinkGirl: “Yo Horton!!!” 8:31 AM
Her Dad: “Bummer. You will do better at 11” 8:34 AM
PinkGirl: My dress was sooo short i was afraid i was gonna flash the congregation! :o” 8:36 AM
(Mom Note: she is so impatient. I don’t know where she gets it. and the dress was short, but not that short. There was no view of London or France at any time.)

7:06pm – I had to complete a scavenger hunt to find my Mother’s Day present. Seven clues later, it was a coupon for “a FREE two day pass to PINKGIRL WORLD! Where PinkGirl will tend to your every need and do whatever you want willingly without grumbling or complaining. Not valid on School Days.” The location of this priceless coupon? Buried in the cat’s litter box. At least she scooped it first. #ilovemydaughter

All in all, it was a good weekend. Finally got to meet a long time blog friend and her family at EPCOT Friday night while they were vacationing here. A rare Sunday morning praise team set where I think we had a perfect balance between abandoning ourselves to worship and striving for excellence and time spent with friends and family on Sunday afternoon.

God is Good. All the Time.

the foundation of my work ethic. “Would you like fries with that?”

My daughter was lounging around the house in a circa 1970s McDonalds uniform last night. The neon green version.

Attractive, I know.

She’s got a decade project due this week, so we’ve been in the attic. And now she wants to wear this to school. Her brother wore the SAME uniform to school for 70’s Day during spirit week in middle school (and won first place for that day.)

Some kids have no fear. so. much. polyester.

This was the job I got at 16 to make the $53 a month car payment on my 1971 Mustang. I did everything: counter, drive thru, grill, hostess, opening, closing, birthday parties, I even started manager training before I came to my senses and decided to finish college. I worked there from 1980 to 1983, back when the employees made double cheeseburgers before they were on the menu. These uniforms had been worn for years before.

Wasn’t I lucky to work at the “green” McDonalds? (And green has a totally different meaning in this context than it does today.) I wanted the deep blue. Or at least the baby blue. But the green was SOOO much better than the brown/maroon.

Anybody else remember the 7 steps for taking a customer order at McDonalds “back in the day?”

1. Smile and Greet the Customer
2. Take the Order/Repeat the Order
3. Suggestive Sell
4. Assemble the Order
5. Accept the payment
6. Present the Order
7. Thank them and ask them to Come Again.

What’d I tell you? Foundation of my work ethic.

“Discovery Day” is right.

FirstHusband and FavoriteSon went to a college “Discovery Day” on Saturday, inspecting a potential choice for FavoriteSon.

I think it just hit me that, if he goes away to college as a freshman, his sister will only be in 7th grade when he goes.

That hadn’t even crossed my mind.

We would miss him like crazy, but his sister? Serious, serious, serious sadness. The loss of that daily interaction between them would be so hard for her. They may fight sometimes, but they really love each other.

Anyone have that experience themselves as a child? Have an older sibling move away to college?
How old were you? How did it change your daily life? How do you think the presence an older brother or sister in your daily life would have changed your remaining years living at home?

do the right thing because it’s the right thing.

Last night I was repeating: “God loves my kids more than I do. God loves my kids more than I do. God loves my kids more than I do.”

FavoriteSon went out. On a Friday night. First time driving in heavy traffic IN THE DARK.

“God loves my kids more than I do. God loves my kids more than I do. God loves my kids more than I do.”

In the end, God brought FavoriteSon home safe.

Actually, his friend drove him home because they finished up after 11pm and his dad and I won’t allow him to drive past the State of Florida driving curfew for 16 year olds (11pm). We have to go pick up his car today, but it’s a very small price to pay to reinforce the lesson that we don’t break the law, even if he “probably wouldn’t have gotten caught.”

little known facts: I am a Peep Hater

I haven’t added to my “little known fact” list since January of 2011. It’s way overdue for some attention.

Here’s #30:

I would rather eat a Brussel sprout than a Peep. bleh. It’s like goo with glitter on it.

and again. bleh.

and #31:

I have absolutely no problem, however, purchasing Peeps for the sole purpose of blowing them up in the microwave. After seeing this on facebook, we’ll be new to “Peep Jousting” this year. As Larry the Cable Guy would say, “I don’t care who ya are, that’s funny right there.”

and a fitting end to a Peep in my opinion.